Just looking at that picture, you’re probably assuming a DUI. Well, not exactly. Randy Travis did have a blood-alcohol level of .26, so he decided not to drive, instead he instructed a 10-year-old boy to take his van on a joy ride. According to the police report, the van reached speeds of upwards of 90 MPH and was found flipped on its roof with three other children in the van as well. Luckily none of the kids were injured severely. Unluckily, Travis was fine too.

Original story: The Smoking Gun

Maura Steele made a drunken kamikaze run in her jeep and managed to knock out a power pole.

The force of impact knocked out power to parts of Aloha and closed the highway for several hours.

Usually the pole wins in the car vs. pole battle but if she managed to take the whole pole out she must have been hauling ass.

Check out this picture of a sheriff’s deputy standing next to part of the pole that Steele took out.

It’s hard to claim you weren’t driving drunk when you obliterate the pole holding the “Don’t Drink and Drive” sign.

Hit the link below for makeup-running-tears mugshot goodness.

Original Story: Oregon Live

I will be first to admit that Jimmy John’s makes some of the best sandwiches around but if you are going to try to talk your way out of a DUI you’ve got to offer something better than sandwiches.

Mike Booth was charged with DUI and bribery after a cop stopped him for driving without his headlights on and he failed a breathalyzer. Instead of keeping his trap shut Booth decided to offer the cop “free Jimmy John’s sandwiches if he was allowed to go home”. Based on the charge of bribery in the previous sentence you can guess how well that turned out for him.

A DUI is bad enough without compounding the problem by trying to get out of it with sandwiches. I mean shit, everyone knows that cops only eats donuts. What a dumbass.

Original Story: Press Citizen

Janet Landrum here has as many DUIs as you’ve got fingers. In fact she would have one more for an even 11 but she managed to get charges on one DUI reduced back in 2002. Janet was pulled over last weekend and told the deputy that she was driving because the passenger in the car was too drunk to drive. Talk about taking one for the team. Janet failed a field sobriety test and blew a .112 BAC on the breathalyzer machine. Janet’s DUI streak stretches all the way back to 1988 but she has managed to rack up the last six since the turn of the century.

Can’t we all agree that 10 DUIs is a little fucking ridiculous and just take this woman’s license away? I do have to give Janet some credit and say that she looks pretty good for 41. I would guess more than a few of you would buy her a jager-bomb and take a shot if it was a slow night at the tavern.

Original Story: Herald Tribune

You just got stopped by the cops and got a DUI with a BAC three times over the legal limit before you even made it out of your driveway. Do you:

A) Call a friend to drive your drunk ass around.
B) Head back in the house and pass out.
C) Walk to the nearest bar and drink away the DUI.
D) Head back out on the road and get arrested two hours later with a higher BAC.

Not happy with her mediocre score of just three times the legal limit Doreen Rose hit the streets and was arrested two hours later with a BAC four times the legal limit. This little piece of tomfoolery has gotten Doreen banned from driving for the next five years. You might be wondering how someone manages to get a DUI without leaving their driveway and the answer is fairly simple. Doreen managed to hit a car as she was backing out. Not surprising, it’s hard to keep your head on a swivel when you are piss drunk. The cops made Doreen sign a form promising she wouldn’t drive before they gave her keys back but you can see how well that worked out.

Original Story: Daily Record

Back in July, the University of Michigan’s starter running back Kevin Grady was arrested for drunk driving. Results from two tests put his blood-alcohol level at .281 and .240, both of which are three times the legal limit of .08. The football player was actually passed out in the car asleep, but the car was on and in drive, luckily Grady’s foot was resting on the brake.

After finally waking up and becoming (somewhat) coherent, an officer questioned Grady at the scene:

The officer [Thompson] also wrote that Grady was off-balance and unable to recite the alphabet, with Thompson quoting Grady as saying “O, R, S, J, L, P.” Thompson said he asked for a number between 12 and 14, and Grady answered “15.” And when asked whether Mickey Mouse is a dog or a cat, he answered “dog.”

These answers may fly on tests at the University of Michigan, but welcome to the real world of the law! Although, to be fair, I would give him a half-point for “dog” - those big ears can be deceiving.

Original Post: Deadspin and Story: MLive

With the cost of gas these days, you’re probably going to start hearing a lot more about people trying to steal gas. Well, a 20-year-old dude in San Jose thought he could break into a small airport and steal some gas. Of course, he was drunk and, of course, he was trying to steal jet fuel. Sure jet fuel is used for airplanes and racing cars, but it also happens to be more expensive than what the common folk at buying at the pump.

The guy was arrested for the DUI and attempted theft. Have fun getting your car back from the impound with an empty tank.

Original Story: Yahoo! News

“You have a problem with the grog,” the judge told Ingham.

If your car is literally disengrating around you chances are that you are probably too drunk to drive. Brook Ingham, 19, left a party piss-ass drunk in his car and was involved in a minor accident that damaged the car and the tires. Unphased Brook continued driving even as pieces of the car fell off and tires began leaving the rims. Once the tires came completely off Brook continued to drive the car and it was until the front suspension collapsed bringing the car to a dead stop that Brook gave up. However much like myself, Brook is a man that likes to pass out in his own bed so once the car came to a grinding halt Brook hopped out and walked the rest of the way home.

Cops found Brook at his home and when they asked him about his car he claimed that it had been damaged at the party and he didn’t want to leave the car there.

He was breathalysed and recorded a reading of 899mcg of alcohol per litre of breath. The limit for anyone aged under 20 is 150mcg.

Not surprising this was Brook’s second DUI arrest.

Original Story: stuff.co.nz

Is there some kind of urban myth that drinking wite-out will help you beat a breathalyzer? I can remember hearing that putting pennies in your mouth would help you beat a one, but never wite-out. Of course, if I was in a police station looking at my fourth DUI arrest I would probably try some pretty crazy shit to get out of it as well.

Juan Briceno, 33, was arrested at a taco stand last year and taken to police headquarters so that the cops could administer a breathalyzer test. While Briceno was waiting for the tech to show up and give him the test, he picked up a bottle of wite-out from an officer’s desk and took a chug of it. Once the tech showed up she pointed out to officers that Briceno had “mime-white lips”. Using brilliant powers of deduction the cop checked out Briceno’s lips, checked out the bottle of wite-out and then put two and two together.

Unfortunately for Briceno and us the cops hauled his ass down to the hospital for a blood test where they found he was sporting a .28 BAC. I’ve heard of higher BACs but I have never heard of someone trying to hide it with wite-out.

I wish they would have given him the blood test and then the breathalyzer so that we could find out if wite-out had any effect on the results. The bottle lists wite-out as flammable and harmful if swallowed so maybe it would dick with the test. Of course based on this guy’s luck if they had given him the breathalyzer his BAC probably would have registered higher.

Original Story: Omaha.com

I don’t know if the folks over at the Guinness Book Of World Records have a category for most DUIs in a given time frame but if they do I think Robert Hood (not related to Robin) might have just set the record. I have posted several stories here on Tasty Booze in the past about people pulling off the incredible two DUIs in 24 hours which is an accomplishment no doubt but Mr. Hood has decided to take the bar up a notch by locking down a solid four DUIs in the last two weeks. Some people can’t ring up four in a lifetime but Robert here has knocked it down in just two weeks.

If you are concerned that Robert might be stuck in jail upsetting his world record pace you can put your mind at ease. The judge in the case set Robert’s bail at just $2000 so Robert has already posted his 10% and was back on the street on Tuesday.

Original Story: Chron.com

We have had no shortage of idiots with ridiculous license plates lately (BIG GIZ, BEER and ANASLEX) but now we finally have a story about one of these idiots in action.

Elizabeth Ann Kommes, 30, has been rolling around town in car with a license plate that reads “TROUBLE”. I don’t know if this means that she is trouble, has been in trouble or she is planing on causing some trouble. Judging from her past record I would say all of the above. Ms. Kommes is on probation after being caught with 3 pounds of pot and she has 4 DUIs under her belt. Nothing like trying to keep a low profile with an inconspicuous license plate.

Most recently Ms. Kommes was busted with DUI number 5 after people called police to report a drunk woman driving away in a car with a license plate reading “TROUBLE”. True to her license plate Ms. Kommes wasn’t just going to just accept another DUI and head off to prison. Instead she decided to offer the arresting officer $10K and sexual favors. The fine upstanding officer making the arrest declined her offer and as a result Ms. Kommes ended up in more “TROUBLE”.

Original Story: WiscNews

Surely the DUI laws vary between states and countries, even more so when it comes to operating non-traditional vehicles, but this story from the UK is a bit ridiculous. The DUI on the Cruzin Cooler is understandable, but what if you are disable and operate an electric wheelchair?

Well, a man with cerebral palsy was cut off after two Budweisers at a pub in England on Sunday because he was in an electric wheelchair and liquor laws kept the bar from serving him a third beer. Also noted, as that the top speed of his electric wheelchair is 4 miles per hour.

The 33-year-old Lee Cook is pissed. This isn’t him in the photo, but if you check out the original story link, you’ll see a well written caption to go with his photo, “Angry: Lee Cook.” That just about says it all.

Original story: Metro UK

As a resident of Ohio, Bill Brasky, is probably the better person to post this photo, but he’s probably passed the stage of function motor skills at this point. If only someone would have taken this photo as the car went through one of the many drive-thru liquor stores…as I’m pretty sure this guy won’t be sharing the road with bikes on his way home.

Lynne Rice, 74, drove her 1988 land yacht Cadillac through the front of a convenience store last night causing about $8K worth of damage. Undeterred by her less than orthodox park job Lynne hopped out of the caddy and proceeded over to the cooler case where she picked up a six pack of Bud Heavies. Being the upstanding citizen that she is Lynn proceeded to the counter and tried to pay for her refreshing beverages.

What I am guessing was one pissed off store clerk refused to sell the beer to Lynne and the 5’4” 112 pound women reportedly pushed him as a result of his refusal. Police showed up a few minutes later and Lynne was arrested on suspicion of DUI, big surprise. It’s doesn’t take a huge feat of logic to deduce that someone who can nonchalantly drive through a plate glass window and then go for more beer is probably rolling with a pretty serious buzz.

I would pay money to see the surveillance footage of this. Did this little old lady just climb out of the car like nothing was wrong and head over to the cooler?

Original Story: Press Telegram

I am sure this guy isn’t the first person to be charged with a DUI while operating a motorized wheelchair but he has set the bar pretty high for anyone that is going to come behind him.

The Queensland police found a 64-year-old man passed out in his motorized wheelchair on a freeway off ramp. When the cops gave him a breathalyzer he blew a .301 which is about six times over the legal limit. The man was reportedly trying to visit a buddy that lived about 14km (8.69 miles) and he was making most of the trip on the four lane freeway.

So six times the legal limit, 64 years old, motorized wheelchair and on the goddamn freeway. All this guy needed was a “Ta-Da!” at the end to cap off one hell of a performance. I would need at least a .301 BAC before putting a motorized wheelchair on a major freeway.

Original Story: news.com.au