While we don’t shy away from political commentary here at Tasty Booze, we are less likely to take a political stand one way or the other given the breadth of staff opinions on most issues. But John McCain has attacked us at the core and finally gone too far. Often a lovable guest on The Jon Stewart Show, guest star in Wedding Crashers, and conductor of the Straight Talk Express, McCain is usually a pretty cool guy. For a 70 year-old at least. But here at Tasty Booze we have uncovered his dirty little secret and we are determined to spread the word across the United States.
In a recent speech airing on MSNBC and posted below, Senator McCain firmly denounces our favorite past time in declaring that he “WILL VETO EVERY SINGLE BEER…” Why? Why, Senator, why? Between war, the fledgling economy, gas prices, and global warming, you have decided to take on the one thing we really need in today’s world to get to sleep at night? This is especially alarming when contrasted to Mr. Obama, who is often seen enjoying a tasty hops-based beverage. In fact, the Illinois Senator has even had beer named after him by East African Breweries Limited in his fathers native Kenya and by Brooklyn, NY’s own Sixpoint Craft Ales.
Clearly, just because his 70 year-old liver is too old to enjoy a cold, crisp, refreshing brewsky, Mr. McCain is taking it out on the rest of us. It has been of suspicion for years that he has always preferred a weaker, more effeminate drink, but to go to these extremes…a sad day indeed.
That’s right folks, get excited for ANOTHER election day! Just like all the others, today’s is the most important of them all. That’s right, the national powerhouses known as Indiana and North Carolina are holding their primaries - 187 delegates are at stake. You may have thought that America’s biggest fan Reverend Wright would have done in Obama by now, or you might have assumed the mathematical impossibility of Hillary winning would have sent her packing. But no, we get more! At least it gives Stewart and Colbert plenty of material. Let’s review the possible outcomes:
Hillary Wins Them Both: They split the delegates close enough to 50/50 to not make a difference due the the Democrats proportional system
Barack Wins Them Both: They split the delegates close enough to 50/50 to not make a difference due the the Democrats proportional system
Barack and Hillary Each Win One: They split the delegates close enough to 50/50 to not make a difference due the the Democrats proportional system
If you were running for the President of the United States, who are a couple of people you would rather not have endorse you? Hmmm. How about Heidi Montag of The Hills and Kim Kardashian of absolutely nothing. Ya that sounds about right. Although I suppose they do bring in the “awful person who thinks she’s really hot” and “amateur porn star” vote, respectively. Unfortunately, those constituency groups often times tend to overlap (see Paris Hilton), limiting there impact.
Kim: “I had dinner with him [Obama] once, and he just seemed very firm about the change, and that’s, like, his motto.” Yes, good pick up on the motto my dear. Although you forgot the other part about taxing the hell out of people just like you! But wait, Kim had dinner with Obama? Oh I see, it turns out she was attending an event where he was speaking and they happened to serve food. Ya that sounds like an intimate one on one. I, on the other hand, have had dinner with my heroes Ken Griffey Jr and Alex Rodriquez because I ate a pretzel at a Seattle Mariners baseball game in 1998. It was delightful. The topper here though is that Kim gave her endorsement to the media while attending ex-con Joe Francis’ Girls Gone Wild party. Well done.
After a crushing 10-point loss last night in the great state of Pennsylvania, Barack Obama has decided to go another direction with his campaign. Seeking the 18-22 frat boy vote, Abercrombie & Fitch is now apparently sponsoring him (see the most prominently displayed 3 dudes in the pic). He may not win with this group, but at least he will learn how to beer bong and make disparaging remarks about Hillary Clinton being a MILF. Good luck with that! And props to CO-ED Magazine for their original post. I saw this live last night during his concession speech, but was too busy making fun of Wolf Blitzer to post it.
There is nothing in American politics quite as helpful as pandering to the wannabe politically savvy youth these days. Ever since Bill Clinton played the saxophone on MTV in the early 90’s, politics has been a whirlwind of Conan O’Brien, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert late-night appearances. On Monday night Hillary continued this trend, dawning her lovely fake smile and laughing as excessively awkward and out of turn as usual on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. I guess her “satellite-delay misunderstandings” made her look more personable and genuine, because she followed it up on Tuesday by giving Barack Obama a severe ass-kicking - winning the Ohio and Texas primaries. Many thought she would lose both, most thought she would lose Texas. Today was supposed to be the day she conceded, but late night television has done it again and given her the bump she needed to carry-on.
Six weeks into 2008 and it is already the most exciting election of my lifetime.I haven’t been around for all that many – and I hear the Humphrey/Nixon, Nixon/Kennedy times were crazy – but my lifetime is all I am worried about right now.Anyway, six weeks in and the Democratic Party is in the heat of a vicious delegatorial (prediction: Colbert’s next word of the day) battle.And on the republican side we have a war hero that plenty of moderate minded democrats fell in love with 8 years ago and most conservatives can’t stand.(Of course, “can’t stand” is a whole hell of a lot better than how they feel for Mrs. Bill Clinton).And then there is this religious right Huckabee character who is hysterical because (1) democrats keep rooting for him even though they all admit when pressed, “ok fine, McCain is kinda cool” and (2) he has Chuck Norris, THE Chuck Norris, behind him in all his campaign speeches!What the hell is that about?
Anyway, forget Huckabee, it’s over for him. McCain is the man, for lack of a better man (and holy crap he looks mean), on the republican side.Nothing better than choosing a 70+ year-old guy who couldn’t get enough support in the party to win it 8 years ago against the guy who has trashed our economy, brought us in to an endless war, increased energy prices, made the Canadian dollar stronger than ours, and let the culprit of 9/11 continue on.Good work guys!Way to pick ‘em….
While we don’t shy away from political commentary here at Tasty Booze, we are less likely to take a political stand one way or the other given the breadth of staff opinions on most issues. But John McCain has attacked us at the core and finally gone too far. Often a lovable guest on The Jon Stewart Show, guest star in Wedding Crashers, and conductor of the Straight Talk Express, McCain is usually a pretty cool guy. For a 70 year-old at least. But here at Tasty Booze we have uncovered his dirty little secret and we are determined to spread the word across the United States.
In a recent speech airing on MSNBC and posted below, Senator McCain firmly denounces our favorite past time in declaring that he “WILL VETO EVERY SINGLE BEER…” Why? Why, Senator, why? Between war, the fledgling economy, gas prices, and global warming, you have decided to take on the one thing we really need in today’s world to get to sleep at night? This is especially alarming when contrasted to Mr. Obama, who is often seen enjoying a tasty hops-based beverage. In fact, the Illinois Senator has even had beer named after him by East African Breweries Limited in his fathers native Kenya and by Brooklyn, NY’s own Sixpoint Craft Ales.
