Meet Petey P. Cup. The 6-foot-11, walking urine vial is being unveiled today as the mascot of HealthPartners’ new website and advertising campaign. The campaign appears aimed at a younger demographic that understands irony, YouTube and social networking.

I bet they didn’t tell Chris in his job interview that “Senior Communications Specialist” meant “The dude that dresses up in the piss cup suit”.

I don’t know about anyone else but it makes me want to pee in a cup.

Original Story: MinnPost

The Chicago Bulls’ mascots have been getting into some shit lately. He’s been busted for slangin’ weed out of his car, charged with socking an off-duty police officer, accused of shooting t-shirts at Kevin Garnett, and now a lawsuit has been filed against Benny the Bull for tossing a dentist to the floor and tearing his bicep.

Benny was running down the aisles of the United Center about two months ago, slapping high fives with Bull’s fans when he tripped and grabbed Dr. Don Kalant’s arm to brace himself. Well, the dentist, being the 2nd-row pussy that he is, couldn’t handle the weight and fell, hyper-extending his arm and rupturing his bicep. Kalant stayed for the rest of the game and then went to the doctor. The impending surgery is said to have forced Kalant to miss 4 months of work as well as $80,000 in lost income.

Benny should have kicked this guy’s ass. Apparently he has the track record to show he’s capable. You know the dentist was PUMPED to be giving Benny a high five, and Benny was happy to do it. Now the bastard is threatening Benny’s livelihood.

I hate fucking dentists.

Actually, if someone were to cause me to rupture my bicep, they wouldn’t be around anymore to sue. My guns would rupture them first!