The Mid-Summer Classic, a.k.a. baseball’s All-Star Game, was just that last night, a classic. The game extended into the 15th inning and into the wee hours of the morning on the East Coast, allowing for the immediate nickname of the “New York Marathon.” Although the 4-3 final score, in favor of the American League, was low; the game still provided a number of exciting moments and drama. The night had been long over for most of the big name All-Stars, and even the Yankee Stadium crowd slowly trickled out of the stands as the long drew on.
In the end Michael Young, Texas Ranger, hit a bases-loaded sacrifice fly, scoring the Twin’s Justin Morneau for the game-winning run. Even the final play was a close call at home.
A couple of parties on Monday night probably kept the some of the All-Stars a little subdued throughout the game. As gracious hosts, Yankees Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez both hosted parties in Manhattan. A-Rod’s party was Madonna-themed. Whereas Jeter’s get-together was hosted by Nike’s Jordan Brand and featured his new Jeter Clutch training shoe. The guest list included TastyBooze favorite Wade Boggs, Michael Jordan, former Yankee/Mariner Tino Martinez, Gabrielle Union, Billy Crystal, Fabolous, Busta Rhymes, a couple of the boys from Boyz II Men and others. Dan Uggla looked hungover as he made three errors at second base, and Kevin Youkilis was seen pounding a Red Bull as he sat the bench.
Overall it was a great game, luckily as a West Coast resident, I only had to stay up until 10:30 p.m. to watch it!
If you live in Seattle, or follow baseball at all, you know that signing Richie Sexson to a 4-year, $50 million contract was just one of many bad decisions by Mariners’ management. Honorable mentions include: a) signing Carlos Silva to a 4-year, $48 million dollar contract, b) replacing Jose Guillen with Brad Wilkerson (of the Strikeout Hall of Fame — the other member is Richie Sexson), who, by the way, is now a Toronto Blue Jay, and c) paying Jose Vidro to DH. Well hallelujah, Mariners! Yesterday, you did the right thing by releasing Richie Sexson. Sure, you’re going to eat at least $6 million this year on him regardless of what you do with him, but at least you can get some young talent some at-bats, or, I don’t know, try to win.
Considering the nearly monumental struggles of Sexson over the past three seasons, I ventured out to talk to some people close to Sexson to try and gain some insight as to how Richie is going to react to the news of his release. I was amazed at what I learned.
During an interview with local optomitrist Dr. Richard Gentry, he mentioned that he’d, “talked to [Richie Sexson] several times over the last three years during his regular, and emergency, appointments about lasik eye surgery, or at the very least, wearing contract lenses. Every time I’d suggest it he’d dismiss me with a wave of his hand, like he was shooing a dog away. ” When we asked Dr. Gentry the reasoning behind Richie’s refusal to improve his vision, he responded, “That stupid sonofabitch told me he enjoyed going up to the plate guessing on each pitch. And that he was still basking in the glory of pulling the wool over the owners’ eyes, getting them to sign him to a huge, albeit undeserved, contract. ‘It was the HGH,’ [Richie] told me.”
One of the greatest rivalries in basketball history is back again. Celtics vs Lakers. Bill Russel vs Wilt Chamberlin. Bob Cousy vs Jerry West. Sam Jones vs Elgin Baylor. Larry Bird vs Magic Johnson. Kevin McHale vs Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Paul Pierce vs Kobe Bryant. Kevin Garnett vs Pau Gasol. Spanning from 1959 to 1984 the Celtics won 8 straight finals battles against the Lakers. Magic Johnson changed all that, propelling the Lakers to the next two finals victories over the Celtics. Now they meet for an 11th time (probably the most of any two teams ever, but I am too lazy to look it up).
The Celtics opened up a quick 2-0 lead in the series, so as we have been doing all playoffs, this seems like an appropriate time for Tasty Booze to make their obvious playoff predictions. However, this one isn’t as easy as it looks. You have a great team going against the best player in the league on his home floor for the next 3 games.
Initial Observations:
- The Celtics are good
- Lamar Odom sucks
- Leon Powe and Rajon Rondo complete the “Big 5″
- The two guys above may prove more valuable then Ray Allen
- The white triplets, Gasol + Radmonovic + Vulucic, need to step it up
- Seriously, those guys have the same mom
- Kevin Garnett shoots from 18 feet WAY too much
- I never understood why he stayed out there so much
- Paul Pierce is a god
So no wonder the Celtics are dominating. Their players are awesome and the Lakers players are the opposite of that. Unfortunately for the Celts, Phil Jackson is smarter than you. And eventually he is going to figure out how to “MJ” Kobe. Once this happens (likely tonight), the Lakers are going to get their confidence back, Luke Walton and Ronny Turiaf will hopefully stop pretending they are basketball players, Kobe Bryant is going to continue elbowing Ray Allen but with no fouls being called, Rajon Rondo is going to get nervous, Lamar Odom is going to go back to quietly getting 16 and 10 instead of loudly thinking he is better than he is and getting 12 and 8, and Paul Pierce will show more of his Antoine Walker side.
The result. Lakers take 2 out of 3 at home. Celts win it all in game 6.
The city of Seattle is pulling out all the stops to keep their NBA franchise, the Sonics. We’re currently bracing for a long and drawn out court proceeding that will decide the fate of the team: either staying in Seattle against David Stern and the NBA’s wishes, or ending up in Oklahoma City with Clay “Dickhead” Bennett. Yesterday’s Seattle Times article breaks down the whole situation nicely.
It might be too late though, as people are starting to jump ship to support their Northwest neighbors, the Portland Trailblazers. The team has a number of connections to Seattle - the Trailblazers’ owner is Paul Allen the owner of the Seattle Seahawks, the roster includes University of Washington grad and Seattle native Brandon Roy, as well as another local high school star Martell Webster.
Here’s another reason, not related to Seattle, the Blazers just confirmed that they’ll be importing Spanish sensation Rudy Fernandez to the roster next season. At first I didn’t care. But our friend at Enjoy The Enjoyment was nice enough to post this video:
Sure the soundtrack of “Smooth Criminal” helps, but Rudy is Filthy McNasty. Athletic, creates his own shot, can play D, fast, hops…total package. The Blazers are back!
This guy! Thats right readers, if you remember last week I made some bold 1st round NBA playoff predictions in my It’s Time for Obvious Playoff Predictions post. I predicted the 8 winners to be Boston, Detroit, Cleveland, Orlando, LA, New Orleans, San Antonio and Utah - all of whom won.The only real nail biter was Boston over Atlanta, primarily because Ray Allen is shooting 2 for 78 in the playoffs to date (way to represent Seattle). But right is right. So if any gambling websites allow you to bet on a series after it is approximately halfway through, let me be your guide to wealth. Here are Round 2’s Obvious Playoff Predictions:
Boston vs Cleveland: Boston stopped Joe Johnson in their first round series and made the other guys score. Unfortunately for Boston, Joe Johnson is about a third of the man LeBron James is. Unfortunately for The LeBrons, the King himself was horrific from the field shooting 2 for 18 in game 1. Unfortunately for Boston, despite LeBrons misery the Celts still only won by FOUR. These teams make me want to vomit. If this keeps up the West is going to sweep whatever pathetic excuse for a team the East sends to the finals. I hated watching this game. And I hate writing about it even more. Boston moves on.
Detroit vs Orlando: More boring East teams. God I hate the east. Blah. Detroit moves on because I don’t want to talk about it anymore.
San Antonio vs New Orleans: I love Chris Paul. My ACC brother. What’s up SON! And Julian Wright is my new favorite rookie. Can you imagine a Kansas squad with him still on it? I don’t know who those other guys on their team are, but I don’t think it matters. San Antonio looks crazy slow and my 1st and 2nd least favorite ball players (Bruce Bowen because he’s a bitch-ass and Manu Ginobli because he is so ugly and has that bald spot) are on the team, so we know they ain’t gonna win. New Orleans moves on.
Utah vs LA Lakers: I think Utah is just joking with us that they are even playing in this series. I don’t particularly like the LA personalities, but Utah just sucks. If Karl Malone and John Stockton couldn’t get it done, their is no way Deron Williams and Carlos Boozer are going to. Boozer is from Alaska for shits sake and he went to college at the albatross of atrocious professional basketball players known as Duke (their best two ever, Grant Hill and Elton Brand both needed crutches to make it past their 6th NBA season). LA moves on.
Thats right, its the playoffs. No, not the NHL, because who cares about that (although pretty funny last night in the Penguins-Rangers game when Marc-Andre Fleury gave Sean Avery a completely unnecessary cup check). Its the NBA, and now that we are over halfway through with the first round, it is time for me to safely make my first round winner predictions without possibly being wrong. All those people who make predictions before the series starts need to rethink their strategy. For example, these guys (Front Row Sports) picked Phoenix to win in all. Should have waited a few games guys. Let’s quickly run through the match-ups.
Atlanta - Boston: I know you can’t name two players in the Atlanta starting five without cheating, so that can’t be a good sign. Boston moves on.
Philadelphia - Detriot: Remember that Dave Chappelle skit when he is emulating different NBA stars for their off-court actions as opposed to on-court ability. Scene: window rolls down, weed smoke pours out, “Rasheeeeed Wallace”. Pistons move on.
Washington - Cleveland: Lebron.
Toronto - Orlando: Dwight Howard actually eats other forwards for dinner. Seriously, he’s the next Shaq. Orlando moves on.
Denver - LA Lakers: Kobe loves Denver hotel rooms (remember the incident a few years back). No doubt his wife joined him this time. Lakers move on.
Dallas - New Orleans: After blowing it in the finals in 2006 and then getting ousted by an 8 seed in the first round in 2007, the Mavs are done. So done. And trading for Jason Kidd has actually made them worse. I never liked J Kidd because he is a whiny bitch, but now he is just a dirty player too. Check out the clip of him flipping Jannero Pargo around by his head. Chris Paul New Orleans moves on.
Phoenix - San Antonio: I gotta feel a little bad for Shaq on this one. He is just old and Pheonix runs to much for the big man. Although, I don’t think they would have done any better with Marion (proving he is nothing without Nash in Miami). San Antonio moves on.
Utah - Houston: Houston is one of those teams (even through their 22 game winning streak) that you just feel like is going to lose every night. I don’t know why, but every time they make a bucket I am surprised. Watching Utah play on the other hand is less fun than sticking forks in my eyes. Utah moves on.
Look for more 100% accurate predictions once the second round is well underway.
The NFL draft is coming up in a just a couple of days, and it’s time to think about how your team will fuck it up again. I usually watch the draft alone on a cold concrete floor surrounded by lithium, vodka, and kerosene. This way I don’t have to be slowly killed by poor drafting; I can do the job myself if the Seahawks make Bill Bavasi like decisions.
While the actual draft can be rather painful, preparations for the draft are exciting as all get out. You have Mel Kiper doing some weird Elvis shit with his hair. Grown men drool and discuss young men in spandex. Plus, you have the awesome prognosticators who suggest your team take running back A over running back B, because running back A clearly has muscles that are more twitchy than B.
The king off all prognosticators, and the English language, is our loveable Emmitt Smith. Emmitt’s mind is powerful, but his speech is show stopping. For example, when describing a quarterback, or possibly, cornerback, or, well actually, anyone on the field Emmitt has been known to say “He gets the ball over to their third read than most quarterback can.” Wow. Never before have I understood the value of the their third read. I always thought my second read was most important. [Read more →]
Tastybooze’s favorite Indy Racer, Danica Patrick, is going to have an even tougher time getting that first career victory (after 47 try’s) going forward. The IRL has instituted a rule that minimum weight of an IRL car must now include the driver, which means that Danica’s car will have to be heavier in other places in order to make up for her 100-pound frame. And of course, a lighter car means more speed. In fact, rival teams guesstimate that Danica gains an edge of up to 1 mph because of her tiny waist. The only two other women in the circuit are comparable fatties at 120+ pounds each. And most of the male drivers are in the 150’s range.
I don’t really have an opinion on the rule change. If it makes it more fair for everyone, I suppose its fine. But if it purposefully ostracizes one individual, then we have a problem (it’s like saying you can’t be above 7′5″ in basketball because it isn’t fair to the others - sorry Yao). Especially if that individual is hot and someone I want to continue to look for another decade or so during my 3x daily Sportcenter moments (breakfast, dinner, before bed).
Quick post from Deadspin, make sure you are wearing underwear when you go to a Tigers game or you may end up like Lohan with your junk on film. Apparently, cameramen at Comerica have been filming “soft core porn” at games. They appear to have a sizable collection of tapes they watch while on break drinking coffee, eating doughnuts, and masturbating.
The NCAA Tournament kicks off its second weekend of games this afternoon, with the rounds of the Sweet 16 and Elite 8. After spending four full days on the couch watching the first two rounds of games, these next four days sure to be filled with intensity and excitement. Unfortunately, the University of Pittsburgh Panthers will be watching the games, just like me and my busted bracket!
There was so much potential this year for the University of Pittsburgh going into the NCAA Tournament. The return of starting point guard Levance Fields from a broken ankle and beat-down Georgetown to take the Big East Conference Tournament Championship. Entering the NCAA Tournament, things were looking good.
Even former Indiana and Texas Tech coach Bobby Knight jumped aboard the Pittsburgh bandwagon, picking the Pitt Panthers to actually win it all. What did Knight know that no one else did? The infamous coach was finally sharing his picks for the NCAA Tourney as a guest contributor to ESPN, did he know what he was doing or just drunk?
Pitt always seems to have the winning formula: Big men down low, strong defensive focus, a sharp-shooting guard/forward and tough leader of a guard. In the past it’s been Brendan Knight and Karl Krauser, this year Fields. Unfortunately, it was the same old shit, just a different year. Worse, it was against Michigan State and Drew Neitzel, the only thing I like about him is his first name. Again, Pitt has sufficiently busted my bracket.
This is the last time. Never again, Pitt! I hope you don’t even make the tournament next year, so you can’t taunt me with the possibility of picking you!
As the NCAA tournament approaches, my hatred for the Duke University men’s basketball team grows. Last night I found myself getting warmed up for the big tourney by routing against Duke as they played Georgia Tech. Despite their 11-14 record going into the game, the Yellowjackets played the Blue Devils surprisingly tough until Duke pulled away at the end. It was a very physical game, however the only real injury came when the Duke mascot attempted to literally crowd surf the length of the court during a TV timeout. Things are going well until the dismount… if only this could happen at Paulus.
This has been floating around the internet lately. Apparently Chris Berman gets easily distracted when filming Monday Night Football. Headphones are encouraged for those of you listening at work.
Can we all just agree to move on from this whole Patriots filming the other sideline scandle? I am so sick of hearing about “tapegate” or “spygate”. Why the fuck do they have to append “gate” to everything? I know it is because of Nixon and Watergate but that was 35 years ago. Considering that the San Diego Chargers were supposed to be one of the elite teams in the NFL this year and the Pats completely dismantled them yesterday it doesn’t look like this cheating thing had any effect on their game. They are just flat out good.
Every team in the NFL is doing whatever they can to gain a competitive advantage. Coaches on the sideline don’t constantly cover their face because they are insecure and need to check their breath. They know that no matter what the rules say there is probably some SOB on the other sideline trying to read their lips. Now every talking head on every pre/post game show has to voice their two cents about this whole thing and they cover the whole spectrum. Sean Salisbury said “Fine Belichick and move on” while Cris Collinsworth acted like this was the biggest disgrace ever commited against the NFL and Belichick should be banned from the game. I even had to hear Jerome Bettis call in to question the two AFC Championship wins that the Patriots had over the Steelers in 2001 and 2004. Bettis actually said that had people known this cheating was going on the games might have turn out differently. First, no one other then Belichick will ever know when or where this began. Second, the final score of the 2004 game was 41 - 27 which is just a flat out ass whooping Bettis so deal with it.
Q: I bet Belichick is the type of guy who peeks at your controller as you’re selecting a play in Madden.
– Mike T., Fairport N.Y.
SG: How dare you! Now that’s just uncalled for! By the way, Belichick doesn’t play video games — it’s too difficult to hold the controller while he’s wearing his five Super Bowl rings.
Although the 4-3 final score, in favor of the American League, was low; the game still provided a number of exciting moments and drama. The night had been long over for most of the big name All-Stars, and even the Yankee Stadium crowd slowly trickled out of the stands as the long drew on.
The guest list included TastyBooze favorite Wade Boggs, Michael Jordan, former Yankee/Mariner Tino Martinez, Gabrielle Union, Billy Crystal, Fabolous, Busta Rhymes, a couple of the boys from Boyz II Men and others. Dan Uggla looked hungover as he made three errors at second base, and Kevin Youkilis was seen pounding a Red Bull as he sat the bench.
