If you love snapping pictures with your new iPhone but constantly think yourself, “Goddamn it, this thing really needs a zoom lens!” then Brando is here to save the day. For only $19 you can pick up this 6x zoom lens that attaches to your iPhone. It doesn’t appear to collapse in any way so carrying this thing around in your pocket or in your sweet belt holster probably won’t happen. On the plus side you would be able to snap those upskirt photos from 6x farther away.
I really have my doubts if any kind of zoom lens that only costs $19 could actually work but that price point is just low enough that if I had an iPhone I would probably get one just to try it.
“I Am Rich” does exactly what it sounds like it would do. It proclaims to the whole world that you are the douchiest iPhone owner with the most superflous cash flow on the block. How does it convey this message you ask? Well it is actually quite simple, it displays a red gem on your iPhone. Yep, that red gem in the to right there is what is displayed. Oh yeah, and if you click the “(i)” in the corner a message will come up that “may help to you stay rich, healthy and successful.” I can tell you the first step to being rich and successful. It’s don’t by this douchebag application for $999.99. Oh, did I forget to mention that? “I Am Rich” will cost you a cool one g-unit or a little more than 3x what you paid for the phone if you got it on a contract.
This might be the best get rich quick scheme ever. I mean it would only take 10 idiots for this developer to make $10k and I think we all know that there are at least 10 idiots in the world.
Our buddies over at 40cozy.com have developed their own little slice of iPhone App Store genius. Their app called pour1out! lets you use your iPhone to pour out a little malt liquor for your homies. Now you are probably saying big deal I have already invested in iBeer which makes my whole screen look like a mug of beer. Well here is where pour1out! kicks the shit out of iBeer. With the touch of a single button pour1out! will find the nearest liquor store to your location. That’s right, this isn’t just some gag beer-pouring-iPhone-bullshit, this app actually has some functionality.
Check out the demo and head over to 40cozy.com to pick up pour1out! and a 40 cozy to keep that malt liquor cool once you make it back from the liquor store.
If you have a 3G iPhone or an iPhone with firmware 2.0 and you happen to have a $3 burning a whole in your pocket you can buy iBeer from the App Store. Basically the application makes your iPhone appear like a real glass of beer. When you tilt the phone the beer tilts and if you turn the phone on it’s side to pour the fake beer the level of beer will go down.
Basically you can burn $3 on novelty beer that will entertain you for 10 minutes or you can spend that $3 on real beer which will help you do something useful like catch a buzz.
If you are curious about the kind of guy that would spend his time programming fake beer for the iPhone check out the video below for a demo of the program from the creator.
I will be the first to admit that I am a gadget nerd and while I was able to survive the initial onslaught of the iPhone last June I am having some real trouble today. I currently have a contract with T-Mobile (family plan, son) that I have no intention of breaking and it isn’t the 3G data speeds that are sucking me in because T-Mobile won’t have 3G until October, maybe. Goddamn ass clowns. Anyway the thing that is really revving up my gadget nerd engine is everything I have been reading about the brand new and wicked awesome App Store.
So immediately this morning after reading 15 App Store posts on two different gadget blogs I begin to hatch a plan that will get me a first generation 16GB iPhone. Then I read a post that first generation iPhones are going for $600 on Ebay and Craigslist. Supposedly because it is so hard to get the 3G phone without a contract. That is some horseshit. There is a new model the goddamn price should go down. This $600 price point does nothing but torpedo evil genius scheme of acquiring a first gen phone.
Now I am going to move on to plan B which happens to be you, the readers. If you have a first gen 16GB iPhone that you are looking to unload before you make the big upgrade and you are willing to cut me a deal let me know and maybe we can transact some business. Email me at mitchmartin [at] tastybooze.com.
I know that we are a day late and that every site on the web has done some kind of post about the 3G iPhone but I think we would be remiss if we didn’t post something about it. I am not going to burn through a bunch or words describing the features. We all know about the built-in GPS, 3G connectivity, improved battery life, App Store and the renamed .mac service mobileme.
Basically I wanted to do two things with this post. First I wanted to say that I don’t yet have a full fledged iBoner but I’m definitely rolling with an iChubby. I am not going to switch providers and sign a contract with AT&T so I will have to wait for the geniuses to do their work and crack this new iPhone before I pick one up. Second, I wanted to point out that in the post I wrote last week about Bodog offering lines on what would be announced at WWDC I chose the winning bet.
I think the best looking bet is the “Will Apple announce a “thin” iPhone? “ paying out +150 on the “No”.
While the iPhone 3G is “thinner at the edges” Apple definitely did not announce a dedicated “thin” iPhone. It would be a whole lot cooler if I had had the balls to actually put some money on that line but I will just settle for being right.
Already got money set aside for that 3G iPhone that you think Apple is going to announce at the WWDC on June 9th? Why don’t you put that money on the line and see if you can pay for your new iPhone with your confidence instead of your hard earned cash. I think the best looking bet is the “Will Apple announce a “thin” iPhone? “ paying out +150 on the “No”. Rumors have run rampant on both sides of the thin issue. Some say the 3G version will be thinner and others say that it will be slightly thicker. I think Apple will announce 3G and more features in the same size packaging.
Will Apple announce a 32GB iPhone? With “Yes” paying -300 and “No” paying +200.
Will Apple announce a “thin” iPhone? With “Yes” paying -200 and “No” paying +150.
Will Apple announce a 3G iPhone? With “Yes” paying -500 and “No” paying +300.
Will Apple announce a 32GB, 3G, “thin” iPhone? With “Yes” paying -130 and “No” paying -120.
Will Apple’s stock (APPL) close higher or lower than its opening value on June 9? “Higher” pays -200 and “Lower” pays +150.
The following will be remedial for most Tasty Boozers but if these gambling lines don’t make sense to you here is a quick explanation.
The minus is the favorite and the plus is the underdog. So, taking the first bet as an example -300 means that you pay $3 to win $1 on the other side the +200 means that you pay $1 to win $2. If you bet $100 on the -300 your pay out would be about $133.33 (original $100 + $33.33 in winnings). If you bet $100 on the +200 your payout would be $300 (original $100 + $200 in winnings).
Apple has filed a recent patent application that looks like an iPhone flip-phone in the works. Our friends at Engadget don’t want to get your hopes up too much, as patent applications come and go sometimes with nothing to show.
Judging by the images, it looks like Apple is going to take the Motorola Razr and just incorporate a dual-touch screen instead of a keypad and screen. Brilliant!
Hopefully Apple will find a way to keep this version of the iPhone under $600. Although my current BlackBerry Curve doesn’t show it, I have an affinity for flip-phones. For some reason, I just like the security of knowing that with it closed, I’m not going to be scratching up the screen or randomly dialing people when my phone is in my pocket. Just make sure they keep the coolapplications.
Maybe this will be ready in time for Christmas or at least MacWorld 2009!
I don’t know how long cops and doughnut jokes have been around but I would guess that it is something just shy of forever. It looks like the iPhone might be making a run as the number one item distracting law enforcement officers from doing their job. Reader Ian sent in this picture last week of a cop in downtown San Francisco completely engrossed with his iPhone. Ironically this picture was snapped by Ian’s buddy with…you guessed it…another goddamn iPhone.
Somebody could be getting mugged just off the right edge of this photo and this cop would probably still be completely engrossed with his weather widget. Of course I guess he could be doing something useful like using RubMyClit to brush up on his lady pleasing skills and keep the wife happy.
If you have been holding off on an iPhone or iPod Touch purchase due to lack of storage today might be the day you want to jump on the bandwagon. Both models have had their storage doubled and consequently their prices increased. The 16GB iPhone will set you back $499 while the 32GB iPod Touch rings up at the exact same $499. No 3G data so this is definitely not the much rumored iPhone 2.0 it is just your basic memory boost.
I still think that RubMyClit is the best app for the iPhone (it teaches you to pleasure ladies) but this new weather app from Maxim is definitely a close second. I know seeing a nice set of boobies would make me reconsider slitting my wrists after finding out that Seattle was in for it’s 28th straight day of rain.
Steve Jobs didn’t announce any iPorn while he was on stage this morning in his standard black turtle neck and jeans but I figured some of you might be interested in the things he did announce. I sacrificed my first of hour work to watching the Gizmodo live feed from the keynote so that I could summarize all the details here for you. You’re welcome.
Time Capsule - An external hard drive that works with Time Machine to allow you to wireless backup all of the Macs in your house to the Time Capsule. It will be available in both 500GB and 1TB flavors.
iPhone Updates - SMS to multiple people (welcome to 2002), webclips, multiple customized home screens and Maps based on cellular or Wi-Fi triangulation. All new iPhone features will be available on the iPod Touch as well.
iTunes Movie Rentals - Every major studio is on board to begin offering movie rentals via iTunes. There will be 1K films available by Feburary with standard titles going for $2.99 and new releases going for $3.99. Movies will be available 30 days after DVD release and will be availabe for viewing for 24 hours after download. The movies can be transferred between devices during that 24 hours. So you could start a movie on your PC and then finish it on your iPod during your flight.
Apple TV Take 2 - With the new Apple TV connected to your flat screen you can rent iTunes movies, rent HD movies with 5.1 surround sound, watch YouTube videos, view photos via .mac or flickr, watch video podcasts and buy iTunes music. No computer is required to run AppleTV Take 2, just the unit and an TV. The Apple TV Take 2 will also drop in price to $229.
The MacBook Air - The world’s smallest notebook weighing in at 3.0 lbs and measuring 0.76 inches at it’s thickest point to 0.16 inches at it’s thinnest point. It comes with 1.6 GHz Core 2 Duo an 80GB hard drive, 2GB RAM, WiFi, bluetooth, a 13.3″ LED backlit display, a full size LED backlit keyboard and 5 hours of battery life with WiFi turned on. It will retail for $1799 and be available in two weeks.
That’s the run down. All in all some pretty cool upgrades to existing products and a confirmation that the MacBook Air does exist. Head to the Apple Store now and start blowing that tax return you are going to get next month.
Nerds across the globe are taking some time to rest up this weekend in anticipation of what many think is the best week of the year. Yes, I am talking about MacWorld. The luckiest and richest nerds will be flocking to San Francisco (probably a short trip for the majority who reside in the Bay Area). MacWorld is the annual band camp expo put on by Apple to showoff all the cool things you can’t do on a PC.
What are we to expect this year? An updated iPhone? New design of a Mac laptop? Some complicated software applications that I will have no idea how to use? Or just more things that start with “i”? An even smaller iPod?
There is a pretty good chance this is all you’ll hear about MacWorld from TastyBooze coverage, unless there is a major announcement like iPorn - which both Mitch Martin and J Diggles will probably post about, likely 5 minutes apart. So, if you want to follow the news of MacWorld or be one of the first nerds to buy whatever is announced, keep refreshing the Apple.com site.
I came across this on BoingBoing Gadgets this morning and I couldn’t pass it up. The project page is NSFW so I decided to borrow Joel’s description instead of risking a look while I am at my desk.
Tim Vandecasteele has create a web application for the iPhone designed to teach men how to digitally pleasure a woman’s nethers—if only female reproductive organs were as sensitive as a perfectly smooth sheet of hardened glass. I’ll never be in an uncomfortable, unfulfilling relationship with a patio door again!
It’s called “RubMyClit.” I feel dirty just typing that, but I have a duty to you, the reader.
I already know how a few of my iPhone owning friends are going to be spending their weekend.
UPDATE: So we loaded up RubMyClit on my buddy Frank’s iPhone last night. It is fucking awesome and hoolarious all at the same time. The best part was that we were in a crowded bar and Frank was holding his iPhone up in the air for all to see just rubbing the shit out of the fake clit. If you have an iPhone or a friend with one do everyone around you a favor and check it out.
