You try to give your child one of the following names:

A) Fish and Chips
B) Yeah Detroit
C) Keenan Got Lucy
D) Sex Fruit
E) Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii

Actually all of the above names were submitted by parents in New Zealand to the office of the registrar general of Births, Deaths and Marriages, and all of them except one was rejected. Got any guesses as to which name a little girl has been living with the for last nine years? If you guessed Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii then you are the big winner. A judge in New Zealand recently made Talula a ward of the court so that the court could legally change her name. Apparently the girl was so embarrassed (can’t blame her there) that not even her closest friends knew her real name.

Not a single one of the kids whose parents tried to give them one of the above names has a shot. Sex Fruit!? What the fuck do you have to be smoking to think that is a good name for a kid. Can’t we come up with some kind of aptitude test?

Original Story: Yahoo News

Is that Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie? Jesus, I’ve never seen a couple of bigger bitches…
Hey, I might not buy cookies from those little fuckers everytime I see them at the store, but I’ve never once contemplated taking their money. That’s like walking up to the guy in the Santa outfit, ringing the bell, and sticking your hand in his bucket and taking the change he’s collected over the last few hours, standing in the fucking cold. Assholes.

Jesse Laboiteaux, 18, was trying to sneak into his 15 year old girlfriend’s window for what I can only imagine was a late night rendezvous of some sort. When he made it into the room he found that his girlfriend was not home, but her dad was. As you can imagine, pops wasn’t too keen on an 18 year old crawling into his daughter’s window, and it looks like he expressed those feelings to Jesse by introducing him to his fist. Twice.

Jesse ended up with a couple of black eyes courtesy of pops, along with burglary and assault charges courtesy of the local PD.

First of all, if you are 18 and you are chasing 15 year olds you are begging for trouble. Second, call ahead. Everyone over the age of 11 has a cell phone now. If you are going to try to pull these window shenanigans at least call and make sure the chick is there. What was his plan, wait around until she got home and then surprise her with a chubby?

Original Story: WCPO

In honor of all the mother’s out there (and hopefully they don’t know this site exists), let’s give a shout to 41-year-old Michelle Duggar who is expecting her 18th child in a few months.  Yes, 18th.  The woman has been pregnant for 11 years of her life, with children ranging from 9 months to 20 years.  Holy shit.  Either 1) her husband has super sperm, 2) they really really love sex or 3) there are a lot of milkmen in the area.  After 11 years of pregnancy I just want to know what is holding those chitlens up there.   Actually, scratch that, I do not want to know.

That all being said, the best parts of the story are:

- Please take a guess at the husbands name.  Please.  Think Arkansas, religious, toothless maybe.  Ok, now, what percent of you guessed Jim Bob?  50%?  75% maybe?  Love it.

- And it’s just like good old Jim Bob to pass his name legacy along.  That’s right, all his kids names start with ‘J’.  Some classics include Josiah, Joy-Anna, and Jedidiah.  But the best is of course Jinger.  You may think that’s a Spice Girl, but throw a ‘J’ in there and it’s a whole new name son…

Source: Houston Chronicle

I don’t know exactly how old this kid is, but I am pretty sure he’s too old to be wearing a leash, and I am Goddamn positive he is too old to be wearing a teddy bear leash. My God this kid must get made fun of. I wonder if his Dad walks him to school strapped in and un-clips him to let him run to class. You know the Dad will get stabbed before the kid turns 18.