Screw you, Michael Bay. Somehow you’ve managed to take this iconic franchise and turn it into a two-and-a-half hour shit show called Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, which you also managed to make borderline racist, sexist and nationalistic. Bravo.

At times, Transformers is just awful. Any attempt at building a story line surrounding Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) is utterly painful, the over-the-top slapstick dialogue belongs on ABC Family, not in a movie about robots fucking shit up. And Tyrese Gibson should not be allowed to act anymore, every scene that he was in featured one horrendous one-liners (which were usually just one word) after another.

Michael Bay did do one thing right: Megan Fox. Sweeping camera shots, low-cut tops for intense “Baywatch” style running scenes, and making sure she didn’t get too covered in dirt from surrounding explosions. Also, just limiting her “acting”, since we all know that’s not what we paid for.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is your typical big-budget summer blockbuster. Filled with cool special effects, lots of explosions and not much acting, for all that’s bad about the movie, it is entertaining and worth the price of admission. You may feel guilty at the end for liking it, but that’s okay, that’s what summer is all about; spending money on pointless shit and enjoying it while it lasts!

Without them, we wouldn’t have this alleged picture of Katy Perry eating pizza in the bathtub. Well, obviously there’s a third person we need to thank, whoever is taking this photograph, and whoever that person is, I want to kick the shit out of them and take their place.

Also, pizza in the tub? Really? I mean I’ve been known to enjoy a cold beer while I bath before, but a full meal? I guess you should do whatever makes you happy.

Original Post: Celebslam and Katy Perry’s Twatter Twitter

This video of Zachary Quinto, of Star Trek and “Heroes”, is starting to make the rounds on the Internet. There really isn’t anything special about this video, except for how odd it is. The paparazzi are capturing Quinto walking his dog down the street, followed by two “friends.” His friends happen to be dressed up as a piece of meat and a butcher. At first, I don’t know what to assume, only that this is probably taking place in L.A./Hollywood, and anything is possible. Then Quinto’s dog gets excited and tried to run away, pulling Quinto to the ground. The best part is when the piece of meat gets stuck in between the lamp post and the shrubbery. I’m sorry, I don’t know why this is funny to me, but it is.

With “The Hills” off the air for the summer, its stars need to start finding another source of income. Well, Audrina Patridge has decided to use her body to get paid…unfortunately, she is not doing porn. Instead, she’s gone the Paris Hilton route and is starring in a new commercial for the Carl’s Jr. Teriyaki Burger. I would imagine that this is her favorite burger as it’s probably the first and last burger she has ever eaten.

Zach Galifianakis interviews Jon Hamm in the newest episode of “Between Two Ferns.”

Zach: “I understand that you won a Golden Globe Award.”
John: “I did.”
Zach: “Mark that under “who gives a shit”.”

I can’t say that I’m surprised that Marion Cotillard pulled out this win but when I posted the poll last week I really didn’t know which way it was going to go. Marion Cotillard, the French born actress, managed to pull out the win with only 42% of the overall vote. In 2008 Marion won an Oscar for best performance for an actress in a leading role for the 2007 film La môme.

Shatner appeared on Conan and really hit the trifecta by miming masturbation, revealing he can’t do the Spock “live long and prosper” thing and then giving Conan the bird to wrap it all up.

The next season of HBO’s “Entourage” doesn’t start until July 12, but if you want a preview of what every episode is going to be like, just watch this video. As much as I like the show, this video is on point.

Yesterday it was Megan Fox bra-less in Germany and today it’s Megan Fox in black in London. I wish that all the movies that feature Megan Fox had a ridiculous marketing budget to host premieres across the globe. It’s essentially just an excuse to have Megan Fox get dressed up and have her picture taken, hell, you probably don’t even need to screen the film. “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” will be in movie theaters across the country next Wednesday, June 24. Not sure if I’ll be able to catch this on opening night, but I’ll at least make an effort to see it during the opening weekend.

The Superficial has an impressive gallery from the event.

The past couple of weeks Megan Fox has been traveling the globe for the premieres of the next “Transformers” movie, “Revenge of the Fallen.” That means, she takes the opportunity to dress up ridiculous hot and make every other country jealous that she resides in the U.S.A. Still, we’re not proud that she’s decided to associate herself with Brian Austin Green at times, but we’ll take what we can get. I guess Megan Fox had some against Germany, where she decided to wear this number…also it looks like it was colder than expected.

More pics at Hit Fix.

Zack Morris showed up on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon to promote his new show “Raising The Bar.” Not only did he bust out his brick phone but he teamed up with The Roots to recreate a little “Zack Attack” music magic.

Well it looks like Britney finally got topless for us.  Thanks to The Superficial for the find.  I spent a good number of years in love with Brit, but at this point I don’t really even care about these blurry photos.  She doesn’t look that bad, but has crazy fake tattoos covering her nipples and is just too far off the crazy train for me to find her hot anymore.

Apparently the nakedness occured in 2007 while Britney was filming her Gimme More video.  I don’t think I ever heard that song, and was not aware there was a video, but I guess she was doing her usual ‘i’m a wacko’ routine during the taping.  And if you are thinking fake, fake, fake, you might be right.  But The Superficial makes a good point…

When I first saw these topless photos of Britney Spears that just leaked online, my immediate reaction was “FAKE.” But then I realized they’re outtakes from the set of her 2007 video “Gimme More,” and back then, she would’ve traded Sean and Jayden for a Chalupa and two Marlboro Reds.

Well put, well put.

Source for all the nakedness you want: The Superficial

Jimmy Kimmel is tired of his late night talk show and is looking for a career change, luckily Eminem came around to help him fine tune his rapping skills. Sherman Oaks represent!

According to TMZ Heidi and Spencer walked off the set of NBC’s shitty new jungle reality show “I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here.” First of all I would say that these two chuckleheads should have never been there in the first place. Neither one of them is a “celebrity” unless you count having your boob job covered by the tabliods and being the world’s biggest assclown.

So here is my question to NBC: What’s it going to take to leave Mr. and Mrs. Douchebag out in the fucking jungle? Seriously just land the plane on a remote strip for “mechanical reasons” and while these two idiots climb out for a piss break take the fuck off. You’d be doing the rest of humanity a favor. Nobody is going to miss these two chuckleheads. If it’s a money issue I’m will put some cash on it. How much do you need? I’ll put down $100 and I’m sure with a little #leaveheidiandspencerinthejungle hash tag action on Twitter when can pull together a few grand.

These two are somewhere between the D and G range on the celebrity status list which means shitty reality TV is what you do. That’s how you earn your undeserved celebrity stripes. Everyone on the Duel II knows that and that’s why 37 year old Mark is still competing in challenges. These two are obviously to stupid to figure that out so let’s just leave them out in the jungle and free up some more tabliod room for John and Kate.

Earlier this week, Mr. T had the honor of singing “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” at a Cubs/Pirates game at Wrigley Field in Chicago. The tradition of having celebrities and “celebrities” sing the song has produced some memorable renditions of the classic. Mr. T’s version would have to be one of my favorites. “I pity ‘dem Pirates! Arg!”