Just when you thought 2-girls-1-cup-mania had finally died down and gone away some douche bag goes out and gets a tattoo that just brings it right back. I have seen some ridiculous tattoos in my day (most of which I have posted here) but this is definitely the most ridiculous shit I have ever seen. What kind of reason can this chucklehead come up with to explain to his kids (maybe this tattoo should be grounds for sterilization) why he has a tattoo of a girl shitting into a cup that another girl is holding?
It looks like he got the tattoo on the back of his leg. I hope this ass clown lives in a cold weather climate where he can where jeans all the time. He is never going to be able to pick up a chick while wearing shorts again. I would love to see the reactions when he shows this thing off at the next family BBQ. Mom and Dad are going to be so proud.
NOTE: Click on the blurred image to see the uncensored version in all its glory but be warned that it is literally a tattoo of two naked chicks, one of which is shitting into a cup. If you are at work build up some monitor blockage as necessary.
David Blaine is at it again. The “Magician” just broke the Guinness World Record for holding one’s breath. The previous record of 16 minutes 32 seconds was set back in February. Blaine used the “Oprah” show as his stage for the record-setting feat, holding his breath in a water-sphere for 17 minutes 4 seconds and forcing the studio-audience to sit through this boring event.
Blaine is the biggest joke. At first he was kind of a cool magician, now he just specializes in endurance stunts - floating in water, laying in a frozen box of ice or living in a box. What’s next? Is he going to force himself to watch a marathon of Hallmark movies on the Lifetime Channel? Blaine even said that breaking the breath-holding record was “a lifelong dream.”
Well, Blaine has inspired my lifelong dream, it involves Blaine holding his breath forever! I will say that the best thing that ever came as a result of Blaine, was this hilarious video of his Street Magic on YouTube.
The Chicago Bulls’ mascots have been getting into some shit lately. He’s been busted for slangin’ weed out of his car, charged with socking an off-duty police officer, accused of shooting t-shirts at Kevin Garnett, and now a lawsuit has been filed against Benny the Bull for tossing a dentist to the floor and tearing his bicep.
Benny was running down the aisles of the United Center about two months ago, slapping high fives with Bull’s fans when he tripped and grabbed Dr. Don Kalant’s arm to brace himself. Well, the dentist, being the 2nd-row pussy that he is, couldn’t handle the weight and fell, hyper-extending his arm and rupturing his bicep. Kalant stayed for the rest of the game and then went to the doctor. The impending surgery is said to have forced Kalant to miss 4 months of work as well as $80,000 in lost income.
Benny should have kicked this guy’s ass. Apparently he has the track record to show he’s capable. You know the dentist was PUMPED to be giving Benny a high five, and Benny was happy to do it. Now the bastard is threatening Benny’s livelihood.
I hate fucking dentists.
Actually, if someone were to cause me to rupture my bicep, they wouldn’t be around anymore to sue. My guns would rupture them first!
Californian Assemblyman Jim Beall Junior is no Mr. Cool Ice, but he surely is deserving of being the Douche Bag of the Week. The Democrat from the San Jose area has proposed a tax on beer that would raise more than $2 billion for costs associated with alcohol-related emergencies like traffic accidents, beer goggles domestic violence and illnesses. If approved, the tax would increase the cost of a can or bottle of beer by 30 cents!
What. The. Fuck.
Tell me, looking at this photo of Mr. Beall, this guy has to be throwing down the beers on the regular. Isn’t he hurting himself here? Not to mention, in the lovely State of California, you can buy hard liquor at grocery stores, so isn’t this going to just encourage the purchase of hard alcohol instead of beer? Or even worse, force people to buy more of that shit alcohol, like Mike’s Hard Lemonade or wine coolers.
Seriously, Mr. Beall, you should reconsider. After you lose your job because of this tax, you’ll be looking for the cheapest beer possible.
Being a bleeding-heart liberal in this day and age, I am supposed to hate America and love Hugo Chavez, right? Well, too bad kids. This just put him on my shit list for good.
Turns out this dipshit just ordered that The Simpsons be taken off the air in Venezuela. Seems that it’s not family friendly, and its time slot of 11am is just not appropriate. So what family friendly, kid appropriate show has been tapped (so to speak) to take its place?
Motherfuckin’ Baywatch.
You have to be kidding me. Baywatch? Why not just put porn and Japanese horror movies on there? That is fucking ridiculous.
Read more here, but don’t expect a logical explanation, one is nowhere to be found.
Sure it is early in the week but turning your belly button into an animal’s asshole through the art of tattoo is pretty much a guaranteed win. What the fuck was thing guy thinking? Is that the monkey’s ball sack hanging down off his belly button? How many times has this stupid tattoo cock-blocked this guy? Essentially a self cock-blocking. Of course if he is the kind of guy that would turn his belly button into a monkey’s asshole how many ladies could he be pulling anyway?
Check out the gallery for a couple of other ass clowns that won their Douche Bag of Week title with animal assholes.
Check out this bad dude, Mr. Cool ICE. I can’t believe the tattoo artist would continue to tattoo this boner. Why is ice the only word that is written in all capital letters? I think he kind of dicked up with the forearm tats. He should have gone with Mr. Cool on one arm and then the ICE on the other. Are those sunglasses on the back of his head or a fucking bow tie? I bet he is going to get the rest of the skull tattooed on the back of his head because the six identical skulls that he already has probably aren’t enough.
Just a real chip off the old douchebag. Look at these two forehead tattoo ass clowns. On the left is the father Floyd, 48, and on the right is his son Justin, 21. Both were arrested in Florida (Holy shit! What a surprise!) at different times last year.
This isn’t the only ink this dynamic douchebag duo is sporting. Floyd has “Got-R-Did” tattooed on the back of his head and Justin has “Fuck You” tattooed across his left and right eyelids. I wish they would have snapped a shot of Justin with his eyes closed so we could see that masterpiece.
Vandalizing a police cruiser is just an all around bad idea. It becomes a bad idea worthy of the Douche Bag of the Week title when you vandalize a police cruiser with a working/recording dash camera. Numb nuts.
Yes, this idiot was caught just a few hours later. The cop printed out his picture and took it into the bar this douche had been drinking at. His fellow bar patrons ratted him out without a second thought. I think we all learned a lesson from this today. The lesson is that police cruiser dash cameras have a SLEEP MODE that allows them to continue recording while the car is parked and not running. Good to know.
I just started a new job, and I have never seen so much terrible parking than I have witnessed in my new work area. Look at the brain donor in the pic on the right. Can you even see the curb from there? Jesus christ.
And the very next day, in the parking garage, someone parked so badly, I could not even get into my driver’s side door! I had to crawl through the passenger door! Take a look…
Admittedly, I was a little towards the left in the spot, since a huge van was parked on my right, but come on! If you can’t fit in there without trapping me, go to another goddamn spot.
I’d really like to see one of those phony inspirational poster things that people have online, using that first pic, and with a caption saying, “Parallel parking. If you can’t do it, you’re stupid.”
If anyone out there makes one (read: has photoshop and 4 minutes to spare), we’ll post it, and I’ll buy you a beer.
A Republican congressman from Arizona named Rick Renzi has recently been indicted on charges of money laundering and extortion, but is defiantly unwilling to resign. Seems that despite overwhelming evidence, he is continuing to profess his innocence and is evidently planning to ride this one out as long as possible. Obviously a conviction would force his dismissal, but until then, he’s going to party til the house burns down!
Reminds me of this mental giant who refused to resign as mayor, even after being convicted of exposing himself to underage girls. No word on whether that guy was a Republican as well…(hi Frank)
At what number of popped collars does one turn from douchebag (see definition) into awesome? I think it was previously assumed that all popped collars equaled douchebagery (and yes I realize the hypocrisy for all those who know me). From time to time you may see a double popped collar in the fraternity wilderness, but even that was a rare breed. But four? Holy crap, that reaches such high heights (huh?) of douchebag that it eclipses douchebag itself and becomes something pristine, beautiful. Therefore I applaud this man. And no, YOU are not 4 popped collars cool…and neither am I.
You may or may not know the answer to this simple question, so please click on the thumbnail AND zoom in on the flowchart to find out…
Some interesting findings:
1) Are you wearing stripes? —> Yes —> Are you in prison? —> If yes, you ARE a douchebag. If no, are they vertical stripes? —> Yes —> Are you fat and trying to conceal your weight problem? —> If no, you ARE a douchebag.
2) Are their gold chains around your neck? —> Yes —> Are you a rapper? —> If yes, you ARE a douchebag. In no, are you Mr. T? —> If yes, I pity da fool. If no, you ARE a douchebag.
3) Are you dressed entirely in denim? —> Yes —> Are you a farmer? —> No —> Is it 1983? —> Yes —> Then, do you have a time machine? —> Obviously not —> You ARE a douchebag.
This week, there has been a couple of hot topics in my world of news: Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue and Valentine’s Day. This is sort of a combination story of those two “hot button” issues.
The current “it” girl, SI cover model Marisa Miller will likely be celebrating her Valentine’s Day with her husband, Griffin Guess. The two have been married for almost two years.
So, what kind of guy gets the pleasure of being married to the hotness that is Marisa? A top of the line douchebag. We’re not the only ones that agree… WWTDD confirmed Guess’ level of douchebaggery with an appropriately titled post earlier this week: “Ready to Hate Life?” The bible on this subject, Hot Chicks With Douchebags, also called him out as a cactus. Judging by this picture, I would have to agree… although I might go with the term “preppy-skater.” Although it’s kind of an oxymoron, it best defines his attempt to stay hip with his hair, fake-n-bake tan and pink t-shirt, but still retro because it’s a Vans shirt.
I hate this guy SO much. Although, the pink shirt does match the Valentine’s Day theme. Best of luck to all those non-douchebags out there today.
Bloggers note: I apologize if the word “douchebag” was over used in this post. It was very necessary.
In a triumph of idiocy, a convicted sex offender who neglected to inform the government of his current whereabouts has won $10 million in the Massachusetts State Lottery. Since he was required to inform authorities in Connecticut, where was previously located, that he had moved, he now may face fresh charges.
Isn’t the idea of the fucking lottery to WIN IT? If you are a fugitive from justice, and don’t want to call attention to yourself, why on earth would you play the goddamn lottery? If you lose, you’re out a buck. If you win, you’re up $10 million but you go to jail. Not to mention that you become the most famous sexual predator in the world after Michael Jackson.
And by the by, this guy is a Level 3 predator, which is the most dangerous level, and the one whose offenders are most likely to commit more crimes. This isn’t a guy that hooked up with a 16 year old at a frat party. He’s been convicted 6 times of sexual assault and battery.
I think a $10 million donation to a children’s charity might be in order. Also maybe a good candidate for douchebag of the week?
