Innovations in your daily household items are few and far between - it’s going to be a while before someone finds a new way to slice bread or an alternative to toilet paper. But there’s a new shape to your gallon milk jug. The more compact, rectangular design helps with cutting production and transport costs. Although people complain about the ease of pouring with the new design.

The real question is if the new design will help you finish a whole gallon in an hour. Unlikely.

Our friends at No Regrets (see our review) present us with this weeks douchebag. When this man isn’t shirtless I would be hard pressed to believe he is ever caught without his popped pink polo.

What do you consider to be a “Douchebag” Party? Under my definition, it’s a party where the majority of the people are attending are not my friends, friends-friends, coworkers or acquaintances, therefore by default people fall into the “Douchebag” category.

For Memorial Day weekend, a group of students at Seattle University were putting together one last hurrah get-together (a.k.a. party) and went with the “Douchebag” theme. According to the Seattle Times, here is the appropriate attire:

Women were to wear Victoria’s Secret Pink-brand sweats or Abercrombie & Fitch clothing and talk constantly on their cellphones, according to the invitation on the social-networking site Facebook. Guys were to wear turned-up — “popped” — collars, aviator sunglasses and flip-flops.

When the school got word of the party, they quickly consulted their Code of Conduct and decided that this party wasn’t going to fly. This “parody” party was canceled and the kids were just forced to binge drink in their dorm rooms while making bad decisions in regular (read: non-douchebag) clothing.

Don’t worry kids, once you get out of college, there won’t be anyone around you to second guess your themed parties. I know this because we here at TastyBooze just received an Evite to “Guido Night.” And if Seattle U had anything to say about it, this party would have been shut down pronto - bronzer, spiky hair and all!

Original Story: The Chronicle of Higher Education

The thought of slam dunking during a beer pong game has probably crossed the minds of many who have played. In fact, yesterday Diggles and I were representing on the beer pong table during a BBQ pre-funk, and it crossed my mind after a few too many frustrating throws were effected by the wind. The video below features an old man going for the slam dunk. It looks like this is at a frat house and why he has his shirt off…I have no idea.

Via Deadspin.

Julie Landry, 46, was arrested on cruelty to a juvenile charges after it was reported that she made a student unclog a toilet with his hands. Trevor Williams, 7, reportedly used a few to many shit tickets and clogged up the toilet. When Landry found out about it she told Trevor that he had to go unplug the toilet and if he did it again she would make “him pull it out with his teeth.” Landry then forced Trevor to unclog the toilet with his bare hands.

I am sure most people find this story disgusting. Due to a shared life experience known as being fraternity brothers in the WSU greek system Honcho, Yerzimbeck, and I have a slightly different take on this story. Our email exchange is below.

Mitch Martin to Hank Yerzimbeck, Mike Honcho
Sent 5/14/08 1:29 p.m.
Subject: Check out this story

http://www.wxix.com/Global/story.asp?S=8316747

At least the kids classmates didn’t keep using the toilet before he had to clean it out.

Mike Honcho to Hank Yerzimbeck, Mitch Martin
Sent 5/14/08 1:34 p.m.
Subject: Re: Check out this story

Used too much toilet paper? Right. Either it was the greasiest shit ever, or this guy (7 year old) takes monster dumps.

Would have sucked to have to unclog it with his teeth…bobbing for turds?

Hank Yerzimbeck to Mike Honcho, Mitch Martin
Sent 5/14/08 3:18 p.m.
Subject: Re: Check out this story

I don’t see why you’d get fired for something like this. Maybe it’s just that living in a frat really changes your perspective on things like pulling poop out of a toilet and sliding on your stomach butt naked on a floor covered with beer and piss

Mitch Martin to Hank Yerzimbeck, Mike Honcho
Sent 5/14/08 3:23 p.m.
Subject: Re: Check out this story

Yeah it really desensitizes you to the whole “handling human feces” thing.

Of course to be fair the teacher should have at least given him a garbage bag to use as arm protection. That’s just common courtesy.

Hank Yerzimbeck toMitch Martin, Mike Honcho
Sent 5/14/08 3:37 p.m.
Subject: Re: Check out this story

agrizzled

To be fair Lexington also shared this life experience with us but I forgot to include him on the email thread. I know, I’m the asshole.

After a crushing 10-point loss last night in the great state of Pennsylvania, Barack Obama has decided to go another direction with his campaign.   Seeking the 18-22 frat boy vote, Abercrombie & Fitch is now apparently sponsoring him (see the most prominently displayed 3 dudes in the pic).  He may not win with this group, but at least he will learn how to beer bong and make disparaging remarks about Hillary Clinton being a MILF.  Good luck with that!  And props to CO-ED Magazine for their original post.  I saw this live last night during his concession speech, but was too busy making fun of Wolf Blitzer to post it.