When it rains it pours. Check out this A-1 douche that was captured by a Tasty Booze reader rolling around Bellevue, WA with a plate that reads “NOTGLTY”. Is this just a general declaration or is he celebrating a specific court victory. You could guess that maybe he is a kick ass defense attorney but if he was he probably wouldn’t be rolling in a mid 90s suburban. This plate might be the biggest cop magnet yet. If I was a law dog I would pull him over just to ask what he wasn’t guilty of. With a plate like that you can bet that 6 out of 10 times the SOB is going to be guilty of something.
These dipshits and their license plates continue to baffle me. Not only that they are dumb enough to request them, but the fact that the DMV is dumb enough to let them be made. First it was Ana with her Lexus and then some ass clown begging for a DUI decided to roll around town with BEER on his plate. Now we have this guy, the “BIG GIZ”. Is he trying to convey that he is really into gizmos and gadgets? This didn’t raise a red flag with the owner, the DMV, maybe a significant other? Not one person realized this was a bad idea?
Maybe I am attacking this from the wrong angle. Maybe this guy got exactly what he wanted. Maybe he blows a big load and he just wanted to let the world know about his gift. Maybe the “G” was the stroke of genius that allowed this plate to slide past the folks at the DMV and complete his master plan. If that’s the case then my hat is off to you good sir, bravo!
As a resident of Ohio, Bill Brasky, is probably the better person to post this photo, but he’s probably passed the stage of function motor skills at this point. If only someone would have taken this photo as the car went through one of the many drive-thru liquor stores…as I’m pretty sure this guy won’t be sharing the road with bikes on his way home.
It may start with a couple of dudes skating in a park, but then you her a douchebag in his Mercedes almost hit an old lady crossing the street. Sure she’s on her last legs and probably sleeping while standing up, but have a little patience dude. I’m sure we’ve all been slowed down by the elderly in our lives, no reason to blast your horn repeatedly at this sweet old lady though. This guy gets my vote for Douchebag of the Week.
I’m all for a good prank on a friend, but slamming on the breaks when your friend is riding on the top of your car is not a good prank. That’s the kind of prank that could see you in prison for a little manslaughter. On a funny note, this guy didn’t get killed, or even fly off the car, but he put a hell of a dent in the roof. That’s what you get, funny man, a roof dent.
A few weeks ago we posted about a Batmobile for sale and now it looks like a genuine KITT is up on the auction block. This 1984 Pontiac TransAm was originally used in the third season of the show before it was converted into the “Super Pursuit Mode” KITT that debuted in the fourth season. I can vaguely remember Michael Knight hitting the pursuit mode button and watching the montage as all the panels swung out. That was probably the coolest thing I had ever seen on TV until I was introduced to Skinemax.
How much is this kick ass piece of TV history going to set you back? Well with 23 hours left in the auction it is sitting at a cool 31K and change. That’s a bargain for an awesome piece of 80’s TV history.
Hit the link to the auction below for the full set of pictures.
Dumb: Trying to drive a car with a cinder block seat. Dumber: Trying to drive a car with a cinder block seat and no brake pedal . Dumbest: Getting out and pushing on the back of the piece-of-shit car to stop it. Dumbass of the Week: Getting pinned between said piece-of-shit car and a tree.
God forbid the cherry ride get a dent in the bumper.
A 51 year old woman from Hilton Head Island, SC managed to pulled off this act of genius. Apparently driving a car with a cinder block seat is just standard operating procedure for her. The deputies who arrived at the scene said that the car was completely empty inside except for the cinder block and I am guessing the steering wheel.
Moving past the cinder block, how the fuck do you not notice that the car is missing a brake pedal? Maybe I am overly cautious but the first thing I do when I get into a car is put my foot on the break pedal. I would sort of notice if it was missing.
You might be going to prison if you drive drunk while under the influence cocaine and then proceed to fall asleep behind the wheel and plow into a group of bicyclists while a photographer happens to capture the exact moment of impact and spray the image into the cyber-universe.
“Just 15 minutes in, the third annual Matamoros-Bagdad Cycling Tour in Mexico plunged into chaos when a drunk driver from Texas smashed head-on into the group of riders. 30-year-old Brownsville cyclist Alejandro Alvarez was killed in the accident, while ten other riders were seriously injured.”
This is one of the most fucked up pictures I have ever seen and it will generously contribute to the positive image of America on an international scope.
The asshole is not only in prison, but a Mexican ‘no-condom-no-problem’ prison. AYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!
I came across this douche rocket at the Costco near my office.
Missing front bumper? Check.
Every body panel a different color? Check.
Muffler that sounds like a weed eater? Check.
Ridiculously large aqua colored spoiler? Check.
However, the pièce de résistance was definitely his license plate frame. The camera on my Blackberry Curve couldn’t capture the text (insert FrankTheTank iPhone joke here) but I made sure to write it down.
Yes it is fast and no you can’t drive it
News flash chief. It doesn’t matter how much bullshit you bolt to it nobody wants to drive your shitty early nineties Prelude. At least wait until all of the pieces to the shitty ground effects kit are bolted on and the whole car is one color before you add the douche rocket license plate frame. Even then that doesn’t excuse that ridiculous fucking spoiler.
Then you better fire up your PDA or cell phone and download Trapster ASAP. Trapster allows users to report in real time the location of speed traps or speed cameras in their area. Sort of like Twitter but without all the human genitalia jokes. It looks pretty sick in the live demo (below). If you are cruising down the block in your six-four and notice the local fuzz camped out behind some bushes you simply press #1 on your phone and a real time update is sent to Trapster. Now the next Trapster user that rolls into the area will get an SMS alert along with an audio notification that the 5-0 is in the vicinity.
Ford has decided to add a little cooler to their Flex model automobile, making Ford the official car for DUIs. The cooler is legit, give it two-and-a-half hours and the cooler can bring a can of beer soda to a chilling 41 degrees. If you are trying to freeze stuff, the cooler has an option to bring the contents of the cooler down to a freezing temperature of 23 degrees. And if you really want to be inefficient, keep the top of the cooler popped and use it instead of the AC to cool the entire car!
At add this option to your Ford Flex it’ll cost you $760, or the price of one soft-sided cooler and about 300 bags of ice.
My experience with in-car cooling devices is limited to our family’s old Toyota minivan, the 1989 model (which most closely reassembles a cardboard box on wheels) had a sweet cooler/freezer/ice-maker in the front console. However, after a handful of failed attempts at making ice, the “cooler” turned into a tape cassette compartment. I see a similiar future in sight for those who add this option to their new Ford Flex.
That is a 2002 BMW M3 coupe. I could list all the specs and accessories that the chucklehead selling it has bolted on but we don’t sell cars here at Tasty Booze so we will skip that bullshit and get right to the good part of the ad.
This car has gotten me laid so much it is ridiculous. I would like pull up to a pimp club in Scottsdale and the valet would crap his pants, but I wouldn’t let him park it. I just leave it up front and make sure all the ladies saw me get out. I’m also totally ripped so that helps too. I inject myself with pure bull shark testosterone and lift 4 hours a day. My diet also consists of 24 egg whites a day. I’ve got a killer 6 pack and some delts that you would not believe. I only hook up with 9s and 10s. Never less because I’m a winner! I’m not saying this car will do the same for you but it’s a start. If you’re interested in taking the first step to becoming a true Jedi Pimp email me at conner.john2@gmail.com. I’ll probably be working out so I’ll get back to you as soon as I finish my protein shake (and probably hooking up with a hot chick).
I would be willing to bet this guy looks exactly like Joey Porsche but with about 30 lbs of extra muscle. I searched both MySpace and Facebook hoping to find a profile associated to the email address given in the ad but I came up empty.
The good news is that CapitalOne would love to finance my quest to become a “Jedi-Pimp” the bad news is that I have no idea how I would get the jedi-pimp-mobile from AZ to WA.
Zach Schreiber, 21, is in jail after trying to defend his love of Mariah Carey’s music. Schreiber was stopped at an intersection bumping some MC when another car carrying William Greenman, 22, stopped along side him. Apparently Greenman is not a Mariah fan (he’s probably upset about the fact she was recently taken off the market) and started shouting “profanities” at Schreiber to let him know how he felt. The two cars continued to the next intersection where Greenman continued to let Schreiber know how he felt about Mimi.
At this point Schreiber felt that he needed to take the matter of defending Mariah’s honor into his own hands and he winged at beer bottle at Greenman’s melon. Greenman was quick enough to duck but not quick enough to warn the driver, a girl that I am guessing is a Mariah fan, who was hit with the bottle.
Schreiber ended up being charged with “shooting a missile into a vehicle and criminal mischief.“
I feel bad for Schreiber because he was obviously provoked but why the hell was he driving down the street blasting Mariah Carey? If you are a dude, rolling solo and you are blasting MC you are begging for trouble. The only time that is remotely acceptable is if there are two or more girls in the car.
Either way both of these ass clowns are a couple of toolboxes. Greenman was probably upset because Schreiber was blasting Touch My Body and Greenman prefers Mariah’s pre-P. Diddy catalog.
The big oil companies aren’t the only SOBs swimming around in cash Scrooge McDuck style with the $4 gas prices. That is a diamond encrusted SL600, son. Base price from Mercedes is about 137K but when you coat it in glue and roll it around in diamonds the price jumps up a little to about $4.8 million. Reportedly you have to pay $1000 just to touch the thing. The car belongs to Saudi Prince Al-Waleed and apparently it is his 38th car.
