Everyone has run into at least one situation where a phone call is required but you would rather punch yourself in the face than actually talk to the person. Maybe you are in a rush and you need to call that one buddy who can’t have a phone conversation that lasts less than thirty minutes. Maybe you want to leave your boss a message letting him know that you won’t be coming in without actually talking to him. Maybe you need to call the girl that you woke up next to last weekend but you really want to avoid the awkward phone conversation.
For those awkward situations and many more Slydial is here to help. The service couldn’t be more genius. Basically Slydail allows you to go straight to someone’s voicemail without having to sweat through the four or five rings it would normally take. The whole process is pretty simple. From any mobile or landline phone dial 267-SLYDIAL (267-759-3425) and then at the voice prompt enter the phone number that you would like to leave a voicemail for. At that point you will be sent directly to that person’s voicemail.
Of couse nothing in life is free. So when you ring up Slydial you will either have to listen to a short advertisement or cough up $0.15 per call. If you are a professional people dodger Slydial does offer subscription plans.
It’s laser engraved on the side, hence official. You can’t argue with that.
If you fancy yourself a little bit of a Jack Bauer of even a McGyver you might want to add this “bomb defuser” to kit of stuff that you carry around just in case you need to save the day. This official defuser comes with all the shit you will need to defuse a bomb. It’s got wire cutters, pliers, phillips and flat head screwdrivers, a few knife blades and some other bullshit. It should be noted that this does not come with any kind of instructions on how to actually defuse a bomb. So when the shit hits the fan and the timer is counting down you are still going to have to decide whether you cut the red wire or the blue wire. This official bomb defuser is going for about $22 after shipping but I am sure you could pick up a multi-tool that is probably better for about $10 at your local Home Depot.
If you have a 3G iPhone or an iPhone with firmware 2.0 and you happen to have a $3 burning a whole in your pocket you can buy iBeer from the App Store. Basically the application makes your iPhone appear like a real glass of beer. When you tilt the phone the beer tilts and if you turn the phone on it’s side to pour the fake beer the level of beer will go down.
Basically you can burn $3 on novelty beer that will entertain you for 10 minutes or you can spend that $3 on real beer which will help you do something useful like catch a buzz.
If you are curious about the kind of guy that would spend his time programming fake beer for the iPhone check out the video below for a demo of the program from the creator.
I will be the first to admit that I am a gadget nerd and while I was able to survive the initial onslaught of the iPhone last June I am having some real trouble today. I currently have a contract with T-Mobile (family plan, son) that I have no intention of breaking and it isn’t the 3G data speeds that are sucking me in because T-Mobile won’t have 3G until October, maybe. Goddamn ass clowns. Anyway the thing that is really revving up my gadget nerd engine is everything I have been reading about the brand new and wicked awesome App Store.
So immediately this morning after reading 15 App Store posts on two different gadget blogs I begin to hatch a plan that will get me a first generation 16GB iPhone. Then I read a post that first generation iPhones are going for $600 on Ebay and Craigslist. Supposedly because it is so hard to get the 3G phone without a contract. That is some horseshit. There is a new model the goddamn price should go down. This $600 price point does nothing but torpedo evil genius scheme of acquiring a first gen phone.
Now I am going to move on to plan B which happens to be you, the readers. If you have a first gen 16GB iPhone that you are looking to unload before you make the big upgrade and you are willing to cut me a deal let me know and maybe we can transact some business. Email me at mitchmartin [at] tastybooze.com.
There are certain games made for guys just sitting around and drinking. Air hockey might be the most dangerous, if you lose your focus and put your fingers over the rail, that disc/puck is going to get you. Well, if you fancy yourself a decent air hockey player, now you have a worthy opponent.
The guys at NuVation won an award over the weekend at some nerd technology convention/ summit/ expo/ whatever. They designed a robot that is pretty effing awesome at air hockey. It doesn’t look that great on the offensive attack, but it’s going to be harder than hell to get one by robot. Watch the video for the details and nerd-speak to understand how they did it.
The post includes a chart entitled, “The Authentic Women’s Penis Size Preference Chart.” Although not explicit, we’ll just assume this chart refers to their preference for sex, not just in general or for one act or another (read: blowjob). The chart has five categories: Ideal (Perfect), Very Satisfying, Satisfying, Enjoyable and Not Satisfying. The “Ideal” range is pretty much any pecker between 7″ and 8″ long, with a circumference of 6.25″ to 6.5″. Surprisingly there are some women out there that find a circumference of 7.5″ to be enjoyable. In comparison, the beer bottle at my desk (don’t ask) has a circumference of about 7.5″.
In discussions with Bill Brasky, we came to these conclusions:
1. Women might have a hard time (literally) measuring circumference correctly.
2. Women probably don’t know what circumference means.
3. The average women’s wrist is 7″ in circumference, so…
The best part about this article is the discussion that takes place in the comments section. It’s definitely worth a read.
I don’t claim to know much in life, but there are two things that I know for certain. One, when hot chicks go out to a club they love to play with gadgets, and two, said hot girls love sending cheesy text messages like “You’re so HOT…got sunscreen?” to strange guys across the bar. These two rules of life are central to a new video advertisement for the Microsoft Surface in the Rio’s i-Bar in Las Vegas.
For those of you who aren’t up on your geek, the Microsoft Surface is a multi-touch table similar to the wall in Minority Report that has been under development for the better part of the last three years. In typical Microsoft fashion the Surface was cutting edge when they hyped it three years ago, but after the long delay to market it doesn’t seem nearly as impressive considering things like the iPhone.
Personally, I think the Surface is begging for a life sized version of RubMyClit, the popular iPhone game loved by our own reader FrankTheTank. I mean what better way is there to impress hot girls in a Vegas club then by showing them the skills that will bring them pleasure later in the evening?
I know that we are a day late and that every site on the web has done some kind of post about the 3G iPhone but I think we would be remiss if we didn’t post something about it. I am not going to burn through a bunch or words describing the features. We all know about the built-in GPS, 3G connectivity, improved battery life, App Store and the renamed .mac service mobileme.
Basically I wanted to do two things with this post. First I wanted to say that I don’t yet have a full fledged iBoner but I’m definitely rolling with an iChubby. I am not going to switch providers and sign a contract with AT&T so I will have to wait for the geniuses to do their work and crack this new iPhone before I pick one up. Second, I wanted to point out that in the post I wrote last week about Bodog offering lines on what would be announced at WWDC I chose the winning bet.
I think the best looking bet is the “Will Apple announce a “thin” iPhone? “ paying out +150 on the “No”.
While the iPhone 3G is “thinner at the edges” Apple definitely did not announce a dedicated “thin” iPhone. It would be a whole lot cooler if I had had the balls to actually put some money on that line but I will just settle for being right.
I don’t know about you guys but this looks exactly like a party I was at last Friday night. Hot chicks in their underwear binge drinking by shoving 24 ounces of delicious ice cold beer down each others throats. Really it was a hell of a time.
With the tired old homemade beer bong you have to wait for slow ass gravity to send your ice cold beer down your throat. Those days are over. With the Bierstick you need just 24 ounces of beer and a semi-sold object such as a boob, wall, or even a forehead and you will be ready to start sending beer down your throat at rocket like speeds. If you can’t tell from the picture the Bierstick is basically just a giant syringe. Fill it with beer, press the plunger and then ta-da you are on your way to drunk town.
Hit the read more link for the full set of stick figure Bierstick instructions.
Already got money set aside for that 3G iPhone that you think Apple is going to announce at the WWDC on June 9th? Why don’t you put that money on the line and see if you can pay for your new iPhone with your confidence instead of your hard earned cash. I think the best looking bet is the “Will Apple announce a “thin” iPhone? “ paying out +150 on the “No”. Rumors have run rampant on both sides of the thin issue. Some say the 3G version will be thinner and others say that it will be slightly thicker. I think Apple will announce 3G and more features in the same size packaging.
Will Apple announce a 32GB iPhone? With “Yes” paying -300 and “No” paying +200.
Will Apple announce a “thin” iPhone? With “Yes” paying -200 and “No” paying +150.
Will Apple announce a 3G iPhone? With “Yes” paying -500 and “No” paying +300.
Will Apple announce a 32GB, 3G, “thin” iPhone? With “Yes” paying -130 and “No” paying -120.
Will Apple’s stock (APPL) close higher or lower than its opening value on June 9? “Higher” pays -200 and “Lower” pays +150.
The following will be remedial for most Tasty Boozers but if these gambling lines don’t make sense to you here is a quick explanation.
The minus is the favorite and the plus is the underdog. So, taking the first bet as an example -300 means that you pay $3 to win $1 on the other side the +200 means that you pay $1 to win $2. If you bet $100 on the -300 your pay out would be about $133.33 (original $100 + $33.33 in winnings). If you bet $100 on the +200 your payout would be $300 (original $100 + $200 in winnings).
National Masturbation Day has come and gone and a new champ has been crowned. Actually, to be fair co-champs. Norihiro Taneichi and Masanobu Sato flogged their purple headed monsters for 8 hours and 40 minutes. That’s right eight goddamn hours. That four minutes you spend in the shower ain’t got shit on these guys. However these new record holders didn’t do it unassisted. They were using a product called the Tenga Adult Concept orgasim cup. The Tenga isn’t just some keg cup filled with jello, the thing is a top-of-the-line jackoff machine. It’s got nubs, ripples, suction basically everything you want in a good masturbating gadget.
The Tenga isn’t available stateside but I expect some of you enterprising bastards to get a few of these things imported and then get your practice on so that we can bring the championship home next year.
Then you better fire up your PDA or cell phone and download Trapster ASAP. Trapster allows users to report in real time the location of speed traps or speed cameras in their area. Sort of like Twitter but without all the human genitalia jokes. It looks pretty sick in the live demo (below). If you are cruising down the block in your six-four and notice the local fuzz camped out behind some bushes you simply press #1 on your phone and a real time update is sent to Trapster. Now the next Trapster user that rolls into the area will get an SMS alert along with an audio notification that the 5-0 is in the vicinity.
What’s better than a dildo-copter interrupting a Russian press conference? How about a pissed off security guard jumping up to whack the dick and balls in mid-air, followed up by a hard boot stomp right to the nuts. Well, the dildo’s nuts, but you get the picture. How’d these guys make that thing? Look out world! Soon there’ll be big rubber penises flying around everywhere. If only we could ride in them…
The Teste Touch works just like the ball sack of any man on this planet. It rises and falls based on temperature. If the Teste Touch is looking a little high and tight you can give it a rub and as the temperature increases the balls will drop.
Teste Touch is an interactive installation that mimics the human anatomy. In the same vein as Matthew Barney’s Cremaster series, our installation is based on the natural interaction between the male reproductive organs and their environment. Teste Touch’s hanging scrotum responds to temperature by ascending or descending, highlighting the function of the cremaster muscle. Without a working cremaster muscle, the sperm can easily overheat, killing them and rendering a man sterile.
Hit the Gizmodo link for video of the Teste Touch in action.
Take everything with a grain of salt today, it’s April Fools. Luckily, I was already on the up-and-up after a lame attempt at an April Fools joke this morning with my roommate. So when I logged into my GMail account and noticed a new feature, I was immediately skeptical.
GMail is promoting this this called “GMail Custom Time.” It allows people to back-date their e-mails, so if you forgot to send an important message (say to wish someone a happy birthday or remind that girl you hooked up with over the weekend to pop the morning after pill), GMail is here to save the day. Unfortunately for all of you who think this is a good idea, it is, of course, an April Fools joke.
If you start to read into the information about the service and testimonials, I really hope it becomes apparent to all:
How does it work?
Gmail utilizes an e-flux capacitor to resolve issues of causality.
How come I only get ten?
Our researchers have concluded that allowing each person more than ten pre-dated emails per year would cause people to lose faith in the accuracy of time, thus rendering the feature useless.
The e-flux capacitor should have been the red flag that just slapped you across the face. So beware, watch your back and remember to take precaution today, it’s April Fools.
