This guy obviously had one too many and thought it would be smart to sit down. Unfortunately, there was a little too much momentum as he found a place to sit and went for a tumble. The slow motion of the video is awesome, especially the Jabba The Hutt laughing of the on-lookers.

If you’ve always really wanted a drug habit but don’t have the balls to actually start one then Meth Coffee might be right up your alley. Much like Blow the energy drink Meth Coffee really has nothing to do with actual meth other than a catchy name. The only similarity that Meth Coffee has with real meth is the pricing scheme. A 10 oz bag of Meth Coffee will set you back $12 before shipping. Shit, I can burn through 10 oz of beans in a week. If this stuff is that good you could develop a spendy habit.

Meth Coffee—the original medicinal coffee ratio for gyrotonic stimulation. Agitates! Lifts! Enlightens! Motivates bowels! Don’t accept copied or tainted elixirs! They’re out there! Listen here, friend, I can sell you ten ounces, but I am warning you, this is powerful shit. If you’re just trying it for the first time, don’t throw back five cups like regular coffee. Ease into it. Have a little. Feel the rush, the euphoria, the smooth-edged high. Then go for more, if you want. Yeah, get into it. Make a dance up…program in assembly language…write your first novel…plot to overrule the planet. I’m telling you, this shit will nail your ass down like the sole of a boot!

Sounds like this shit is straight yellow caps. Of course you can’t name your product after a hard drug and not catch some flack. The same Illinois Attorney General that got Blow yanked from the market now has her sites set on Meth Coffee.

Meth Coffee Home Page

Yesterday we posted an article about men getting drugs to satisfy women. Well, I found a post from Jezebel that is only going to add fuel to the fire.

The post includes a chart entitled, “The Authentic Women’s Penis Size Preference Chart.” Although not explicit, we’ll just assume this chart refers to their preference for sex, not just in general or for one act or another (read: blowjob). The chart has five categories: Ideal (Perfect), Very Satisfying, Satisfying, Enjoyable and Not Satisfying. The “Ideal” range is pretty much any pecker between 7″ and 8″ long, with a circumference of 6.25″ to 6.5″. Surprisingly there are some women out there that find a circumference of 7.5″ to be enjoyable. In comparison, the beer bottle at my desk (don’t ask) has a circumference of about 7.5″.

In discussions with Bill Brasky, we came to these conclusions:

1. Women might have a hard time (literally) measuring circumference correctly.
2. Women probably don’t know what circumference means.
3. The average women’s wrist is 7″ in circumference, so…

The best part about this article is the discussion that takes place in the comments section. It’s definitely worth a read.

Original Post: Jezebel

Men are pointing the finger at “Sex And The City” again, and this time, it isn’t the middle finger. In a story today from CBS News, therapists are reporting that men aged 18-30 are turning to Viagra and other meds to please women. The reasoning is that women are mirroring their demanding and powerful slut counterparts from “Sex And The City,” which in turn is seen as intimidating and threatening to their men.

Here’s what the article had to say:

The men say today’s empowered women are very vocal about what they want in terms of intimacy, creating pressure that’s leading to problems in the boudoir. … And, the therapists report, the overexposure of perfectly-proportioned and functioning male models in advertising, Web porn and elsewhere, which can create unrealistic fantasies, isn’t helping any, either — making men feel even more insecure.

I watch “The Early Show” on CBS and judging by that sample group, I would agree; none of those guys are giving it to any of the girls. Julie Chen is hot too. Whereas, I’m sure there’s a good reason why Harry Smith has a radio segment called “Just A Minute.”

Original Story: CBS News

The White House just released a study saying that the potency of marijuana is at an all time 30 year high.

The latest analysis from the University of Mississippi’s Potency Monitoring Project tracked the average amount of THC, the psychoactive ingredient in marijuana, in samples seized by law enforcement agencies from 1975 through 2007. It found that the average amount of THC reached 9.6 percent in 2007, compared with 8.75 percent the previous year. The 9.6 percent level represents more than a doubling of marijuana potency since 1983, when it averaged just under 4 percent.

Basically the White House is concerned that aging hippies baby boomers won’t be as concerned with their kids smoking pot because they remember the weak ass shit from the ’70s. Frankly I don’t think announcing a drug is the best it’s been in 30 years is anyway way to deter usage. If anything I think more kids are going to toke it up to see what the this strong ass weed is all about.

Either way I think this pretty much guarantees there is going to be a shortage of Funyuns across the country.

Original Story: Oregon Live

Apparently there is a new trend spreading around the club scene in NYC amongst the young males looking to get laid. While they are waiting in line they slather the well known ass cream Preparation H all over their stomach and chest. The hope or desired effect is that the cream will make them looked more ripped thus upping their chances of duping a female club goer into banging them.

“If you want to get [lucky], you have to know how to dance, and if you want girls to dance with you, you have to look ripped.”

Sound logic, but why is ass cream necessary? Preparation H contains a drug called phenylephrine HCL which when applied shrinks blood vessels in the area which then reduces blood and fluid in said area. This shit isn’t going to turn a beer gut into a six pack but the broken logic is that it will make your chest and stomach more defined. The company that produces Preparation H does not condone these “off ass” applications and does not recommend them. Preparation H has long been used by bodybuilders looking to get rid of that last little bit of love handle right before a competition but I think this is the first time people have decided to slather their entire upper body in it.

Other than being a jackass covered in ass cream it doesn’t look like there are any major side effects. Doctors quoted in the story say that if you are allergic you could develop a rash or because the cream shrinks blood vessels it could result in increased blood pressure. Two things that I am sure horny young club goers are willing to roll the dice on.

Original Story: ABC News

This is what the guy behind me was buying at the checkout counter the other day. And that was ALL he was buying…

Can you at least get some beer with that? You’re obviously gearing up for a fun night…

Generally customs officials take drugs away from people. Customs officials in Tokyo got things a little backwards and actually gave some J. Random passenger a bag of dope. The customs agents slipped the dope into the passenger’s bag as part of training exercise for drug sniffing dogs. The problem is that the Customs agents lost track of the suitcase before the dogs could find it and now they don’t know where it is.

Customs agents, in a move that makes perfect sense, asked that anyone who happens to find the drugs return them. Yeah, like anyone with half a brain is going to walk into a law enforcement office and turn over a bag of pot.

Original Story: CNN.com

Thanks to Paco for the tip!

Even if you can find a way to explain the gold paint on your face the can of gold spray paint under the chair you are sitting in is really going to be the nail in the coffin. Who calls the cops on a guy huffing paint in an RV park? If he is chilling in his fold up chair who really cares? If you are going to get busted by the cops for drugs make it something good like meth or blow. Spray paint? What is this eighth grade?

Okay, posting this story was really just an excuse to post this clip from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. If you don’t watch the show you are really doing yourself a disservice. After huffing a shit ton of paint Charlie (he prefers silver) writes Day Man, one of the finest compositions ever created.

Original Story: Daily News

Dip those little blue bastards in chocolate of course!

Tibor Liska was indicted by a federal judge on mail fraud charges for selling a food supplement called “Boom”. Apparently Boom was just chocolate laced with Viagra and some herbs. Tibor was mailing some 12,000 packets a month to countries like the U.S., Australia, Japan, Argentina, Russia and a few others. I guess the problem was the Boom was marketed as a plant-based food supplement. Tibor’s company didn’t bother to mention that it contained boner medicine that requires a prescription and could have side effects like a four hour boner.

Original Story: Yahoo News

Crack. Injected. Hotcakes. I don’t know what they are but I kind of want them. I think IHOP might need to look into this. Fuck strawberries, blueberries, whip cream and that flavored syrup bullshit. I say go straight for the crack.

I found this ad in the sidebar of Uncrate. While the quote is from somebody at Wired.com the ad is actually for a new phone that Sprint is going to release called the Instinct. So somebody at Sprint or at the very least Sprint’s ad agency thought it would be a good idea to blanket the internet with a quote that contained “crack-injected hotcakes“. I am no advertising guru but I would have to imagine that there haven’t been a huge number of successful ad campaigns that directly referenced crack.

For those not up on the cell phone game the Samsung Instinct is Samsung’s and Sprint’s tag team effort to battle the iPhone. It has a 3.1″ touchscreen, haptic feedback and Sprint even licensed the visual voicemail technology from AT&T.

For as long as I can remember people have been telling me that I shouldn’t drink and antibiotic. Well it turns out that’s a complete load of bullshit. Dr Keith Hopcroft, GP, recently wrote an article for the TimesOnline debunking the top 10 medical myths and mixing alcohol and antibiotics happened to be one of them. To be fair there was one exception, metronidazole, which will make you puke if you drink even a small amount of booze. Here is what the good doctor had to say:

How wrong is this? Totally, with the exception of the antibiotic metronidazole.

What are the facts? Any interaction of alcohol with virtually all antibiotics is nonexistent, or so small as to be irrelevant. Metronidazole, an antibiotic used for a variety of infections, is the exception to this rule. When mixed with even small amounts of booze, it causes vomiting.

While this is awesome it doesn’t have a huge effect on me personally. I very rarely go to the doctor so I very rarely end up with any antibiotics. When I was little and got sick my mom would always tell me “Drink and pee. Drink and pee.” You know, to flush the system. I’ve found now in my later years that nothing generates pee and flushes the system like 15 beers. Shit, my pee is clear after number four so all the rest are just gravy.

Original Story: TimesOnline

The ultimate roommate burn is a very simple three step process.

1) Get restraining order against hated roommate.
2) Find out the approximate time cops will be showing up to serve the restraining order.
3) Lay out three lines of baby powder in the hated roommate’s room just before the cops arrive.

A 20 year old Floridian female pulled off this burn on her 30 year old male roommate. The article doesn’t say if the guy was arrested but no charges where filed after the substance tested negative for cocaine.

Original Story: TC Palm.com

Now that I have your attention, what’s with all the energy drinks that reference cocaine? A few months, or maybe even a year ago, there was a big hoopla over Cocaine (the energy drink). Now there is an energy powder. Yes, you can cut the shit with a credit card, then add it to the beverage of your choice. I wonder what MADD will have to say about Blow Energy. Cocaine (the energy drink) wasn’t even on the market for a minute before it was pulled. When word of Blow Energy reaches the halls of your local high school, I say 2 months before it’s pulled from the market. The coolest part about the “supplement” is that you can buy a VP credit card to use when chopping up lines of the finest Peruvian energy supplement.

I’m all for energy drinks, in fact I’m drinking a redbull right this very minute as I waste away precious study minutes. Nothing better than wasting time on Tastybooze, trying to avoid the stress of upcoming law school exams. I’m going to have to track down some of this blow and write up a review.

Once thought to be the progeny of less selective sorority houses, dirty vadges have become quite common in US high schools. A recent report by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention finds that 1 in 4 high school girls have at least one sexually transmitted disease. While some say this epidemic of STI’s is the result of the weak moral fiber of US parents, others argue that bullshit programs like abstinence only sex education course are to blame. When asked to comment on this startling report, Blake Rodriguez age 17 said “Dude, I am not the father. Stacy is such a fucking liar.”