What kind of an ass clown would pay for a billboard with the image of the twin towers burning?
The answer is Mike Meehan a businessman and musician. The “Please Don’t Vote For a Democrat” slogan on the board isn’t just a political statement it’s the title of Mike’s hot new track. That’s right, this dipshit put up this billboard to promote a song. Nothing like using the deaths of 3,000 people to pimp your music. Wait, which party was in office when the towers were attacked? And which party was in office when we decided to stop fighting the pricks that actually attacked us and go start a war in a completely unrelated country? And which party was in office when the second war became completely and totally fucked because the chuckleheads in office that started it don’t know the first thing about the people they are fighting?
I’m no political expert but I am pretty sure it wasn’t the democrats.
While we don’t shy away from political commentary here at Tasty Booze, we are less likely to take a political stand one way or the other given the breadth of staff opinions on most issues. But John McCain has attacked us at the core and finally gone too far. Often a lovable guest on The Jon Stewart Show, guest star in Wedding Crashers, and conductor of the Straight Talk Express, McCain is usually a pretty cool guy. For a 70 year-old at least. But here at Tasty Booze we have uncovered his dirty little secret and we are determined to spread the word across the United States.
In a recent speech airing on MSNBC and posted below, Senator McCain firmly denounces our favorite past time in declaring that he “WILL VETO EVERY SINGLE BEER…” Why? Why, Senator, why? Between war, the fledgling economy, gas prices, and global warming, you have decided to take on the one thing we really need in today’s world to get to sleep at night? This is especially alarming when contrasted to Mr. Obama, who is often seen enjoying a tasty hops-based beverage. In fact, the Illinois Senator has even had beer named after him by East African Breweries Limited in his fathers native Kenya and by Brooklyn, NY’s own Sixpoint Craft Ales.
Clearly, just because his 70 year-old liver is too old to enjoy a cold, crisp, refreshing brewsky, Mr. McCain is taking it out on the rest of us. It has been of suspicion for years that he has always preferred a weaker, more effeminate drink, but to go to these extremes…a sad day indeed.
A little while back, we posted a list of rules for fist bumping. Recently, after securing the Democratic nomination, Barack Obama gave a passionate speech, after which he gave his wife a passionate kiss fist bump.
A few alert readers have pointed out that Obama was violating Rule #2 (If you are wearing a suit, you may only fist bump if you are drunk.). However, upon closer examination, I have concluded that this fist bump clearly falls within acceptable parameters for one reason: Michelle Obama initiated the bump!
Obviously, this bump is acceptable because Mrs. Obama is clearly female (Rule #8 states that girls can fist bump anytime they want), and Senator Obama would have been violating Rule #9 if he had refused the bump.
I am no political expert like J Diggles and Mr. Wonka but I am pretty sure you need to have at least a few votes before you declare a candidate a winner.
I took the above screenshot off of CNN’s website at about 4 o’clock but I was stuck in a meeting all afternoon so I wasn’t able to post it in a timely manner. Either way I still think it is pretty funny regardless. Ease off the fancy red check mark graphic until you can confirm one of the candidates managed to get at least 1% of the vote.
Bruce Springsteen wrote a letter to his fans today, endorsing Barack Obama.
The letter is pretty impressive, and whomever you are considering casting your vote for, you gotta respect the mad writing skills that Bruce is bringing to the table. Speechwriting job, anyone?
Based on this photo, it would appear that VP Dick Cheney has been hunting something besides quail. Is that a naked chick in his sunglasses?
He looks really happy, like he’s shooting some Congress Gone Wild video.
There have been reports denying that a nude woman did in fact accompany Dick on his fishing trip to Idaho’s Snake River.
I, however want to believe that he’s got the stones and I refuse to hear otherwise. A little lady might cheer him up a bit and get him to stop looking like a member of the Lollipop Guild. You go Dick! Now give her some beads.
Californian Assemblyman Jim Beall Junior is no Mr. Cool Ice, but he surely is deserving of being the Douche Bag of the Week. The Democrat from the San Jose area has proposed a tax on beer that would raise more than $2 billion for costs associated with alcohol-related emergencies like traffic accidents, beer goggles domestic violence and illnesses. If approved, the tax would increase the cost of a can or bottle of beer by 30 cents!
What. The. Fuck.
Tell me, looking at this photo of Mr. Beall, this guy has to be throwing down the beers on the regular. Isn’t he hurting himself here? Not to mention, in the lovely State of California, you can buy hard liquor at grocery stores, so isn’t this going to just encourage the purchase of hard alcohol instead of beer? Or even worse, force people to buy more of that shit alcohol, like Mike’s Hard Lemonade or wine coolers.
Seriously, Mr. Beall, you should reconsider. After you lose your job because of this tax, you’ll be looking for the cheapest beer possible.
DMX has been so wrapped up in releasing his two new albums he is apparently completely unaware that there is currently a presidential race going on in this country. Actually he has had his head so far up his own ass he isn’t even aware that there is a black candidate named Barack Obama currently running for the job. He is going to be releasing a gospel album and then a rap album on the same day. Wow, mind boggling, I can understand why he is so distracted. Based on just the language used in the interview below how do you think that gospel album is going to sound? How does Jesus feel about f-bombs? I just wish they had this interview on video. This thing would be the most popular clip on YouTube without a doubt.
Are you following the presidential race?
Not at all.
You’re not? You know there’s a Black guy running, Barack Obama and then there’s Hillary Clinton.
His name is Barack?!
Barack Obama, yeah.
Barack?!
Barack.
What the fuck is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa?
Yeah, his dad is from Kenya.
Barack Obama?
Yeah.
What the fuck?! That ain’t no fuckin’ name, yo. That ain’t that nigga’s name. You can’t be serious. Barack Obama. Get the fuck outta here.
You’re telling me you haven’t heard about him before.
I ain’t really paying much attention.
I mean, it’s pretty big if a Black…
Wow, Barack! The nigga’s name is Barack. Barack? Nigga named Barack Obama. What the fuck, man?! Is he serious? That ain’t his fuckin’ name. Ima tell this nigga when I see him, “Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit” [laughs] “That ain’t your fuckin’ name.” Your momma ain’t name you no damn Barack.
So you’re not following the race. You can’t vote right?
Nope.
I can understand losing interest in politics when you are a convicted felon and have lost your right to vote but this is ridiculous. Hasn’t he at least accidentally stumbled onto MSNBC, CNN or even Fox News when he is flipping channels on one of his flat screens?
It’s a real shame that a can of spray paint doesn’t come with some kind of spell checker.
This photo is from the Gregg County campaign office of Barack Obama which is located in east Texas more specifically in the city of Longview. The building doubles as a phone service center and a couple of the phone company’s vans got the spray paint treatment as well. Somehow the genius/geniuses managed to get the spelling right on the vans. Maybe they figured two correct spellings would overshadow their colossal fuck-up on the first one.
A Republican congressman from Arizona named Rick Renzi has recently been indicted on charges of money laundering and extortion, but is defiantly unwilling to resign. Seems that despite overwhelming evidence, he is continuing to profess his innocence and is evidently planning to ride this one out as long as possible. Obviously a conviction would force his dismissal, but until then, he’s going to party til the house burns down!
Reminds me of this mental giant who refused to resign as mayor, even after being convicted of exposing himself to underage girls. No word on whether that guy was a Republican as well…(hi Frank)
If you are a top college athlete make sure that you don’t take any extra money from boosters, or your ass will be booted out of school faster than you can molest a coed at a frat party. Now, if you need a little extra help on test day, from say, an illegal copy of a test. Now, that is understandable. School is hard, and while we are going to get slap on the wrist, and suspended a game or two, your scholarship is safe. This seems to be the tacit message the NCAA is sending to athletes theses days.
In two recent extreme cases of NCAA violations, one involving academic fraud on an epidemic level and one involving illegal recruiting, the NCAA seems to care about dollars more than education. First, we have FloridaState. Over sixty players were involved in a case of academic fraud that attracted marginal attention from the NCAA, and will likely not have long term implications on either the football program or the athletic department. In fact, FSU selectively decided when to suspend players, and did so in a way that would have the least impact on the program.
Secondly, Indiana coach Kelvin Sampson violates some minor and recruiting violations and is soundly criticized by the NCAA and the media, resulting in almost immediate firing during a promising season.
One wonders if this case analysis is a microcosm for the greater dealings of the NCAA. Is academic fraud a back page story, while recruiting violations are front page news? What’s more important for the NCAA, programs that develop strong student athletes, or making sure competitive balance in recruiting ensures increased revenue?
You don’t hear a lot from Jimmy Carter these days but I have always had a funny feeling that he isn’t happy with the way that the country is headed. I had no idea that the guy was irate. I found this piece the other day and it sort of blew my mind. I didn’t realize a good old boy from Georgia could string foul language together like President Carter does. Here are a few of my favorite excerpts. Hit the link for his full rant.
Sometimes I’m a little stupid, maybe, a little slow in the head, so I’m wondering if you can help me get something straight. Maybe you can help me understand one fucking thing right now, America, and explain to me what in the Christ is going on here. ‘Cause, unless I’m missing something, this country is in the middle of a motherfucking shitstorm, and I have no fucking idea what you’re gonna do to get out of it. I mean, are you seriously considering voting for one of these shitbags you got here in ‘08? Fat fucking chance.
See, I got solutions to all your problems—I got ‘em right here in my big, hairy ballsack.
But who comes to me, huh? Fucking nobody. Why ask old Jimmy anything? What the fuck could he know about peace in the Middle East? It’s not like he fucking won the Nobel Peace Prize for that shit. You myopic pricks. Back in ‘79, I sat Sadat and Begin right down and made those two dicklicks shake hands. It was beautiful—I had all the pieces lined up and I smiled and waved in my best fucking suit and tie right there on TV. And what do you do, you pieces of shit? You screw the whole goddamn pooch.
Oh, what’s that I hear? The weather’s all screwy? You got a global warming problem? Boo-fucking-hoo! I was telling you morons to turn off your lights and unplug all your shit at night to conserve energy in 19-fuckin’-75, for chrissake. Gee, I wonder what woulda happened if we’d all switched to solar power like I fucking did back when we had a fucking chance to do something about it. Think we’d still be sucking Saudi Arabia’s dick like a five-dollar whore? I sure as fuck didn’t get no fancy Oscar for that little spiel, though, did I? No. But Al Gore, that cum-sucking pig, steals the shit from me and now he’s the greatest thing since Jesus Christ made a fucking sandwich.
That man has a way with words. He has got my vote in ‘08.
There is a little ruckus going on down under over this photo that was printed on the front page of the Canberra Times. It shows Maxine McKew having what appears to be a heated conversation with former prime minister John Howard. Apparently a lot of people also feel that is shows Maxine going commando in that short skirt. I can’t really tell but maybe someone with some digital photo skills can blow it up and settle this commando debate once and for all.
