I didn’t even realize that the roundhouse kick was a common move that was used outside of action films involving Chuck Norris, but this guy has it down. He’s even good enough to hit the part of the head that doesn’t have any protection. Damn.

If you’ve been watching the Olympics the past couple of days, these girls to the right might look familiar. They are the three leading gymnasts on the U.S.A.’s team who helped bring home a silver medal last night in the all-around team competition. But please take note of the one in the middle - Alicia Sacramone. Don’t worry guys, she’s 20 years-old. But do worry, because she could knock you out! Check out the video below of her throwing a wicked left cross to a dude at a party at Brown University. U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

Look for Alicia to be knocking girls out later in the Olympics as she competes in the individual events.

No internet-photoshop-tomfoolery here that is Jamison Stone standing with the 1,000-pound wild hog that he dropped last year in Alabama. Good Christ, that thing looks like it could eat an 11 year old kid. Of course Jamison hasn’t exactly been able to enjoy his prize kill. Some ass-clown animal rights activist in New York is claiming Jameson should be prosecuted for animal cruelty because it took nine shots to kill the hog. It’s a 1000-pound-fucking-wild-boar how many shots do you think it is going to take to kill it? Sure they might be in Alabama but they at least have enough sense not to give an 11 year old a fucking elephant gun (most of the time).

“You should see some of the emails and hear some of the calls we have received,” Jamison’s father said. “They are explicit. They tell how they are going to kill my son, like cutting his head off.

What kind of a person threatens the life of a kid over an animal? The kind of person that needs to climb down out of their sad little “I heart animals” tower and step back into reality, that’s who.

Original Story: Fox News

Tired of using a rod and reel to catch fish? Why not drop out of the sky like a bird of prey and wrestle the bastard? This crazy ass Australian decided he was going to catch himself a fish like the birds. Since he can’t fly he decided to use the next best thing which would be a helicopter. Much like the cable guy getting punched in the nuts this could be fake but that looks like a pretty goddamn real fish.

via Gizmodo

“Dude, I can’t talk, I’m being chased by the police,” –Grayson Clevenger

Here is the kicker, it was the cops on the phone. The cops were on their way to arrest Grayson when they saw him leave his residence in a stolen Dodge Durango. Detectives tried calling Grayon who answered the phone and gave the above response before hanging up.

It doesn’t say how many miles the chase covered but it started in Minnesota then briefly entered Wisconsin before coming back into Minnesota. I guess technically the chase is still on because Grayson ditched the Durango and managed to escape on foot.

Original Story: Fox News

This is a pretty amazing feat considering that he jumped all those stairs without using anything on wheels. Oh, and he did a flip too. Badass.

Let me set the stage here: Professional Golfer/Drinker John Daly playing in a Pro-AM tournament in Michigan. Pro-AM Partner: Detroit’s own Kid Rock (wearing appropriate golf attire of overalls). Shot: Golf ball teed up on a 24 oz. can of Budweiser. Result: AWESOME! Even more impressive, Daly’s ability to leave the can after the tee shot, but Kid Rock is there to pick up scraps.

How many points do you get for writing “Fuck Off” on your English exam? If you are in the U.K. apparently you get two points.

“It would be wicked to give it zero, because it does show some very basic skills we are looking for - like conveying some meaning and and some spelling,” examiner Peter Buckroyd told the Times.

Right, because you wouldn’t want to upset the precious snowflake that told you to “Fuck Off”. Mr. Buckroyd went on to say that this star pupil could have possibly scored three points with the answer if he would have added an exclamation point. The answer was written in response to the question, “Describe the room you’re sitting in.”

I do agree that is kind of a bullshit question.

Original Story: Metro.co.uk

I Want to Fuck This Movie

Now that is the kind of movie review headline that is going to get me off my ass and to the movie theater. I have been interested in Wanted ever since I saw the first preview but I was on the fence as to whether or not I would actually see it in the theater. I think this review pretty much sealed the deal that the money is going to have to be spent. I don’t want to spoil the whole review so here is just a small bit.

What do you get when you combine the sultriest pair of hips and lips in Hollywood, seemingly tethered together only by body art; blood splatters that course with viscous glee; enough cold, hard steel to resurrect Heston; bullets that curve; joyous holes in the head; and a hot, slathering mess of McAvoy? You get Wanted, a movie you want to take behind the middle school and impregnate. With twins.

Full Review

In an attempt to (re)mix up their fall fashions like it was 1993, Sears has partnered with the rap legend LL Cool J to produce a fall line of clothes targeting children, teen girls and suburban white teenagers young men.

USA Today reported this earlier in the week and I learned two things from the article: LL Cool J has an album coming out in June and Sears sells clothes. Weird.

Anyway, my prediction for the LL Cool J (Ladies Love Cool James, for those of you who didn’t know) line of clothes is that they’ll progress about the same way his career has:

1. Clothing line will be named with a similar format: MWW Cool H (Must Wear With Cool Hats)

2. Initial season of clothes will be bangin’, so much so that your mama will knock you out.

3. Clothing line will be challenged by a rival line, made entirely of Hemp. MWW Cool H will prevail and spark a brief up-turn in sales.

4. Product placement in shows on the CW and over-hyped movies will diminish street cred of clothing line.

5. Sears claims MWW Cool H “greatest clothing line of all-time,” despite common sense.

6. MWW Cool H hopes for retro revival due to overstocking of clothing line at Goodwill/Savers.

7. In a counter move, Target and Wal-Mart… oh wait, they didn’t know Sears sold clothes either. Nevermind.

Original Article: USA Today

Not sure what happened between yesterday and today but the auction for this 1 of 5 Batmobile made for Tim Burton’s Batman in 1989 has been pulled off of Ebay. I wouldn’t shed too many tears over missing out on the opportunity to own this kick ass movie prop unless of course you had a spare $500K to burn.

While it would be cool to own it looks like you would spend more time dusting the 20′ long by 8′ wide beast than you would driving it. Gizmodo U.K. reports that some kind of Warner Brothers contract has to be signed when you buy the car which may stipulate that you can’t drive it in public. I am guessing they are right because the 1989 model year Batmobile has only 54 miles on it.

Check out Complex for the rest of the Batmobile pictures.

When searching for a potential female to mate, three things I don’t look for:

1) Bigger biceps than me

2) Bigger penis than me

3) Transformers Tramp Stamp

This one’s a keeper. Some lucky guy gets to look at that while Superman-ing that ass! What a boner maker.

You can bet your sweet ass I have already pre-ordered this on Amazon. If the Uzi and the ponytail in the cover art aren’t enough to sell you then the book description should be able to seal the deal.

Now, finally, Vern is ready to unleash his magnum opus: an in-depth study of the world’s only aikido instructor turned movie star/director/writer/blues guitarist/energy drink inventor — the ass-kicking auteur Steven Seagal. From Above the Law to his Mountain Dew commercials, his entire career is covered in Vern’s inimitable style.

As Vern himself puts it, Seagalogy is “a book that will shake the very foundations of film criticism, break their wrists and then throw them through a window.”

Here is my question. If Seagal is the only aikido instructor, who taught him? Did Seagal kill him after receiving his blackbelt? Maybe being an aikido instructor is like being the Highlander and there can be only one.

Amazon Product Page via Slashfilm

Yuri Lyalin, a Russian electrician, was out drinking vodka with some co-workers when an argument broke out. One of his co-workers, a watchman, ended up stabbing him in the back with a six inch kitchen knife. Yuri was so goddamn drunk he failed to notice the wound and passed out in the watchman’s office. When he awoke in the morning Yuri took the bus home and then had some leftover sausage before hitting the sack for a little more shut eye. A couple of hours into his nap his wife noticed the knife handle still sticking out of his back and called the ambulance.

Doctors removed the knife which had missed Yuri’s vital organs. Apparently Yuri has no hard feelings towards his co-worker and had this to say.

“We were drinking and what doesn’t happen when you’re drunk?”

Goddamn, Yuri is obviously a wise man. Sage like if you will.

Now that I have your attention, what’s with all the energy drinks that reference cocaine? A few months, or maybe even a year ago, there was a big hoopla over Cocaine (the energy drink). Now there is an energy powder. Yes, you can cut the shit with a credit card, then add it to the beverage of your choice. I wonder what MADD will have to say about Blow Energy. Cocaine (the energy drink) wasn’t even on the market for a minute before it was pulled. When word of Blow Energy reaches the halls of your local high school, I say 2 months before it’s pulled from the market. The coolest part about the “supplement” is that you can buy a VP credit card to use when chopping up lines of the finest Peruvian energy supplement.

I’m all for energy drinks, in fact I’m drinking a redbull right this very minute as I waste away precious study minutes. Nothing better than wasting time on Tastybooze, trying to avoid the stress of upcoming law school exams. I’m going to have to track down some of this blow and write up a review.