Do you love drinking 40s, but hate the fact that the end is always warm? You need a 40 cozy, son! A couple of weeks ago we were lucky enough to have a couple of 40 cozies show up at the Tasty Booze test labs. The idea is so simple it’s genius. I have been drinking 40s since before I was legal and the problem has always been that the booze is always warm once you get to the last quarter of the 40. Even if you go the Brass Monkey route you are still going to end up with warm, orange juice flavored malt liquor.
The cozy itself is pretty basic, as it should be. It is made out of your standard neoprene type cozy material with a handle stitched to the side. The bottle slides into the cozy, your hand slides through the handle and then you are ready to get down to business. Let’s be honest, it’s a cozy, not a fucking rubik’s cube.
Last Friday I stopped by the local Safeway and picked up a couple of Bud Heavy 40s so that Honcho and I could give these things a proper run through. I opted for the couture design and Honcho rolled with the bandana model. The cozy fits nice and tight around the 40, and despite the band that runs underneath the bottle, the 40 was stable when you set it down on a table. The handle on the cozy works well and gives you a little extra sense of security when you are holding the big ass bottle. I wouldn’t recommend trying to hold a full 40 by just the handle during normal use, but we tried it. While the handle held, it was pretty hard to keep the 40 under control.
In order to really test the cold retention capabilities of the cozy, Honcho and I decided we needed to slow down our normal drinking pace a little. We fired up the old Rock Band machine and started jamming. I would say it took us about 45 minutes to finish our 40s and both were cool to the last drop. They weren’t refrigerator cold but they were definitely cooler than if we were brown-bagging it.
Bottom line, if you drink 40s on a regular basis do yourself a favor and get a 40 cozy.
Feast your eyes on what has got to be one of the most elaborate beer pong tables every constructed. It has 600 LEDs that flash to the beat of the music and automatic ball washers for fucks sake.
I will bet anyone $20 that somebody dipped their ball sack into one of those swirling ball washers. How else are you going to test if the current is strong enough to actually clean the ping pong balls?
Jump to the 2:30 mark to skip the builders montage and get right to the action.
If you answered yes to both of those questions then today is your lucky day. Solutions is selling the remote control cooler for only $69.95. This little remote controlled bastard can keep up to six of your favorite brews ice cold and will work up to 30 feet away. The RC cooler isn’t just limited to your backyard. It’s collapsible and comes with a shoulder strap which means you can lug it down to your favorite tailgate and impress all your buddies with your own beerbot.
I don’t even have a patio but I need to get one of these things. I wonder how well it will work over carpet. I would be pretty sweet to drive ice cold beers around to all your buddies while you are watching the game on the couch. Time to find the Tasty Booze company credit card and make purchase. It’s for the good of the site.
Thank God it’s Beer Review Friday. I spent last night drinking Sierra Nevada’s Summerfest Lager and watching The Office. As usual, Michael Scott continues to amaze me. Anyways, on to the beer review. Hopefully you can include Summerfest in your summer getting-fucked-up repertoire.
Our Summerfest® is a refreshing, pilsner-style lager. Its incredible smoothness comes from an extra-long lagering period. Lighter in body than our ales but just as complex in character, Summerfest® quenches your thirst with big aroma and a tangy hop bite.
While I enjoy a big aroma and a tangy hop bite, the best thing about Summerfest is the fact that it’s a pilsner-style lager that doesn’t come in a green bottle. Nothing tastes worse than a beer in a green bottle (i.e. Beck’s, Pilsner Urquell, Heineken, Stella Artois - all pilsners). Summerfest, on the other hand, doesn’t taste like shit. I could easily sit down and kick back a six-pack of these boys ($8.99 at the local mini-mart) without getting that pissy aftertaste in my mouth.
If you’re in to lighter summer beers, Sierra Nevada’s Summerfest is a beer for you. It’s nice and crisp, light and golden. It would be the perfect companion on a hot summer afternoon. Do yourself a favor and try it out. Don’t get me wrong, Sierra Nevada’s Pale Ale is still the king at the Sierra Nevada Berwing Co., but this is a nice seasonal with a generous 5.0% alcohol content.
Bill Bramanti, 67, loves his PBR so much he had his coffin designed to look like the beer can. He ordered the coffin from a Chicago funeral home and then had a local sign shop apply the kick ass graphics.
What do you do with a coffin that you don’t technically have a body for yet? Fill it with ice and PBR and you have a party. Bramanti did confirm that the coffin is the right size.
“I actually fit, because I got in here,” said Bramanti of South Chicago Heights.
I wonder how many PBRs Bramanti slammed down before he crawled into that thing. I am guessing I would need about thirteen before I got in any coffin, sixteen if it was my own coffin. Hopefully that thing has some kind of drain in the bottom otherwise it is going to be a bitch to empty after all the ice melts.
While not appealing in name, Lumpy Gravy is a good spring/summer brown ale that smells heavily of malts and chocolate. Smooth on the throat and pleasant on the taste buds, Gravy is refreshing and not too hoppy. Gravy comes from the fabulous Lagunitas Brewing Company, makers of the slap you in the mouth Maximus. Like everything LBC makes, this beer is delightful.
The other night I was at a seasonal beer tasting with samples ranging from barley wines to light lagers. Gravy stood out as one of the best with its unique flavors and general pleasantness. In general, people seemed to like the chocolate aftertaste and the nutty slightly sweet initial taste. Needless to say, I liked it so much I recently stole some from my local beer store.
Ok, onto the nitty gritty:
Will people make fun of you for ordering this? No, this beer is the shit. However, telling people you are drinking lumpy gravy is a good way to keep them away from your beer. I’m looking at you Gary.
Will I get drunk? Indeed, at 7.2% ABV this beer will make you feel comfortable with your ragged appearance sooner than later. Thankfully, unlike other high ABV beers this one doesn’t leave your mouth parched after a couple of minutes. I don’t know why, but is doesn’t.
When is the best time to drink Gravy? When you are awake.
Why haven’t I heard of this before: Well, you are a ignorant or stupid. Ignorance can be solved.
What else? Luckily, Lumpy Gravy is served only in 22s and kegs. Thus, you should go get a keg of Gravy, throw a party, and write your own review in the comments section.
Overall, this unique and awesome brown ale has everything you want in a warm weather semi-dark beer. Caramel at the front and the end. Hops that are pleasant, but don’t overpower your throat, allowing you to comfortably imbibe at whatever pace you wish. Plus, it goes real well with sandwiches and burgers. So take this ale out the ball game or something like that.
Apparently Bud Light has decided to jump into the lime beer game. Miller has been slanging their Miller Chill for the last six months and it must be doing well if Bud Light is going to get into the market space.
Corona has got to be pissed that they didn’t think of this first. Why would you go through the hassle of sticky fingers and handling sharp knives when you can get a Bud Light with the flavor already added? Although one could argue that Bud Light doesn’t taste like piss to begin with so the lime flavoring might be a little unnecessary.
Dammit I wish I could toss coasters like this little green bastard. Those are the kind of party trick skills that will get you laid and get you paid.
Click the picture to the right or hit the link below to see the video.
All About Beer Magazine published a list of 125 Places to Have a Beer Before You Die. The list seems to be pretty thorough, although the top is heavily populate with Euro trash European establishments, the good ol’ U.S. of A. represents at the No. 1 spot with the Great American Beer Festival in Denver, Colo., and Monk’s Cafe in Philadelphia barely making the top 10 in the ninth spot.
There’s a handful of Northwest locations that make the list, the majority of which are in Oregon, with only Stumbling Monk representing for Seattle, which takes the No. 124th spot on the list. This is kind of sad, since I can immediately think of at least five places that will drink Stumbling Monk under the table - obviously the author has never been to Joey’s on a Friday night.
Here’s the complete list, take a gander and then throw down some suggestions for your favorites in the comments. Shout out to the Old Ebbitt Grill at the 121st place, which I visited last week in DC.
A couple of weeks ago Holy Taco put together a list of the 11 manliest cocktails in the world. We thought we would take it the other way and put together a list of the ten drinks you shouldn’t be caught dead with. Whether you are out with the boys or trying to scam on some ladies there is no excuse to be sipping anyone of these unmanly drinks.
Wine Spritzer - First off what the fuck is a spritzer? Secondly why would any man that has a pair be caught dead with one?
Apple-tini - If you are man and you are holding a martini glass the liquid inside better be clear or brown not neon fuck green. Basically you shouldn’t drink anything that has a “-tini” in the drink name. Apple-tini, Choco-tini, etc.
Blow Job Shot - This is a classic shot of choice for bachelorette parties and girls-night-out activities. If a man is caught taking one of these shots, it either means that he has lost a bet, gay, or in the process of a sex-change.
Vodka w/ Cranberry Juice - “It’s a natural diuretic. My girlfriend drinks it when she’s got her period. What, do you got your period?” –The Departed
Mike’s Hard Anything - There is nothing hard about any of these drinks, they are fruit flavored sugar bombs. Just because they sell them at sporting events doesn’t make them acceptable.
Apparently Bud Light has decided to jump into the lime beer game. Miller has been slanging their Miller Chill for the last six months and it must be doing well if Bud Light is going to get into the market space.
Corona has got to be pissed that they didn’t think of this first. Why would you go through the hassle of sticky fingers and handling sharp knives when you can get a Bud Light with the flavor already added? Although one could argue that Bud Light doesn’t taste like piss to begin with so the lime flavoring might be a little unnecessary.
Dammit I wish I could toss coasters like this little green bastard. Those are the kind of party trick skills that will get you laid and get you paid.
Some people like to put their jeans on one leg at a time but others like to put them on two legs at a time and add a back flip in just to score a few extra bonus points.
I really hope these guys are wearing a cup under their boxers because one misjudgment on the inseam and they are going to be in a world of hurt. Especially the guy that jumps off the swing and into the jeans. He is going into those things hot.
Click the image or hit the link below to check out the video.
For all of you that are under the legal drinking age of 21 let me pass on this little nugget of wisdom. If you a pissing along the side of the road and a cop stops to ask you what you are doing admitting that you “just drank a bunch of beers” is not the best response.
So, how does an under age kid dumb enough to admit that he just drank a bunch of beers totally redeem himself by busting out this excuse for his slurred speech?
“his dentist advised him his mouth was too big for his tongue,“
The kid really dicked up a gem of an excuse. That is one of the those excuses that sounds so ridiculous that it would probably work. He already copped to drinking the beers so there is no reason to try an justify the slurred speech. Now had he admitted to drinking a bunch of Gatorade and then dropped the dentist excuse he might have avoided getting arrested on suspicion of drinking under age.
Beer Review Friday. Each week a different Tasty Boozer is going to pick a beer, drink it (obviously) and then write a review about it. Hopefully we can introduce you to some new beers that you can add to your weekend getting-fucked-up repertoire.
Brewery description:
Boont Amber was the first ale produced at our famous Boonville brewery, and proudly carries the town’s Boontling* name. Boont Amber is a medium-bodied amber ale with a beautiful copper color, a robust head, and the rich flavor or caramel malt. Described as “an essay in balance,” Boont is the classic American-style Amber Ale. Noble and robust, yet smooth and mellow, Boont is delicious alone, or as the perfect accompaniment to any meal. It’s “Bahl Hornin’” (It’s good drinking).” (*- The local Anderson Valley dialect, developed in the late 1800’s.)
This description immediately sold me (although it was a lot of reading). I love amber ales and almost drink them exclusively when I want to enjoy my beer - with dinner or just a weeknight beverage. A bottle of Boont Amber Ale is just what the doctor ordered for last night. The clean and crisp ale isn’t overpowering or bitter, meaning there’s not bitter after-taste that you need to mask with food or just more beer.
From the Anderson Valley Brewing Company, there are two things on the bottle not included in the description to note. First, there’s a random “Gold Medal Winner” logo, although no descriptor, I believe this was well deserved and a legitimate award. Second, the beer is brewed with “pristine Boonville mineral water.” I think this is what might separate Boont from other ambers, allowing the true intended taste come through.
Boont Amber Ale comes in at 5.8% alcohol by volume, pretty standard for ambers. The brewery is located in Mendocino County, Calif., which is north of San Francisco. Anderson Valley Brewing Company has eight other beers, and distribution in more than 20 states across the country. To find a distributor near you, go here. Also, if you are in the area, check out the 12th Annual Boonville Beer Fest on May 10. If the other brews are to the quality of the Boont Amber Ale, it’s going to be well worth the trip.
If I were to see this guy on the street I would most likely think he were some big ass nerd. I mean the messy small-child-esque hair , the Potter glasses, the IT department watch, this guy just screams of mapping some genome.
But, if I were to see this dork in this kitchen, on this night, doing this beautiful thing, I would have to salute him. In fact, just knowing this geek has done this glorious act at some point in his life makes me tip my hat from where I sit currently. You go dweeb. You get my props.
I cannot accomplish that spectacular feat, but you’d better believe I will die trying. Dorks are always the trailblazers, now I must follow.
So you are about to take a trip but you don’t know how much money to bring because you have no idea how much a beer is going to cost once you reach your destination. No worries, because PintPrice.com is a website devoted to finding the price of pint the world over. The site encourages users to submit their location and how much they just paid for a pint of suds. The site then uses this data to find the average price of a beer in any country.
For instance if you are looking for the most bang for your buck a quick trip to Congo DR will score you $0.20 pints. That means I could get good and shit faced for about $3 total. That is less than one pint in Seattle. Or if you are planning to make it rain in the casinos of Monaco be prepared to part with $15 for a single pint of beer. Fuck, in Vegas I generally try to win enough to cover my hotel room. In Monaco I would have to win a shit ton of $5 blackjack hands just to cover the bar tab.
While the site is organized by country users that enter a price can enter the name of the city they are drinking in. So if you choose the U.S. you will find a price listed for just about every major city. This is helpful because it allows you to figure out how many meals you will have to skip in order to get all your beers covered on the company expense report.
