I’m not really sure what Delta’s slogan is, but this will have to do. The air carrier announced a while ago that they would be bringing free Wi-Fi internet access to a handful of flights. Of course, if people’s use of their computer is anything like mine, 87% of computer use on flights would be for porn-related activity. At first there was some concern about porn usage on a flight…can you imagine sitting next to someone while they sift through porn sites attempting to join the solo mile high club (thanks to Gizmodo for that line). Now Delta says they will block access to porn sites, so flight attendants don’t have to police the passengers.

Three things, first, why do they sell porn mags at airports then? Do people really think it’s okay to whip out your dick Penthouse magazine to “read the articles”? I’ve heard horror stories from friends who have sat next to people on planes and flipped through pictorials in adult magazines. Awkward!

Second, does “porn” include TastyBooze? I remember back in May when I was using the free Wi-Fi at the Denver airport and was totally cockblocked from checking out the site. Apparently we were thought of as “tasteless,” oh the irony. If you fly Delta, please report back on our availability.

Lastly, why would you need porn. Are any of you among the 1 million who have watched Delta’s new safety video on YouTube? Watch this for the first 30 seconds and you’ll see why so many people have wasted four-and-a-half minutes of their life “watching” this video.

Original Story: Gizmodo

What do you get when you put together the game of basketball and a fun kids chair?  Well, it turns out, you get testicles and a penis.  Who knew.  If the other parents see this it might be the last time they let their kids come over.

Source: Apartment Therapy

How many times do I have to say, “Always close your porn before taking a screenshot!” This is the corporate site for fucks sake. Click the image for the full size view or hit the link below to see the graphic on the original site while it lasts.

If you are having trouble checkout the things this guy has open in his taskbar.

Original Site

I thought this one would be closer, but people overwhelmingly decided they would rather get caught having sex (doggystyle, no covers) by their significant others parents, then be caught watching porn at work. I just don’t know if I agree. They are both pretty awful, but you gotta pick one.

Sex Scenario:

Given that you aren’t really doing anything wrong in this situation, I can see why it is the preferred path of embarrassment. However, if this is a girl you plan on being with for a while, it is a lot to live down at every Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner for the rest of your life - especially given the position described and/or if the oldies are the religious type. Talking about sex with your girls parents is kinda like talking about taking a huge shit with your girlfriend. Everybody knows its going on, and going on often, but there is no sense in bringing it up.

Porn Scenario:

Let’s be honest, there is a good chance you will get fired. In my old job all our internet traffic was scanned by some program and periodically reviewed by an IT guy. Some kid logged a solid 2,000+ hits in a month to porn related websites and was promptly asked to leave before even being able to clean out his desk. His excuse was of course that he accidentally hit one site and the pop-ups went crazy on him. But 2,000??? Come on. So, ya, getting caught is bad. But think of the bright side. Maybe your boss is hot and this could be the first step on your way to that “promotion”.

In the end, I think it’s gotta come down to whats most temporary in your mind - the person you are with, or the job you are in. And apparently two-thirds of Tasty Booze readers prefer their job….

This is a pretty solid list of all the shit the porn industry would like you to believe but doesn’t really pan out in real life.

1.) Every man’s body is hairless
5.) Women MUST talk or groan every moment of intercourse and every sentence must end with the word ‘yeah’
9.) Sex at work is easy to pull off
14.) Anal is normal and never needs to be asked for

I think the only thing the list is lacking is the pizza guy. Porn would definitely like you to believe that if a woman orders a pizza and the delivery guy shows up with both his dick and the pizza in the box the woman will disregard her hunger / pizza craving and go for the dick every time. Hit the link below to check out the full list.

Full List

I’m bringing sexy back this week.  Them other blogs don’t know how to act.  Seriously though, this is going to be a tough one.  I really don’t even know what I am going to vote for.  Let’s just get to it.  Remember to vote and leave clarification questions in the comments.

“Would you rather get caught watching porn at work by your boss of the opposite sex or get caught having sex by your significant others’ parents?”

Mitch Martin: “So how bad is this porn.  Some softcore playboy pics, or the real deal?”
J Diggles: “The real deal.  Doggystyle.”

Baba Ganoush: “Are you doing it under the covers so you can at least cover up, or pretend it didn’t happen?”
J Diggles: “No covers.  Doggystyle.”

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“From women in their 20’s to their 70’s, Tokuda romances them all (sometimes more than one at a time). Tokuda is a genuine leading man in the genre of elderly porn, starring in more than 200 adult videos. Tokuda (that’s his porn name) is so successful, he is a brand.”

Wow. Thanks again to the highest quality news source on the Net, CNN.com, for the latest in international porn news. This guy though has got to be the coolest grandpa ever. Which is fortunate because he probably has a ton of grandchildren. Tokuda also notes that his friends are envious of him, because he has “a job where he’s valued, something many seniors lack.” I’ll tell you what, that’s not why they are jealous gramps. I am guessing it is all the sex with 20-year olds. But that’s just me.

Source: CNN.com

Again, our readers have spoken. And again, they have spoken incorrectly. I am starting to wonder if I am just an idiot. But then again, since I am writing this post and therefore making the final decision, this can’t possibly be true. Anyway, hundreds of people voted and over 65% of you said you would rather go without a cell phone for a year instead of having to deal with a 28k dial-up internet connection for a year. I have to admit, this is a tough one. The dial-up is absolutely miserable, no doubt. But I don’t even remember how to use a regular phone. Do they even sell those anymore? Let’s get to it:

Your Social Life:

Without a cell, you would be dead in the water. What, are you going to take that girls number from the bar and write it on a napkin? It’s already embarrassing enough to a take a number on any cell phone that isn’t an iPhone (f u Apple)…but the old napkin move would almost guarantee that fake number. Point: Cell Phone.

Your Work Life:

These days, the internet and the cell are both necessary. And a lack of either could get you fired from certain jobs. But, the cell though is like a ball and chain. You are always within 6 inches of your bosses next request, which makes me want to punch him/her. A quality internet connection, on the other hand, can allow you to surf with the best them at work during those “pretend work” times…30-50% of most people’s day. Point: Internet.

Personal Life:

In one scenario you get access to lots and lots and lots of porn. In the other, your significant other gets to know where you are ALWAYS. Point: Internet.

Shit. I guess upon further review I agree with our readers. Internet wins! Screw you crackberry.

We already know people in Ohio like to drink and drive, I live there, I should know. What we didn’t know is that people also are fine gift givers in Ohio. For example, take recent high school graduate Ana. Her dad was so proud of her 3.1 GPA, entitling her to a full ride at Ohio State, that he went and bought her a Lexus, with a vanity plate no less. Ana never knew how popular you become when driving a Lexus, butt loves all the honks and waves she gets every time she pulls onto the highway or into a truck stop.

Find the original at Banned in Hollywood

During a recent prostitution sting in Miami police busted a woman running a “brothel on wheels”. Christina Morta, entrepreneurial genius, was running a bus loaded with 5 prostitutes up and down the South Beach strip. The bus would stop to pick up Johns who would then pay to have various sex acts performed. This wasn’t just some shit box old school bus. Christina had a full on tour bus reportedly worth $250k. Anyone that wanted to board the bus had to cough up a $40 entry fee and then prices for “services” went up from there. Obviously the one flaw in this genius plan was customer screening. Christina was busted after an undercover cop was able to buy his way onto the bus.

I am no genius but I bet you could create an entire pornographic website based entirely around people having sex on a bus.

NOTE: That is not the actual “Bang Bus” pictured above. Hey that would be a good name for the website.

Original Story: Local 10

Jeff Mead wanted to open his own ATV rental business in the town of Allenspark, Colorado but Margie Patterson and her fun hating cronies led a campaign against Mead’s business. Margie Patterson says Mead’s clients have damaged pristine private land… Sounds like a the classic cranky old person employing the ever popular “get off my lawn” defense.

Margie and her fun haters succeeded in their campaign and the Boulder County Planning Commission denied Jeff’s permit for the business. Jeff decided not to take this bullshit lying down and being the entrepreneur that he is he knew that sex sells. So Jeff decided to open up a porn shop instead. However Jeff got creative with his naming and decided to use Margie’s last name in the name of his store.

Tasty Booze applauds you good sir, this is a burn on the evil genius level. As soon as Jeff’s store opens I am going to order a couple of videos just to show my support.

Original Story: CW2 News

Men are pointing the finger at “Sex And The City” again, and this time, it isn’t the middle finger. In a story today from CBS News, therapists are reporting that men aged 18-30 are turning to Viagra and other meds to please women. The reasoning is that women are mirroring their demanding and powerful slut counterparts from “Sex And The City,” which in turn is seen as intimidating and threatening to their men.

Here’s what the article had to say:

The men say today’s empowered women are very vocal about what they want in terms of intimacy, creating pressure that’s leading to problems in the boudoir. … And, the therapists report, the overexposure of perfectly-proportioned and functioning male models in advertising, Web porn and elsewhere, which can create unrealistic fantasies, isn’t helping any, either — making men feel even more insecure.

I watch “The Early Show” on CBS and judging by that sample group, I would agree; none of those guys are giving it to any of the girls. Julie Chen is hot too. Whereas, I’m sure there’s a good reason why Harry Smith has a radio segment called “Just A Minute.”

Original Story: CBS News

By now the shock value is probably gone, everyone should know the phenomenon of 2 Girls 1 Cup (don’t worry, that just links to our other posts on the subject). You’ve probably either been forced into watching the video or have a friend verbally describe the ordeal in detail. Well, 2 Girls 1 Cup has taken the next step - enshrined in cake form. Yes, someone actually requested this as their birthday cake. Happy Birthday? I feel sorry for whoever got the corner piece.

Original photo: Flickr user pinguino

Remember two years ago when the video of R. Kelly allegedly having sex with a minor was leaked? Well, they are just now getting around to actually having a trial and trying to find jurors for said trial. Apparently finding jurors for a trial against a celebrity on kiddie porn charges is difficult. Here are some of the better excuses potential jurors have come with with, counting down.

5) I’ll change my vacation plans.
4) I have a teenage daughter.
3) R. Kelly is a musical genius.
2) I would change the age of consent.
1) R. Kelly may have led the Taliban in attacking us on 9-11, but you can’t prove it.

While the first four in the list are general abbreviations of excuses given number 1 on the list is a direct quote given by one of the potential jurors. I have to say that it is a slice of genius. I haven’t been summoned to jury duty yet but I know my days are numbered. I am going to store this excuse in my back pocket until that time comes. “I don’t know if I can be fair about these shoplifiting charges, your honor. This teenager could have been involved in the 9-11 plot.”

Original Story: Chicago Tribune

TWATR is an adult social network allowing you to share your dreams and fantasies with a like-minded - and kinky - audience. You’ll be able to share video, audio, and even live streams with the world all from the comfort of your desk or bed.

Sounds pretty genius to me. Why not give people the ability to upload their home made porn in real time. Apparently the company just closed their first round of financing and managed to get about 2 million euros. It could be the next big thing in internet porn.

twatr.net (The main page is SFW)