For those of us that live here in Washington state the Apple Cup is approaching and this year it’s looking like a real doozy. There is nothing like watching two rivals duke it out for last place in the Pac-10.

For anyone unfamiliar with the Apple Cup it’s the big rivalry football game between the University of Washington Huskies and my own Washington State Cougars. While it might not get the national media coverage for those of us that attended one of the two schools the rivalry is along the lines of Michigan v. Ohio State, Texas v. Oklahoma, Auburn v. Alabama, Florida v. Georgia, etc.

So for this season the Huskies have posted a stellar record of 0-6 and they have to face Notre Dame next week so I think we can safely chalk up 0-7. In all fairness my own Cougars haven’t exactly been lighting the world on fire. They’ve posted a 1-8 record and have allowed 4 teams to score 60-plus points. This last Saturday USC played their second and third string players the entire second half and the Cougars couldn’t even get a fucking field goal.

I think it’s time for both sides to put aside their differences and embrace the shittiness of our teams. In that spirit a friend of a friend designed this potential Apple Cup shirt and it was just to good not to post. I think we need to get a batch of these made up. Who’s in?

Thanks to Thompson for letting us post his design.

Terrorists come in all types.  But nothing is as scary as an attractive older woman with a child….

If you are a top college athlete make sure that you don’t take any extra money from boosters, or your ass will be booted out of school faster than you can molest a coed at a frat party. Now, if you need a little extra help on test day, from say, an illegal copy of a test. Now, that is understandable. School is hard, and while we are going to get slap on the wrist, and suspended a game or two, your scholarship is safe. This seems to be the tacit message the NCAA is sending to athletes theses days.

In two recent extreme cases of NCAA violations, one involving academic fraud on an epidemic level and one involving illegal recruiting, the NCAA seems to care about dollars more than education. First, we have Florida State. Over sixty players were involved in a case of academic fraud that attracted marginal attention from the NCAA, and will likely not have long term implications on either the football program or the athletic department. In fact, FSU selectively decided when to suspend players, and did so in a way that would have the least impact on the program.

Secondly, Indiana coach Kelvin Sampson violates some minor and recruiting violations and is soundly criticized by the NCAA and the media, resulting in almost immediate firing during a promising season.

One wonders if this case analysis is a microcosm for the greater dealings of the NCAA. Is academic fraud a back page story, while recruiting violations are front page news? What’s more important for the NCAA, programs that develop strong student athletes, or making sure competitive balance in recruiting ensures increased revenue?

Original story from The Higher Ed Watch Blog

Man, did the 80’s suck…This video is long, but it’s so ridiculous it’s worth it. This video makes me want to try drugs just because I think if I were stoned I might pee my pants laughing. This woman is the most conceited piece of trash on god’s green earth.

There are so many great parts, but my favorite is at the end, where she is clearly having trouble reading the cue cards. “In the daytime I’ll use a blue…eyeliner pen or sometimes…I’ll use a green…pencil.”

Part Two is here if you’re interested in seeing more of this crazy bitch.

Also, she did a Nazi salute in a Hawaiian court and went to jail. I couldn’t make this shit up! Just google Brenda Dickson, you’ll see.

I enjoyed the awesomeness that is tailgating at this kick ass RV many times myself. Sure other people may bring beer, maybe even a keg but I can guarantee you are going to the only person in the lot with an external keg for easy access to that keg of delicious brew. You will be the talk of the tailgate lot as people walk by and say, “Wait….Is that a beer tap on the side?”

Looking for the ultimate in tailgating / outdoor recreation experiences? Look no further. This 20′ Dodge Open Road is a one of a kind. Customized interior paint, carpet, and window trimmings “tactfully” done in crimson and gray is only the beginning.

The pictures attached are before most improvements were made. The paint on the interior and exterior has been touched up. The final picture is the type of John Husky you will likely encounter trying to mooch free beer at Apple Cup.

Craigslist Posting

What you say? Boggs strike? That is correct. I am taking a stand against Miller and letting them know their latest attempt at marketing has rubbed me the wrong way.

If you don’t live in Seattle, then you don’t know about Miller’s sponsorship of UW Husky football. I for one refuse to drink a beer that is packaged in purple and gold, but it hurts to have go pick out an 18 pack of the competition, especially after so many great times with Miller Delites. So, in attempt to get things back on track for Miller up here in the Pacific NW, I wrote them a little feedback. Below are my comments, followed by their response (or lack thereof):

This may seem a little petty, but I like Miller Lite and I want you to succeed, so I thought I should give a piece of advice from a consumer. I recently have heard advertisements for Miller Lite as the official beer of the University of Washington Huskies. I have also seen 18 packs with Husky logos on them. I understand the thinking, but you should know that there is a large contingent of Washington State Cougars living in the Seattle area. Cougars and Huskies don’t get along very well. So when a Cougar sees/hears Miller Lite as the official beer of UW Football, the first reaction is to stop drinking Miller Lite. Whereas, a Husky probably wouldn’t change his/her preference due to any sort of sponsorship. And the reality is, Cougars drink a lot more than Huskies (this is fact, it has been statistically proven). My reason for writing this is not to have you jump ships and sponser Cougar Football (although that would be glorious). I only wish you to stop promoting Husky Football so that I can get back to drinking Miller Lites (aka Miller Delites, aka Boggs’). If you want to see some dedication to your brand, check out http://tastybooze.com/2007/04/the-origin-of-boggs/. This one article has logged over 100,000 hits and is linked through wikipedia and espn. Go on, read it. About two years ago we made the switch from the site stating “Where the Anheuser’s are Always Cold.” Search Boggs or Miller Lite on the search side, you will see the dedication. So, all that being said, why don’t you go ahead and drop this campaign so that you don’t have to divide Miller Lite drinkers. Thanks for listening and let me know when I can go back to my normal drinking habits.

And the response for Miller?

Thank you for contacting the Miller Brewing Company. We are glad to hear you enjoy our product Miller Lite. Consumers like yourself have helped to make us one of America’s leading breweries. We always appreciate receiving both positive and negative feedback from our consumers. Please rest assured all of your comments will be forwarded to the appropriate department.

Miller Brewing Company Consumer Affairs Department
Ref: Case#N20063671

Weak. You appreciate my interest in your company?!?! How bout my thousands of dollars I have spent on you. Not to mention some serious viral marketing that has been happening for a couple years. This is more than just an interest brother, it is a way of life. So I say get with the program Miller. Know your target audience and thank your faithful drinkers. I think my loyalty deserves more than a Dear John response.

So for now, I am on a Boggs strike. I encourage others of you disturbed by this new packaging with a strange looking dog on it to stray to the Anheuser. Who’s coming with me?!?!

That is right folks tomorrow at 12:30 p.m. (PDT) the Washington State Cougars will kickoff their season against the Wisconsin Badgers on ABC. National TV bitch! I am so excited I could crap myself. There is nothing like cracking that first beer of another glorious Cougar football season. Although I won’t be their in person a 60″ HDTV should suffice nicely. Now I just need to find a few fellow Cougars to enjoy this occasion with. Normally this wouldn’t be a problem but I have to travel out of town this weekend to attend a wedding. Maybe I can recruit J Diggles, as he is attending the same wedding, but I have a feeling he will be sunning himself by the pool instead of enjoying the awesomeness that is the Cougs. No worries though. I will be cracking a boggs at about 12:15 p.m. (PDT) because when the Cougs are on you are never drinking alone.

Only the University of Washington Huskies would try to pull some bullshit like this. I don’t think there is a bigger group of charlatans in all of collegiate sports.

First they invented the “Northwest Championship” title back in ‘02 to feel better about their shit season and now they are claiming that a 47 year old National Championship actually belongs to them despite the fact a different team was voted #1.

When discussing this with Hank he had this to say about the Huskies logic “That’s like getting a handjob on prom and then telling everyone you lost your virginity at 17 because you busted a nut.”

UW decides to elevate ‘forgotten’ football team alongside 1991 national champions

Oh you poor bastard Huskies. First you get your asses handed to you in a school pride poll posted on your own alumni website. Today we found out that not only did your basketball team miss the big dance but to now you have been snubbed by the NIT. Time to pack it up and take it home.

Despite all of this I really don’t feel that bad for you. I am sure you have already concocted many elaborate excuses to make yourselves feel better about the situation. Like the “Northwest Championship” titled you invented in 2002 to feel better about your football teams 4-5 record.

Enjoy the off season. It will give you some extra time to spit shine those sweet lavender Nikes.

Huskies shocked by NIT snub

After Lexington posted the link to the Huskies Alumni pride poll yesterday the Cougars surged and are currently beating the Huskies with 70% of the votes. A non-Husky but UW sympathizer sent me a link to this article that was published in the Seattle Times today about the trouncing.

Huskies getting trounced — in their own poll

In typical Husky fashion they are already backtracking on their promise to publish the results of the poll in their alumni magazine.

“UW alumni, meanwhile, are downplaying the poll results. Despite a note on the alumni Web site that promises to report the final results in the alumni magazine Columns, the association now says it might not print numeric results, but rather more of a “qualitative” analysis.”

Here is link in case you haven’t voted. Alumni Pride Poll

OK, this is too funny. Given the fact that the Cougs routinely outshine the Dawgs when it comes to alumni participation, I guess the Dawgs figured they could finally beat us by creating a poll about pride on their alumni web site. Think again! Make sure you pass this link along to all your Cougar friends.

http://www.washington.edu/alumni/survey/

I think that the self checkout line has to be the single greatest invention introduced to grocery stores in my life time.

For those of you who live in bumfuck nowhere and don’t know what I am referring to I will explain. The self checkout line is generally limited to 15 items or less and each station is equipped with a scale, scanner and touchscreen. The bastards thought of everything and it even has one of those little books so that you can look up codes for produce.

Why is it so great you ask? Because I can walk up to the self check out station with a basket of 15 items and be out of the store 3 minutes later. I shit you not. If they had a contest for who could self check out the fastest 1st prize would be going home with me.

Despite its greatness there is an Achilles heel, a chink in the armor if you will. That Achilles heel is people. There is nothing worse then getting to the self checkout line and finding a person who looks like they are trying to assemble a nuclear bomb without directions.

This is where the aptitude test comes in. Just install a small kiosk before the self checkout lines with a similar touchscreen. Each person wanting to self checkout must pass the aptitude test before proceeding to a self checkout station. If you can’t pass the test, no worries, simply move over and use the standard express line manned by the guy you can tell is creepy but you aren’t sure why.

This way the rest of us self checkout badasses can check ourselves out and go on about our day without having to watch you make a chump out of yourself. Then one day after some practice when you pass the aptitude test you can join us in self checkout greatness.

On Friday the man who designed the greatest University logo of all time passed away in Spokane, WA. Randall Johnson designed the now famous Washington State University logo in 1937 while he was a Junior at the University. In 1959 Johnson displayed his high level of honor by selling the copyright for the logo to the University for a framed 1 dollar bill.

Creator of WSU Cougar logo dies at 91