Is it too early to give up on a team? How many people watched the Seattle Seahawks/New York Giants game on Sunday? And by “watched,” I mean take in the first half of this slaughter and then change the channel to the other NFL game or go back to doing just about anything else.
That game was awful, and even worse, it didn’t even help me in any of my fantasy leagues. Damn Eli Manning and his 12-year-old boy frame, if only I could have looked past that, his ho-hum attitude and always present deer-in-headlights-look and drafted him. Damn you, Eli!
I feel much better now, on to the Waiver Wire Scramble for Week 5:
Pick-up Le’Ron McClain, RB, Baltimore - Has anyone heard of Joe Flacco before this season? No? Exactly. That’s Baltimore’s QB and the reason why the Ravens are near the top of the league in rushing this year. Willis McGahee continues to run hard and get banged up, leaving McClain plenty of opportunities to get carries, especially in short-yardage and goal-line situations. The Ravens even have a couple favorable match-ups in the coming weeks that could help bolster McClain’s fantasy stats.
Drop Anthony Gonzalez, WR, Indy - Don’t get me wrong, Gonzalez is a great position receiver, but now that both Harrison and Wayne are back in full-time duty as Indy’s top receivers, this leaves Gonzalez as the odd man out. Even the return of TE Dallas Clark takes some snaps away from Gonzalez. Indy will continue to throw the ball a lot, but you should be able to find a more productive WR somewhere on the free agent market, just not these guys… [Read more →]
Last week was tough, this week is tougher. Bye weeks are never fun, but they definitely make it more important to pick-up, sit and start the right people. You are gonna have to find that diamond in the rough this week to beat that opponent who somehow still has all his starters playing.
Let’s check the stats. Last week I told you to start JT O’Sullivan, and while 257 yards and 1 TD ain’t bad, 2 picks is (Push). I also told you to start Reggie Bush (Loser), start Steve Smith (Winner), sit Brian Griese (Winner) and sit Matt Forte (Winner). Season record 8-9-3.
Sit QB Carson Palmer: Yes, I do think he is going to start, but no I don’t think he will finish the game. Dallas is that good, and a 75% Palmer this season with that running back and Mr. Cinco just isn’t going to get it done. Diggles line: 175 yards, 1 TD, 1 pick.
Start QB Jake Delhomme: The boys are back in town. Muhsin and Smith are on fire, KC’s D is porous at best, and the run game is a-runnin. Diggles line: 300 yards, 2 TDs, 0 picks.
For those of you sleeping one off on Sunday morning, you probably went to bed thinking your fantasy team was all squared away, unfortunately Carson Palmer decided to finger-bang himself out of the starting line-up. Maybe you caught this last-minute injury update and made the necessary changes, if not, you got fucked.
None of that really matters. What does? The Denver Broncos losing to the worst team in the NFL, get fucked Broncos! Jay Cutler look horrendous all around and the Kansas City Chiefs looked like somewhat of a decent football team. Hopefully the downward spiral will continue, on to the waiver wire scramble for this week:
Pick-up Steve Breaston, WR, Arizona - Breaston put up more than 300 yards between kick returns and receiving yards last week for the Cardinals. Now with Anquan Boldin out for at least a couple weeks, Breaston moves up the depth chart and into the pass-happy offense. Arizona’s defense is still suspect, so expect them to be coming from behind and throwing for much of the game. Plus Edgerrin James sucks like a Hoover. [Read more →]
Well, maybe this just isn’t my thing. But I am going to keep at it and just by luck I will probably make some good picks eventually. Last week I told you to start Drew Brees and Jay Cutler (Winner),but sit Larry Johnson (Loser). I also told you to sit Bengals combo Housh and Ocho (Halvsies), but start Kellen Winslow (Loser).At least Seattle’s defense was OK against the Rams. Overall record for the season now 5-8-2…
Start QB JT O’Sullivan: Who? Why? Because he has gotten better every game this season. From a QB rating of 80 in game 1, to 106 in game 2 to 123 in game 3. Why else? Because the Saints defense is QB-friendly. The last 2 weeks they have given up 321 yards and 1 TD and 264 yards and 2 TDs, respectively. Diggles line: 258 yards, 2 TDs, 0 picks.
Start RB Reggie Bush: He has had consistently solid starts all year. Plus, the SF defense has given up monster games to Frank Gore, Julias Jones and Rudi Johnson. Diggles line: 63 yards rushing, 85 yards receiving, 1 TD.
Start WR Steve Smith (Car): He is pissed and this time he won’t be taking it out on Ken Lucas. ATL has given up 4 10-point games in the last 3 games, including 3 TDs. And they haven’t seen anyone like Smith yet. Diggles line: 112 yards, 1 TD.
Sit QB Brian Griese: He’s not throwing for 400 yards again. Nor is he throwing for 200 this week. Don’t get crazy. Diggles line: 179 yards, 1 TD, 1 pick.
Sit RB Matt Forte: Did you see what the Philly defense did to Pitt last week? Holy crap, did you see it? Not only did they hold early season stud Willie Parker to 20 yards on 13 carries (yes, that’s 1.5 per), but they knocked him out of the game. Diggles line: 52 yards, 1 TDs.
Sometimes I wish the NFL will give the players a little more leeway in their touchdown celebrations. Obviously these are creative guys, it’s only going to increase viewership and build buzz around the league. I’m not saying these Canadians are the most creative, but it’s at least somewhat amusing.
Let’s not dwell on the past too much, but last week’s suggestions were pretty spot on. I will, however, take this opportunity to call out Diggles for digging on Larry Johnson. Although LJ personally ruined my fantasy team last year, he was able to manage 121 yards and 1 TD last week. Those are pretty decent stats, but it was also against Atlanta’s defense. Anyway…
The third week of the NFL season has come and gone, and if you’re 0-3 in fantasy football matches the record of the Detroit Lions, Cleveland Browns, St. Louis Rams, Cincinnati Bengals and Kansas City Chiefs, you might want to consider firing yourself. Or at least win a fucking game, it’s that simple. Although, start to take notice of upcoming bye weeks for your key players, strategery now becomes an important part of the season.
On to the waiver wire scramble for week 3:
Trade for Carson Palmer, QB, Cincy: Palmer finally got his first TD pass of the year, yay! The offense was starting to click and that’s impressive against the NY Giants. The Bengals have Dallas in two weeks, but should be able to put up some decent number in the next six weeks leading up to their bye week. Defense is still suspect, meaning it’s in Palmer’s hands to come from behind and throw the ball a shitload. Plus, Chad Johnson is still waiting for his breakout week.
Drop Santonio Holmes, WR, Pitt: How many of you suffered through that Philly/Pitt game last week? I only watched the highlights and I wanted to rip my own eyes out. The Eagles found the achilles heel of the Steelers, and that’s blitzing Big Ben non-stop. Who suffers, his wide receivers. Holmes has only 145 yards receiving through three weeks, dump him and pick-up a FA on a more proficient offense.
Currently, I’m torn. College Football vs. the NFL. Both seasons had a lackluster start, no statistical explosions from top fantasy football picks in the NFL and the marquee match-ups on national TV for college football haven’t panned out (OSU vs. USC anyone?). With only two top 25 match-ups on the docket for tomorrow, it might be another uneventful day of college football.
However, I would like to go back a week. If you caught the first quarter of the Washington Huskies game versus the Oklahoma Sooners before switching over to OSU/USC, you witnessed a 13-0 margin built by the Sooners. Not bad. But it got worse. 34-0 at halftime worse. And 55-14 final worse. Now, I don’t want to rip on the Huskies too much - they were a banged up and young team - I didn’t expect them to beat the No. 3 team in the country. I would expect them to have a little common sense about the game though.
Evidently not, judging by this shirt and the decision making abilities of someone at the university’s athletic apparel department. Yes, the “Defend Your House!” shirt made specifically for the UW/OU game last week is still on sale. For the low price of $19.99 you can remember this game forever, buy them here. It’s essentially like investing in the Nader/Gonzalez ‘08 campaign, I’m sure they make shirts for that pending failure too.
If I was a oppomistic UW fan and bought this shirt before last week’s game, I would have partaken in a ceremonial burning the moment I left the stadium. And yes, that would have been at halftime. UW is enjoying a bye week, but will take their frustrations out on Stanford next week - down with the Cardinal!
Ok that’s a lie, last week was terrible. My projections went 1-4 after a solid 3-2 start. That’s what happens when you take risks though. I could have told you the obvious like pick up Darren Sproles, which my Fantasy Football colleague told you to do earlier this week. Really? Should I pick up the guy who had 393 yards of total offense and 2 TDs last week on a team where the best running back in the league might be going down and they have an offensive line who eats more Wheaties than anyone EVER? Thanks for the suggestion… Ok ok, I am bitter, and now 4-5 for the season. The comeback begins now!
- Start QBs Jay Cutler/Drew Brees: They are playing eachother and it is going to be a high scoring one. Both defenses are going to be attacked and will fold early. Unlike my counterpart says, Cutler is NOT trade bait. He is the real deal just like I said in week 1. If somehow you have both, start Elway Cutler. Diggles combined line: 585 yards, 4 TDs, 1 pick.
- Sit WRs Ocho Cinco/TJ Housh: Guess what. This isn’t the week Carson Palmer is going to come out of his funk. And believe me, my fantasy team is feeling it. G-MEN. Diggles combined line: 101 yards, 1 TD.
Two weeks in the books and it’s already apparent that the Seahawks suck. Let’s focus on someone who performed better in the second week… me. Here were my suggestions from last week: Vernon Davis, 0 catches, 0 yards, 1 FAIL! - Genius. Matt Cassel, 165 yards passing, 0 TDs - Indifference (think of this as a long term investment). Donte Rosario, 1 catch, 6 yards - My Bad. Hank Baskett, 2 catches, 10 yards - Genius. Seattle, enough said - Genius (I hate to say this).
On to some guidance for week 3, this is where we start to separate the men from the boys:
Pick-up Darren Sproles, RB, San Diego - I’m not saying that LT is going down, just that there is plenty of offense on San Diego to go around. With Shawn Merriman out on the defensive side, look for SD to be scored on more and that means more kickoff returns for Sproles. This is a much better option than some first string RBs (read: Fred Taylor).
Hold on Ahmed Bradshaw, RB, NY Giants - This week is all about return yards, but Bradshaw got TDs from both rushing and receiving in week 2. Sounds like he was also in the coach’s doghouse the first week, so hopefully these are the kind of numbers to expect from him, until he decides to get into a fight at a strip club.
“Fuck!” This is probably the most frequently used word for the past two days if you are, 1) A New England Patriots Fan or 2) The lucky bastard who drafted Tom Brady in your fantasy football league. Sure, I dropped a couple f-bombs too, but they were followed by “Yes!” Sorry, Brady and I have a history.
On to the Waiver Wire Scramble after the first week:
Pick-up Matt Cassel, QB, New England: Even Brady’s illegitimate son could throw touchdown passes to Randy Moss, so Cassel should be able to as well. Sure the Patriots are currently holding QB tryouts (bring back Flutie!!!!), but it’s Cassel’s job to lose…which will probably happen if he can’t beat Mangini and the NY Jets next week.
Drop Vernon Davis, TE, San Fran:Diggles was right about Davis last year, but choose to start this over-hyped TE - I hope you all enjoyed his 3 catches and 51 yards. Next week the Niners play the Seahawks, which means more of the same with Davis. SF’s passing game relies on J.T. O’Sullivan, so until he gets his shit together, take your chance on someone else.
People close to the situation say Tom Brady is out for the season after tearing his ACL in today’s opening game. Fantasy owners….Randy Moss, uh oh. Wes Welker, uh oh. Lawrence Maroney, uh oh. Tom Brady, big uh oh. Giselle Bundchen, single! Matt Cassell, go pick him up ASAP. Same goes for Sammy Morris. Stay tuned….
Mr. “I’m starved for attention” Chad Johnson officially changed his name in Broward County, Fla. this week to include his self-given moniker “Ocho Cinco”. Johnson’s name is now Chad Javon Ocho Cinco. Looks like Carson Palmer won’t be able to rip the name off Chad’s back the next time he trots his crazy ass out on to the field with it on the back of his jersey.
Two years ago, Johnson gave himself the moniker — a reference in Spanish to his No. 85 — and put it on the back of his uniform before a game. Quarterback Carson Palmer ripped it off before the kickoff.
What a douche-rocket. Nobody needs a Spanish translation of the number that is printed in 250 point font on your goddamn back. I would probably feel differently about this if A) Chad actually had a cool nickname and B) someone other than himself had given it to him.
If Christian “Nigerian Nightmare” Okoye had decided to change his name to Christian Emeka Nigerian Nightmare I would totally support that. “Nigerian Nightmare” is probably to long for the back of a jersey but imagine how badass would it be to see a player trot out with “Nightmare” stitched above his numbers.
Back in July, the University of Michigan’s starter running back Kevin Grady was arrested for drunk driving. Results from two tests put his blood-alcohol level at .281 and .240, both of which are three times the legal limit of .08. The football player was actually passed out in the car asleep, but the car was on and in drive, luckily Grady’s foot was resting on the brake.
After finally waking up and becoming (somewhat) coherent, an officer questioned Grady at the scene:
The officer [Thompson] also wrote that Grady was off-balance and unable to recite the alphabet, with Thompson quoting Grady as saying “O, R, S, J, L, P.” Thompson said he asked for a number between 12 and 14, and Grady answered “15.” And when asked whether Mickey Mouse is a dog or a cat, he answered “dog.”
These answers may fly on tests at the University of Michigan, but welcome to the real world of the law! Although, to be fair, I would give him a half-point for “dog” - those big ears can be deceiving.
I’ve played my fair amount of pick-up and flag football games at QB and have definitely hung a couple receivers out to dry, but this quarterback throws the deep post perfectly. Seriously, are they playing under power lines or something? This post is just out in the middle of nowhere!
This is a bastard cheap shot from a guy who by all standards is most likely a huge dipshit. Don’t you remember the guys in the marching band at college? I do. They were all tools. Especially that f–king tuba player. Think twice before you cross one of these guys though. They use their instruments like samurai swords.
Pick-up Le’Ron McClain, RB, Baltimore - Has anyone heard of Joe Flacco before this season? No? Exactly. That’s Baltimore’s QB and the reason why the Ravens are near the top of the league in rushing this year. Willis McGahee continues to run hard and get banged up, leaving McClain plenty of opportunities to get carries, especially in short-yardage and goal-line situations. The Ravens even have a couple favorable match-ups in the coming weeks that could help bolster McClain’s fantasy stats.
