Let’s recap. Tasty Booze readers would rather:

- Be allergic to beer over having their penis shrink an inch
- Go without their cell phone for a year over having to use dial-up internet
- Have to go on all 1st dates with their 8th grade hair style over 8th grade clothing

I like where this is going. But clearly we have strayed from the penis jokes for too long. So here we go. Remember to vote and comment if you have any clarification questions.

“Would you rather go without sex for an entire year or go without tending (shaving/trimming/plucking) any of the hair on your body for an entire year?”

Mitch Martin: “Are we talking just sex sex, or all hooking up activities?”
J Diggles: “Just sex sex.”

Baba Ganoush: “Can you just seep yourself in Nair and do away with it all?”
J Diggles: “Don’t try to cheat me. No.”

Mr Wonka: “Can you shave everything completely before day one?”
J Diggles: “Sure.”

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If you have been contemplating rocking the mustache but you aren’t sure which style you want to go with the Mustache Hankerchief is here to help. By simply folding down any one of the four corners you can see how a different mustache would look on you.

Each handkerchief has 4 prints of mustaches inspired by Salvador Dali, Tom Selleck, The Classic Handlebar, and some baseball player from the 80s!!

Which one is the Tom Selleck? I am guessing it must be the top one in the picture above. I think I would look good with a little Magnum P.I. mustache action however I have a feeling my lady friend would disagree. The good news is she just left town to do some house sitting so I can get a solid three day head start on the bad boy before she even knows what is happening. Commence mustache growing, now.

Product Page via Uncrate