I didn’t even realize that the roundhouse kick was a common move that was used outside of action films involving Chuck Norris, but this guy has it down. He’s even good enough to hit the part of the head that doesn’t have any protection. Damn.

The new season of the funniest show on television, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, starts Sept. 18th, and the gang have given us the following hilarious video to tide us over.

Look out for the sexy cameo by Margaret McPoyle, the girl so hot, her eyebrows are fighting over her face (be sure to remember this is all done through the magic of television, in reality the actress who portrays her, Thesy Surface, is pretty darn cute!)!

Many give credit to RZA as being the production brains behind the Wu-Tang’s success, he’s produced many of the clan’s solo projects and now has higher aspirations to move to the silver screen (read: movies). According to Ain’t It Cool News, the RZA is going to make his writing-directing debut with a film called “The Man With The Iron Fist.” With the infatuation of kung-fu, it’s no surprise that RZA is going to tackle this genre. And you know it’s going to be effing awesome!

The RZA or Bobby Digital - his Wu-Tang alter ego - was rumored to be working on an upcoming movie based on his other persona, and even some recent videos on YouTube suggest he’s working on something. In the meantime, you can enjoy the RZA’s recently released single “You Can’t Stop Me Now”:

Next time you hold a target for ol’ Van Damme over there, make sure to keep the vitals covered. Aye yie yie!

The incident happened around 1pm at the zoo in Xicheng District. An official from the zoo said a boy climbed into the park without buying a ticket and then jumped into the panda habitat, the report said. Media reports had conflicting account of his age, which is either 12 or 15.

“The panda even followed him onto a slide and then bit him on the legs,” Wang said. Doctors said his wound was very deep and the bone was exposed.

Why is it that people always think pandas are the va-jay-jays of the bear world? Is it the black and white coloring that makes people think they are just a big animal to be cuddled? They are called a “bear” for an effing reason. Sure they might just hang out and eat bamboo but that doesn’t mean they don’t know how to kick some ass. If this was any other kind of bear this kid wouldn’t have jumped in that cage even if he had Bruce Lee like karate skills.

Original Story: ShanghaiDaily.com

Last week we predicted our beloved TastyBooze sponsored flag-football team, Lofa Ta-Two-Peat (LTTP), would mop the floor with their opponents this weekend. However, the winless Sweep the Leg were able to tap their inner Karate Kid and stay in the game until the very end. Wax on… wax off.

Two first half interceptions put LTTP in the hole against Sweep the Leg, as their inept offense from weeks prior seemed to hitting on all cylinders - taking advantage of the turnovers for a two-score lead at halftime. LTTP channeled their name sake (Seattle Seahawks’ Linebacker Lofa Tatupu, for those of you living under a rock) to step it up on the defensive side of the ball for the second half. A first position turnover, followed by a quick LTTP score brought the team within striking distance. Sweep the Leg put together a determined drive down the field, only to be stonewalled by LTTP’s stifling defense, which was also aided by a couple ill-timed offensive penalties.

LTTP had the momentum and would soon have the lead. After trading quick scoring drives again, with LTTP scoring with just under a minute to play to take a six point lead, the defense was called on again to come up with a big stop. Sweep the Leg was as determined as Daniel-san against the Cobra Kai, as they marched down the field, but again had their problems in the red zone. On 4th and Goal, with 7 seconds to play, Sweep the Leg was hit with a Crane Kick to the stomach as LTTP preserved the victory with an interception in the end zone. Final score: 35 - 29. LTTP’s quarterback shook off a rough start to take home player of the game honors - throwing for three touchdowns, running for two and nabbing the interception to seal the game (that’s at least 25 fantasy points for those of you scoring at home).

LTTP will square off against second-place Multiple Scoregasm this weekend. A win will secure LTTP’s seat atop the standings and a first-round bye in the playoffs. LTTP will again play loose on the defensive side of the ball to prevent any scoregasms.

This no nonsense ref doesn’t take any shit. I love the finger wag!

I love me some funny ass ninjas.

The premise is simple, in 2003 NBC merged with Universal and as a result Conan O’Brien is allowed to pull a lever and show Walker Texas Ranger clips anytime he wants. A match in comedy heaven.

Nobody told this poor 12 year old bastard about the existence of a man named Bruce Lee and now he is pissed.

You say you love me, and yet there is a man who can jump like four feet into the air and kick a guy five times before landing—and you kept it from me. That can hardly be called love.

Let me make one thing perfectly clear to avoid any misunderstandings like this in the future: If you know of any men who can casually stand on live cobras while sending a telegram, or scissor kick a dude who’s still hanging onto his foot, alert me immediately.

Do yourself a favor and check out his full rant. Why Was I Not Informed About Bruce Lee?

While it is no Bauer Power this is still a pretty sweet ass t-shirt.

I Kick it With Chuck Norris

Napoleon Dynamite: You know, there’s like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I’m pretty good with a bo staff.

I would definitely want this kid in my gang. The announcers keep calling him Wayne but I think that might be Chuck Norris in an 8 year old sized body.

When everyone in the room is wearing white you don’t fuck with the guy in blue.

This a pretty funny article about a 100 year old British man who hasn’t lost his fight. Buster Martin was heading home from a night at the pub when a group of teenagers thought he would be easy pickings for a mugging.

Long story short Buster broke out some Kung-Fu moves and sent the pack of bastards running. Despite taking a trip to the hospital for a couple of bumps and bruises Buster made it to work the next day.

To summarize.
1. Man 100 years old.
2. Spends night at pub.
3. Kicks teenagers ass Kung-Fu style.
4. Shows up to work the next day.

I think most people just hope to be able to wipe their own ass at 100.

100 Year Old Man Kicks Teenage Gang’s Ass with ‘Kung Fu’