I’m not really sure what this video is from, maybe rioting in Tampa after the Rays lost the World Series on Wednesday night, but a fan has climbed a light tower and becomes the target from the crowd below. The first bottle was just a love-tap, the second delivers the knockout blow.

What would you do for baseball playoff tickets? Would you let this girl kick you in the nuts? “How bad can it be, right?” Famous last words.

The Tampa Bay Devilrays, or just Rays, won their first AL East Title earlier this week. Recently that title had belonged to the New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox for a good majority of the time that the Rays have even been in the majors.

This year will be the Rays’ first trip to the post-season, obviously the clubhouse was not appropriately stocked with the proper celebrating necessities. As if drinking Bud Light out of the can wasn’t bad enough, the Rays shared swigs from a teammates’ cup. Not a drinking cup, a protect-your-balls cup. If the team comes down with some mysterious oral infection, I think we know what to blame.

Original Story: Big League Stew

Storms/hurricanes throughout the weekend caused numerous sports to be rescheduled across the country. In New York, the Mets played a double-header on Sunday as a result. That means a lot of afternoon drinking. One unfortunate fan passed out in his seat and was mocked mercifully with an empty beer cup balanced on his head - fans posed for photos and attempted to stack more cups as a crowd grew. The Mets are in the middle of a pennant race, but this guy became the main attraction as you’ll see. The video is 10 minutes long, but it’s hilarious!

And yes, I am a bitter Mariner’s fan.  So what.  But seriously, what if you were that guy with the window below the Yankees towel.  It is all up in his shit.

I’ve never seen a batter get hit as square in the nuts with a pitch as this guy here. I love the reaction in slow-motion, a little delayed, then, “Oh, my f–king nuts!” The umpire even had to give himself a little cup check towards the end.

I went to Wrigley Field once, I wasn’t at a legal drinking age, but after watching this video, I definitely want to go back and sit in the bleachers with an ice, cold, crisp Budweiser - as the late Harry Carey would say. Baseball Pong is simple, a ball is thrown into the crowd during batting practice…catch it in your beer and pound it! Oh, the great American pastime!

At a recent all-male gathering for the All-Star Game a hot dog eating contest took place. We’re not talking the Hebrew National style contest of the 4th of July, but some douchebag decided to use those huge fucking polish sausages from Costco. It’s like a 3-to-1 ratio of Hebrew Nationals to Polish Sausages! Anyway, FrankTheTank dominated and essentially taunted the rest of the competitors.

Here is FrankTheTank’s new challenge: The 3.5 lbs Homewrecker from HillBillly Hotdogs. Full description from the web site:

The Homewrecker is a 3.5-lb. weapon of cardiovascular mass destruction. They start with a deep-fried 15″, 1-pound dog and top it with peppers, onions, nacho cheese, chili sauce, jalapenos, mustard, ketchup, coleslaw, tomatoes, lettuce, and shredded cheese. Assured intestinal wreckage will run you $14.99. Finish it in under 12 minutes and you get a free burial t-shirt. Do it in under 4 minutes and your family will have an extra $14.99 for the funeral.

First, I know it’s 3.5 pounds, but $14.99! God damn that is expensive! Is it some kind of special Kobe beef hot dog? Not to mention, HillBilly Hotdogs is located in West Virginia, so I think this probably tops the list of most expensive meals in the state.

Original Story: Aldente Blog

As I sit here at my desk with an office running at about a 70 percent vacancy rate, the last couple days have really turned the week around for women. Sure us guys started the week on manly notes with the Home Run Derby and All-Star Game, then finished it off with the release of Batman: The Dark Knight.

But women have come back the second half of the week, as the anticipated premier of “Project Runway” was on Wednesday night, thus dominating all water-cooler/hallway/lavatory conversations on Thursday. And now my office is barely occupied by the few men who actually work here. You see, it’s the first day of Nordstrom’s Anniversary Sale. Women mark this day on their calendar like it’s their birthday, using a vacation day, calling in “sick” or just getting up at the crack of dawn to get a couple of hours of shopping in before dragging ass at work. Check out the chick stampede at the Downtown Seattle Nordstrom’s here in the picture…be careful, those Starbucks can be used as weapons!

Actually it’s been kind of nice, I’ve been especially productive for a Friday. But now I’m going to grab a beer and kick-start my weekend. Hope everyone has a good one.

The Mid-Summer Classic, a.k.a. baseball’s All-Star Game, was just that last night, a classic. The game extended into the 15th inning and into the wee hours of the morning on the East Coast, allowing for the immediate nickname of the “New York Marathon.” Although the 4-3 final score, in favor of the American League, was low; the game still provided a number of exciting moments and drama. The night had been long over for most of the big name All-Stars, and even the Yankee Stadium crowd slowly trickled out of the stands as the long drew on.

In the end Michael Young, Texas Ranger, hit a bases-loaded sacrifice fly, scoring the Twin’s Justin Morneau for the game-winning run. Even the final play was a close call at home.

A couple of parties on Monday night probably kept the some of the All-Stars a little subdued throughout the game. As gracious hosts, Yankees Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez both hosted parties in Manhattan. A-Rod’s party was Madonna-themed. Whereas Jeter’s get-together was hosted by Nike’s Jordan Brand and featured his new Jeter Clutch training shoe. The guest list included TastyBooze favorite Wade Boggs, Michael Jordan, former Yankee/Mariner Tino Martinez, Gabrielle Union, Billy Crystal, Fabolous, Busta Rhymes, a couple of the boys from Boyz II Men and others. Dan Uggla looked hungover as he made three errors at second base, and Kevin Youkilis was seen pounding a Red Bull as he sat the bench.

Overall it was a great game, luckily as a West Coast resident, I only had to stay up until 10:30 p.m. to watch it!

Last night the Texas Rangers’ Josh Hamilton put on a show during the All-Star Home Run Derby by hitting 28 home runs in the first round. Hamilton broke the previous record set by Bobby Aberu and received multiple standing ovations from the crowd at Yankee Stadium, and praises from his fellow All-Stars, for the display of power. Unfortunately, Hamilton was a little worn out and struggled in the final two rounds, coming in second to Justin Morneau.

As the All-Star Game starts in only a couple hours, Hamilton will be trying to make it 11 straight wins for the AL. Check it out on FOX at 8 p.m. EST/5 p.m. PST.

If you live in Seattle, or follow baseball at all, you know that signing Richie Sexson to a 4-year, $50 million contract was just one of many bad decisions by Mariners’ management. Honorable mentions include: a) signing Carlos Silva to a 4-year, $48 million dollar contract, b) replacing Jose Guillen with Brad Wilkerson (of the Strikeout Hall of Fame — the other member is Richie Sexson), who, by the way, is now a Toronto Blue Jay, and c) paying Jose Vidro to DH. Well hallelujah, Mariners! Yesterday, you did the right thing by releasing Richie Sexson. Sure, you’re going to eat at least $6 million this year on him regardless of what you do with him, but at least you can get some young talent some at-bats, or, I don’t know, try to win.

Considering the nearly monumental struggles of Sexson over the past three seasons, I ventured out to talk to some people close to Sexson to try and gain some insight as to how Richie is going to react to the news of his release. I was amazed at what I learned.

During an interview with local optomitrist Dr. Richard Gentry, he mentioned that he’d, “talked to [Richie Sexson] several times over the last three years during his regular, and emergency, appointments about lasik eye surgery, or at the very least, wearing contract lenses. Every time I’d suggest it he’d dismiss me with a wave of his hand, like he was shooing a dog away. ” When we asked Dr. Gentry the reasoning behind Richie’s refusal to improve his vision, he responded, “That stupid sonofabitch told me he enjoyed going up to the plate guessing on each pitch. And that he was still basking in the glory of pulling the wool over the owners’ eyes, getting them to sign him to a huge, albeit undeserved, contract. ‘It was the HGH,’ [Richie] told me.”

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You gotta love watching kids play sports. So uncoordinated, but impossible not to watch. Hank Yerzimbeck did something similar to me when we were little, but he used a real, metal bat. That was not a good day.

Once out from the oppressive administration at colleges and universities, those partaking in somewhat organized co-ed sports leagues are forced to come up with their own creative and usually offensive or crude team names. Co-Ed Sports are a past-time for the quarter-lifers and is even called out as #65 of Stuff White People Like. Girls enjoy the opportunity to participate in sports for the semi-competitive atmosphere or their boyfriends are making them do it. Guys love the competitiveness no matter how drunk much the other team doesn’t care and it’s also their last hope at getting discovered for the MLB/NFL/NBA/PBA/MLS.

Gone are the simple team names from your adolescence, like “Wildcats,” “Bears,” “[Local Professional Sports Team Name],” and “Yankees.” Balls, poles, bases, bats, runs, and scoring, are turned into euphemisms for male genitalia, male genitalia, female genitalia, male genitalia, fecal matter, and mom jokes. Put a couple of these together and you have yourself a pretty clever team name.

TastyBooze staff members have played in numerous co-ed sports leagues (current team is Wu-Tang themed, Wu-Tang ain’t nothing to fuck wit!) and we’ve come up with our list of favorite team names below.

25 – I Scored With Your Mom (Baseball/Softball)
24 – Freebasers (Baseball/Softball)
23 - Back Dat Pass Up (Football/Soccer)
22 – Multiple Scorgasm (Any Sport)
21 – Triple Penetration (Bowling)
20 – Masterbatters (Baseball/Softball)
19 – Suck My Kick (Kickball/Soccer)
18 – Long Poles and Deep Holes (Golf)
17 – 2 Balls 1 Cup (Golf)
16 – Kick Tease (Kickball/Soccer)

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Sure, batters get beaned all the time. But an umpire? It seems to make sense. If you are pissed off at the calls he’s making, just throw the ball at him. Well, now it’s been done.

“So now it’s the bottom of the fourth, with Ethan playing short and Cody on the mound. The catcher is Matt Hill. There are no outs. The count is 0-1. Cody winds up and flings a very high, very hard fastball. Hill comes out of his squat, puts his glove up to catch it, then does a very funny thing. He doesn’t. Instead, he drops to his knees before the ball gets to him. Doesn’t even try to catch it. Just flops to his knees, with his head looking down at the plate. Never looks up or back. The ball, meanwhile, conks umpire Jeff Scott square in the face mask. Rocks him back. Then squirts up the third-base line.”

As the umpire, I don’t know how you prove you are being thrown at. I mean, the pitcher is literally throwing right at you every single pitch. Umpires, beware.

Source: ESPN