Last week the Supreme Court struck down a 30-year old ban on handguns in our nation’s capitol. You can argue that on top of violating the 2nd amendment this law was ineffective anyway, as the murder rate continued to increase rapidly over DC’s last 30 years. You can also argue that this ruling is going to hamstring individual state’s rights to act on this issue on behalf of its citizenry. One thing you cannot argue though, is that we need to see more of this soon!

A 42-year-old Spokane, Wash., man accidentally shot himself in the face yesterday. The man, who was hanging out with his friends and throwing back a couple drinks, was playing around with the gun when a member of the group expressed concern about the firearm being toyed with. In an attempt to prove the gun was unloaded, the man pointed the gun at his face and pulled the trigger. He is now in critical condition at a local hospital.

Words cannot describe the stupidity involved here.

Just another friendly TastyBooze reminder for the weekend, if you’re going to play with guns this weekend, making it the water variety.

Original Story: The Seattle Times

You might be going to prison if you drive drunk while under the influence cocaine and then proceed to fall asleep behind the wheel and plow into a group of bicyclists while a photographer happens to capture the exact moment of impact and spray the image into the cyber-universe.

“Just 15 minutes in, the third annual Matamoros-Bagdad Cycling Tour in Mexico plunged into chaos when a drunk driver from Texas smashed head-on into the group of riders. 30-year-old Brownsville cyclist Alejandro Alvarez was killed in the accident, while ten other riders were seriously injured.”

This is one of the most fucked up pictures I have ever seen and it will generously contribute to the positive image of America on an international scope.

The asshole is not only in prison, but a Mexican ‘no-condom-no-problem’ prison. AYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!

So, these two women are computer generated ‘averages’ of faces of females wanting either to have a long meaningful relationship, or a one-night-stand.

Which face is which you ask? Does it matter? They look the fucking same!!!

The study, authored by Lynda Boothroyd and published in the journal Evolution and Human Behavior, was based on the responses of 700 men and women who were shown pictures of people in their early twenties.

Women are god-damn baffling enough. Now it’s a scientific fact that there is no way to tell if she wants to come back to the pad for a quickie or head to the Shane Company for a rock.

Also, according to the findings, men are more likely to obviously display the characteristics of our intention. Really? No shit? Is that because I’m drooling and have my hand down my pants?

FYI, the chick on the right is the one that’s more likely to be down for a one-night-stand. She looks a little hotter now doesn’t she?

If she randomly looks like your sister, I am sorry… and have her email me.

For the full story go here.

Yes, you read that correctly. Seems that a guy in New Zealand decided to toss a hedgehog at someone in a fight. Seriously, you couldn’t find a rock or something? At least throw one of the bazillion sheep they got down there. That could do some damage at least.

A police department spokesperson said, “People often get charged with assault for throwing things at other people,” though the weapon was admittedly a little uncommon. That’s like arresting OJ and saying, “Hey, people commit murder all the time, although a world class athlete/famous actor doing it is a little uncommon.”

The guy now faces up to 5 years in prison and up to 2 weeks of late night punchlines.

Read the original story here.

Apparently everyones favorite dodger-of-a-Darwin-award Johnny Knoxville almost lost his balls recently while trying to do a backflip on a motorcycle. Here is an excerpt from the blog post that he put up on jackassworld.com.

Just got back from Oklahoma where I was shooting “Mat Hoffman’s tribute to Evel Knievel.” Had a ball, too, even though I almost lost my own balls in the process. Don’t want to give too much away because the tribute airs Feb 23rd on MTV, but let’s just say before letting Travis Pastrana teach me how to do a backflip on a motorcycle I should have had him teach me to ride one first. Heh-heh…bad for me, good for our viewing audience at home. Have to go now. Have to empty the piss bag on my leg that I have to wear for the next two weeks until my torn urethra heals.

The guy seems like he is in a pretty good mood considering he has a piss bag and almost lost his balls. I know I would be pretty goddamn cranky if I was in his shoes. If you hit the link there is a picture of the bloody pants Knoxville was wearing at the time of the accident.

Full Post: Jackass World

In shocking news to everyone, Canada is no longer safe for young women. A newly published survey finds “one half of female high school students are subjected to sexual comments or gestures, and one-third are touched, grabbed or pinched in a sexual way.”

I simply cannot believe this. In my high school women were always treated with respect and dignity. No one ever said anything mean spirited or degrading about our female classmates. In fact, girls were celebrated as pure beings of intelligence and niceness, with the ability to heal wounds and mend broken bones.

Now I hear that “one-third of the girls in grade 11 felt pressured into taking part in unwanted sexual activity, and 15 per cent have oral sex just to avoid having sex.” Unbelievable! Next you are going to tell me that overweight children are made to feel uncomfortable during lunch time or gym class. Or that black children sometimes hear degrading remarks about their skin color. I think it’s time to close the border and activate the missile shield between Canada and the US. Let’s keep the sexual harassers up in the North where they belong.

original disgustingness here

Really? You’re going to use a chair as a trampoline to jump into the pool? Not only is that one of the dumbest ideas that I’ve seen repeatedly on the internet, but you’re going to use one of the ones with the vinyl strips for a seat? That’s just brilliant.

If you’re hoping one of these nut cases crashes head first into a wall at 100 mph, don’t waste your time, it doesn’t happen. But if you just want to see some pure insanity, click below.

Darwin strikes again! I don’t think this numb nuts will be shooting anything but blanks for a while.