I didn’t even realize that the roundhouse kick was a common move that was used outside of action films involving Chuck Norris, but this guy has it down. He’s even good enough to hit the part of the head that doesn’t have any protection. Damn.

This video is definitely an instant classic. I wish more offices were this fun, I mean everything is more fun with Nerf. The closest I’ve ever been to an “Office War” is the occasional paper ball tossed over the cube wall or drive-by rubberband shooting. This seems fitting for a Friday as well.

Here’s The Great Office War from Break.com:

We’ve all done the fist bump. Maybe your team just scored, maybe you just bowled a strike, maybe you just won a rap battle. These are all acceptable times to bump fists with a friend. The picture on the right, however, illustrates a time where it is definitely NOT okay to bump fists.

In case you’re wondering, these guys were celebrating the completion of a deal that brought a 42-mile rail corridor into public ownership.

Yeah, I know. That’s fucking boring. Look, if the fist bump is brought into areas where it clearly does not belong, where does it end? Will Obama get a fist bump from Bill Clinton right after he’s sworn in? Will we, someday soon, see a surgeon give a tearful wife a bump after successfully removing her husband’s brain tumor? Are you gonna fist bump your buddy after he sucks the rattlesnake venom out of your inner thigh?

So in an effort to help you out, we here at TastyBooze have devised a simple set of rules to aid you in appropriate fist bumping.

1. If sports are involved, fist bumping is always acceptable.
2. If you are wearing a suit, you may only fist bump if you are drunk. Or if you have just wrapped part of your suit around your forehead.
3. You may not fist bump under any circumstances, in a hospital. Unless Rule #1 (or Rule #2) applies.
4. Do not fist bump someone else’s misfortune, even if it helps you. Just look down, furrow your brow, and nod sternly.
5. No fist bumping between the hours of 7am and 10am. And if you’re watching sports at this time, it’s probably soccer or NASCAR, and then you should really not be fist bumping. High fives will suffice for both.
6. Do not fist bump in a meeting. Even if you are drunk.
7. Do not fist bump your children. Unless you’re drunk, then it’s OK.
8. Girls can fist bump anytime they want. And yes, guys think it’s cute.
9. Do not refuse a fist bump. If you, as a bumpee, believe the bumper is violating a rule, speak to him afterwards. Refusing his bump is not going to help anything.
10. Do not fist bump yourself.

Happy fist bumping, kids! And if any of you have any photographic examples of bad fist bumps, send them to us, and we will make it known!

A bear was walking across a huge bridge near Lake Tahoe a couple days ago, when a car startled him and caused him to fall off the bridge.

But don’t fret. Check out Papa Bear in the pic there, he caught the ledge all Bruce Willis-like, dangled for a minute or so, then pulled himself up onto a ledge. I know Chuck Norris could have pulled that off, but no other human living or dead would have had a prayer. (Then again, Chuck Norris wouldn’t have been startled by a car, the car would have been startled by him)

Anyway, unable to get back up or go anywhere else, the bear did what bears do, he laid down and went to sleep.

The next day, authorities rigged up a net, tranquilized the bear, and lowered him down to safety. The bear promptly stood up, shook his head, and stumbled off groggily (right past a cameraman) back to his natural habitat.

The net was nice of the people involved, but I’m pretty sure the bear would have figured out a way out of it. Bears know how to take care of their business.

See all the pics here: linkinn

I heard this on NPR and I just had to tell you guys about it.

It seems that the Houston Symphony Orchestra is trying a new, hip marketing campaign to raise publicity and interest. Their great idea? Trading cards for their orchestra members. Like baseball cards, the orchestra cards will have stats about the performers, as well as a picture, and a signature.

So how is this Germany’s fault? Well, not surprisingly, it was their idea in the first place. The German record company, Deutsche Grammophon, created a series of trading cards for classical music’s greatest stars a few years back. I mean, it was a miserable failure, but why let that stop you from adopting it here in the U.S.? Everything ridiculous can be traced back to Germany!!

The best part of the NPR report was a guy claiming that eventually, if more orchestras around the U.S. began making trading cards, people could eventually play “fantasy orchestra”, the same way we play fantasy baseball or football.

Are. You. Fucking. Kidding? How would you play? If someone moves from second viola to first, you get a point? You could play for 4 years, and the score would be 3-1-0-0-0 in a 5 person league. Jesus christ, did no one even EXPLAIN to him what fantasy sports are, before he had an interview with NPR? Sigh…

If you want to listen: NPR

These goddamn things just made my morning.

Developed by Chuck Norris for stunt fighting in action movies. These great looking western style jeans have a unique hidden gusset which allows greater movement without binding or ripping.

Plus they have lifetime guarantee. I checked out Century Martial Arts Products web site and it doesn’t look like they carry these bad boys anymore. Hopefully Google and Ebay can come to my rescue and help me find a pair.

Click the thumbnail for Chuck Norris size.

The premise is simple, in 2003 NBC merged with Universal and as a result Conan O’Brien is allowed to pull a lever and show Walker Texas Ranger clips anytime he wants. A match in comedy heaven.

While it is no Bauer Power this is still a pretty sweet ass t-shirt.

I Kick it With Chuck Norris

Napoleon Dynamite: You know, there’s like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I’m pretty good with a bo staff.

I would definitely want this kid in my gang. The announcers keep calling him Wayne but I think that might be Chuck Norris in an 8 year old sized body.

About six months ago there was a “Chuck Norris Facts” craze that swept the internet. Even though they may be old and I have read most of them two or three times they still make me laugh my ass off. Today checking out the World Comabt League website I came across a link to chucknorrisfacts.com. This isn’t just another rip off site with a list of Chuck facts. This site has the top 10 list of Chuck Norris facts as picked by Chuck himself. That pretty much makes it the definitive source, meaning much like Chuck, it is not to be fucked with.

At the risk of being roundhoused myself I will say that he left off a few of my favorites but overall it is a pretty good list.