How much toilet paper does it take to put out a fire crotch?

See more awkwardness at freshyill’s flickr.

If you are a top college athlete make sure that you don’t take any extra money from boosters, or your ass will be booted out of school faster than you can molest a coed at a frat party. Now, if you need a little extra help on test day, from say, an illegal copy of a test. Now, that is understandable. School is hard, and while we are going to get slap on the wrist, and suspended a game or two, your scholarship is safe. This seems to be the tacit message the NCAA is sending to athletes theses days.

In two recent extreme cases of NCAA violations, one involving academic fraud on an epidemic level and one involving illegal recruiting, the NCAA seems to care about dollars more than education. First, we have Florida State. Over sixty players were involved in a case of academic fraud that attracted marginal attention from the NCAA, and will likely not have long term implications on either the football program or the athletic department. In fact, FSU selectively decided when to suspend players, and did so in a way that would have the least impact on the program.

Secondly, Indiana coach Kelvin Sampson violates some minor and recruiting violations and is soundly criticized by the NCAA and the media, resulting in almost immediate firing during a promising season.

One wonders if this case analysis is a microcosm for the greater dealings of the NCAA. Is academic fraud a back page story, while recruiting violations are front page news? What’s more important for the NCAA, programs that develop strong student athletes, or making sure competitive balance in recruiting ensures increased revenue?

Original story from The Higher Ed Watch Blog

Last night Dane Cook broke a comedy record. You’re probably thinking it has something to do with his latest movie release - maybe it was the first movie pulled from the theaters before making it into the theaters. Or instead of going straight to DVD, the movie is actually going to premiere on FX tonight.

Unfortunately, not. Dane Cook broke an endurance record for comedy (yeah, you read that right) at the Laugh Factory in Los Angeles. He told jokes for 7 hours! Talk about cruel and unusual punishment for the audience. Listening to a five-minute set makes me want to rip out my eardrums.

So why is Cook an asshole? Because the record he broke is that of Dave Chappelle, who performed for 6 hours and 12 minutes in December - breaking the record he currently held. Before that the record of 2 hours and 41 minutes by Richard Pryor had been in place for more than 25 years!

I know Dane Cook was hot shit for a while. So much so, he has been able to make the transition to movies. But I never liked the guy, he just didn’t cut it. Maybe he did better with women… either way he is terrible and I hate him for beating Dave Chapelle. I guess the one good thing is this: People will get to see Chappelle reclaim the record with a set longer than 7 hours! Because there is no way Chappelle is going to let this dickface hold the record.

Full story here on Yahoo!

How do you feel about Dane Cook? Funny or not funny? I listen to his stand-up albums on my iPod and I laugh my ass off. But more and more I hear or read other people just tearing him down and commenting he isn’t funny. Case in point is this article on MSNBC titled Big fame, little talent. The article has the comments/opinions of a bunch of people in the entertainment industry who didn’t have the balls to include their names to back up their remarks.

Dane Cook is starring in a new movie. Again. Not letting the fact that he’s not the slightest bit funny get in the way of his career as a comedian, Cook moved on to stinking up multiplexes across the nation with “Employee of the Month” and “Mr. Brooks,” and now he’s back with “Good Luck Chuck” and, before year’s end, “Dan in Real Life.” If you’ve ever watched Cook do stand-up or host “Saturday Night Live,” it’s apparent that his only real talent is in accruing MySpace friends and stating the obvious while making goofy faces.

And yet, somehow, he’s a movie star. But it shouldn’t really be all that surprising.

Didn’t a guy name Seinfeld build an entire career making jokes about the obvious things in everyday life? Don’t get me wrong I like the guy but he is no Seinfeld. Most people get on him because he doesn’t actually tell jokes and that is true. If you listen to his routine there is no punchline. He just tells a series of stories which I happen to think are pretty funny. I mean the guy managed to sell out Madison Square Garden which means at least 20,000 people must like him. In fact I remember reading that several thousand dollars where budgeted to promote his MSG show but it sold out before they had spent a dime on advertising. That my friends is the power of MySpace but 20,000 people aren’t going to show up to watch a guy who isn’t funny.

Leave a comment and let me know what you think of the bastard.

I can’t wait to read Mr. Wonka’s paragraph long opinion. Let the debate begin.

I am going to leave the description of this one up to the great Dane Cook. Simply substitute “poke in the eye” everytime you read “punch in the face”

“So how did you get away?” and he says, “I punched it, and… it let me go.” Let’s, let’s recap this. A fuckin’ SHARK, coming through the water, and this guy… I mean the shark goes over to this guy, bites, this guy punches it in the face, and the shark goes “ALRIGHT!” And tell me, there is no time in your life that you swim faster, than when a fuckin’ shark lets you go. Fuckin’ shark lets you go… if you don’t get pussy, with THAT story, “Wanna see my scar? Yeah I punched a shark in the face. I tried to swim away, I grabbed him, pulled him back. He tried to get away, I pulled him back and punched him again. And I looked him in the face and said, ‘Fuck you, Shark.’”

Diver pokes shark in eye, survives head chomp