I’m not a pilot but I am pretty sure you aren’t supposed to land your plane directly on top of another plane that is trying to take off. I can understand the guy on the ground not seeing the guy behind him but what is the landers excuse? No one was hurt in the accident which makes the only victims here diginity and self respect.

Original Story: Fox News

It’s been a while since we have had a Tasty Booze caption contest, but when I saw this picture yesterday I knew it was time to bring it back. That lucky little 12 year old bastard is Christian Elliott and he is hugging Jayde Nicole, the 2008 Playboy Playmate of the Year. Jayde returned to her home town of Port Perry, Ontario to sign autographs for fans.

Here’s the gig. You leave your best caption for the above photo and next Friday the Tasty Booze staff will pick one lucky winner who will receive a copy of Mario Kart Wii. The only requirement is that you give us a valid email address so that we can email you when you win and get your shipping address. The contest will be open until next Friday and you only get one shot. If you leave 5 comments only the first one is going to count towards winning Mario Kart.

Original Story: thestar.com — Product Page: Mario Kart Wii

We’ve all done the fist bump. Maybe your team just scored, maybe you just bowled a strike, maybe you just won a rap battle. These are all acceptable times to bump fists with a friend. The picture on the right, however, illustrates a time where it is definitely NOT okay to bump fists.

In case you’re wondering, these guys were celebrating the completion of a deal that brought a 42-mile rail corridor into public ownership.

Yeah, I know. That’s fucking boring. Look, if the fist bump is brought into areas where it clearly does not belong, where does it end? Will Obama get a fist bump from Bill Clinton right after he’s sworn in? Will we, someday soon, see a surgeon give a tearful wife a bump after successfully removing her husband’s brain tumor? Are you gonna fist bump your buddy after he sucks the rattlesnake venom out of your inner thigh?

So in an effort to help you out, we here at TastyBooze have devised a simple set of rules to aid you in appropriate fist bumping.

1. If sports are involved, fist bumping is always acceptable.
2. If you are wearing a suit, you may only fist bump if you are drunk. Or if you have just wrapped part of your suit around your forehead.
3. You may not fist bump under any circumstances, in a hospital. Unless Rule #1 (or Rule #2) applies.
4. Do not fist bump someone else’s misfortune, even if it helps you. Just look down, furrow your brow, and nod sternly.
5. No fist bumping between the hours of 7am and 10am. And if you’re watching sports at this time, it’s probably soccer or NASCAR, and then you should really not be fist bumping. High fives will suffice for both.
6. Do not fist bump in a meeting. Even if you are drunk.
7. Do not fist bump your children. Unless you’re drunk, then it’s OK.
8. Girls can fist bump anytime they want. And yes, guys think it’s cute.
9. Do not refuse a fist bump. If you, as a bumpee, believe the bumper is violating a rule, speak to him afterwards. Refusing his bump is not going to help anything.
10. Do not fist bump yourself.

Happy fist bumping, kids! And if any of you have any photographic examples of bad fist bumps, send them to us, and we will make it known!

On the left we have Dream Kelly a 23 year old from Hollywood or maybe Scottsdale. Anyway it looks like she is going the standard route of posting pictures of herself on MySpace in hopes that it lands a modeling gig. On the right we have Keeley Hazell a British bird that got famous the old fashion way by “leaking” a sex tape. Since then she has appeared in every major men’s magazine and she has landed a role in the upcoming Baywatch movie.

 Loading …

In honor of all the mother’s out there (and hopefully they don’t know this site exists), let’s give a shout to 41-year-old Michelle Duggar who is expecting her 18th child in a few months.  Yes, 18th.  The woman has been pregnant for 11 years of her life, with children ranging from 9 months to 20 years.  Holy shit.  Either 1) her husband has super sperm, 2) they really really love sex or 3) there are a lot of milkmen in the area.  After 11 years of pregnancy I just want to know what is holding those chitlens up there.   Actually, scratch that, I do not want to know.

That all being said, the best parts of the story are:

- Please take a guess at the husbands name.  Please.  Think Arkansas, religious, toothless maybe.  Ok, now, what percent of you guessed Jim Bob?  50%?  75% maybe?  Love it.

- And it’s just like good old Jim Bob to pass his name legacy along.  That’s right, all his kids names start with ‘J’.  Some classics include Josiah, Joy-Anna, and Jedidiah.  But the best is of course Jinger.  You may think that’s a Spice Girl, but throw a ‘J’ in there and it’s a whole new name son…

Source: Houston Chronicle

Unbelievable! Sure Catherine Bell is a little older but I thought I had this thing locked up for sure. Diggles has got to be paying people to vote for his chick. Winning by 20 votes on the last day is just to big of a coincidence. Either way here is the winner Laura Leigh. I can’t really find much about her but she is your typical hot MySpace girl who has done some modeling for Maxim.

Full Picture Set & Profile

MySpace - 5
Celebrity - 3

Check out past winners:
MySpace vs. Celebrity - Week 7 Winner
MySpace vs. Celebrity - Week 6 Winner
MySpace vs. Celebrity - Week 5 Winner
MySpace vs. Celebrity - Week 4 Winner
MySpace vs. Celebrity - Week 3 Winner
MySpace vs. Celebrity - Week 2 Winner
MySpace vs. Celebrity - Week 1 Winner

Yep, they’re still gross!

Our favorite girls at the annual Costume Institute gala at New York’s Metropolitan Museum of Art last week.  By the way, remember a few years ago, when everybody could not wait for these girls to grow up and be bombshells?  Me neither…

Source: MSN Movies

Another Monday and another hot lady to brighten up your Monday morning. Alley here is going for the cowgirl look. I like the Texas shout out on the back of her bikini.

Animal asshole tattoo #4! I can’t believe I found another one! I didn’t think anything was going to beat the monkey spreading his ass cheeks but I think this guy might have just grabbed the title. A cow’s ass with flies buzzing around!? Unbelievable. What convinces these douche bags that this is a good idea? I think that there has got to be a least a case of Natural Light Ice involved.

What is going on with this guy’s belly button? It looks like it just gave birth to a calf.

Hey, go big or go home, right? Sheyla Hershey, 28, is going so big that she has hit the limits of the law in her home state of Texas. Texas leads the nation in executions but by God they have standards of decency and a breast can only be so big. Apparently the law in Texas states that you can only have 1,000 cubic centimeters of silicone per breast, max. For those of you that have a hard time visualizing 1,000 cubic centimeters that is 33.8 ounces or about 2 pints of beer per fun bag. Add it up and Sheyla is walking around with about a half gallon of silicone in her chest. Her reason:

“I want to look better each day, every day. Everybody’s got a dream inside, you know? And, it’s good when you can make your dream come true,” Hershey said.

What is her dream? To be equipped with her own personal flotation device in the event of an airplane crash? Sheyla isn’t going to let a pesky little thing like state law stand in the way of her ginormous breast dreams. She already holds the world record for largest breast implants in Brazil’s version of the Guinness Book of World Records and she is reportedly planning on heading to Brazil to undergo surgery number nine and take things up a size.

Fox News via D Listed

Just when you thought 2-girls-1-cup-mania had finally died down and gone away some douche bag goes out and gets a tattoo that just brings it right back. I have seen some ridiculous tattoos in my day (most of which I have posted here) but this is definitely the most ridiculous shit I have ever seen. What kind of reason can this chucklehead come up with to explain to his kids (maybe this tattoo should be grounds for sterilization) why he has a tattoo of a girl shitting into a cup that another girl is holding?

It looks like he got the tattoo on the back of his leg. I hope this ass clown lives in a cold weather climate where he can where jeans all the time. He is never going to be able to pick up a chick while wearing shorts again. I would love to see the reactions when he shows this thing off at the next family BBQ. Mom and Dad are going to be so proud.

NOTE: Click on the blurred image to see the uncensored version in all its glory but be warned that it is literally a tattoo of two naked chicks, one of which is shitting into a cup. If you are at work build up some monitor blockage as necessary.

via Tons Of Tattoos

Mom: So cute! Look, he’s wearing a bandana, and he’s holding a beer just like daddy. A cigarette, kids can’t smoke! Hahahahaha.

Abused child: (tears welling behind terrible sunglasses)

Mom: Oh, I wish daddy was still here. I remember when he used to fix his bike in the kitchen, and make fun of me for being a woman.

Abused child: what’s a daddy?

Mom: Shut up! Gimmie that beer momma needs a drink.

Staci (mom’s trashy friend from New Jersey): Take a picture a ‘dis, an let’s get to Sully’s. I hear they got a special on cheap beer and broken dreams tonight.

Mom: Ok, hold on…Johnny, I’m going to pour some of this juice into your cup ok. Take a couple sips, ok.

Abused child: This tastes like poverty.

(10 minutes later)

Staci: He asleep, we need to git.

Mom: (Kisses Johnny on the forehead) ok, be good, I’m going to find a daddy.

(15 years later Johnny is sitting in the auditorium of Franklin High School taking his senior year pictures. He’s pleased that the Canadian flag lapel pin he found on the ground that morning that really sets off his black on black outfit.)

Senior quote: That’s what she said.

Moral: Giving a child a drink is not funny, it ruins lives.

“But it seems the vicar just thought Jemma was too hot and that her boobs were just too big.”

Looks like a local priest got a little hot and bothered when he saw the billboard that was put up outside his church. The billboard features an image of Jemma Palmer, 24, soon to be better known as Inferno when the U.K. version of American Gladiators begins airing on May 11th.

I can’t really blame the guy, it would be pretty hard to keep those impure thoughts in check if you saw the above picture every time you looked out the window. He probably got tired of constantly having a chubby. Besides what male, who is already stuck in church, is really going to pay attention when they can just stare out the window at Jemma?

Original Story: The London Paper

On the left we have 21 year old Laura Leigh from New York City. Don’t know much about her but you can’t argue with the fact that she is pretty hot. On the right we have Catherine Bell who is probably best known for playing a lawyer in the military drama J.A.G. I am looking to tie things up but I think it is going to be a pretty close battle this week.

 Loading …

I am no political expert like J Diggles and Mr. Wonka but I am pretty sure you need to have at least a few votes before you declare a candidate a winner.

I took the above screenshot off of CNN’s website at about 4 o’clock but I was stuck in a meeting all afternoon so I wasn’t able to post it in a timely manner. Either way I still think it is pretty funny regardless. Ease off the fancy red check mark graphic until you can confirm one of the candidates managed to get at least 1% of the vote.