Warning: This video from Cracked.com contains four guys sitting around in someone’s basement playing drinking games. Things take a turn for the worse when one of the guys suggests playing “Roofie Roulette.” There are no winners in this game, thus the title of the Worst Drinking Game Ever. Be warned, the video contains male nudity and some poor choice of language.

It was only a matter of time before someone ruined the Wii’s squeaky clean kid/old person friendly image. If this shady website oioo.de is to be believed they are going to be the ones to do it with his and hers Wii dildos. The site only has pictures, a 9/9/08 release date and the following statement, “we search man and woman for a commercial”. I guess that means they need someone to demonstrate their fine product.

There is no mention of what game these accessories might work with but I am willing to guess that it would make steering a Mario Kart a little more interesting.

via Gizmodo

InTouch Weekly has a lot to learn about putting together top 10 lists. We’ve done our fair share of lists here at TastyBooze and they are never easy to compile. You know you have a good list if while creating the list there is yelling, personal call-outs, threats to one’s sexuality or genitalia, and at least one physical altercation (thumb war, arm wrestling, sprint, MMA fight, etc.) to decide a list placement.

InTouch Weekly’s Best Celebrity Breasts looks like it was compiled by a blind female intern. Here’s their list:

1. Jessica Simpson
2. Tyra Banks
3. Scarlett Johansson
4. Carmen Electra
5. Lindsay Lohan
6. Katherine Heigl
7. Audrina Patridge
8. Jennifer Aniston
9. Megan Fox
10. Beyoncé Knowles

Here are my issues:

2. Tyra Banks - Maybe if your sole judging criteria was the 1997 SI Swimsuit Issue.
4. Carmen Electra - This is like when Milli Vanilli won that Grammy… fake!
8. Jennifer Aniston - Old and tired, like reruns of “Friends.”
10. Beyoncé Knowles - Nothing special…maybe they meant to put Harry Knowles.

What about Jennifer Love Hewitt? Salma Hayek? Angelina Jolie? Christina Aguilera? Hell, even Phil Mickelson and James Gandolfini have better breasts than Jennifer Aniston (and reruns of “Sopranos” are better too!). Maybe this list is all celebrity focused with only actresses and singers, but it’s hard to make a “Best Breasts” list and leave off Marissa Miller…her breasts sure do act nice.

Original Story: The Superficial

Step 1: Make sex tape.
Step 2: Leak sex tape.
Step 3: Sue TMZ.com for $20 million for publishing sex tape referenced in Step 1.

(Cue ridiculously long evil laugh)

With steps one and two complete Troyer moved on to step three yesterday and filed a lawsuit in U.S. District Court in downtown L.A. against TMZ and Kevin Blatt for releasing his sex tape that no one actually wants to watch. Ironically Mr. Blatt is also the evil genius that distributed Paris Hilton’s most popular movie “One Night in Paris.” Everyone has to have a dream in life but at what point do you sit back and say “I am going to corner the market on celebrity sex tapes.”

I know that Verne is probably a little upset that The Love Guru bombed but I think he made a rash decision here. I mean how are you going to convince anyone that you deserve $20 million for something that nobody wants to watch in the first place?

Original Story: TMZ.com

“I have some aches and pains and I have had lower back problems since the 80s. Too much time in bed rustling around with friends!”

Holy shit, I don’t usually tear up but this just breaks my heart. Poor Hugh Hefner, 82, is having back problems because he has spent two much in bed banging hot chicks. This isn’t a new condition either. Apparently Hugh has been suffering this back pain since the ’80s. What the fuck is going on in this country? How could we let this poor man suffer from lower back pain for the better part of 3 decades? Where is the compassion?

I would have added music to this post but I couldn’t find a violin small enough.

Oh yeah, Hugh, you don’t have to sugar coat it. Drop this “rustling” nonsense and just shoot us straight.

Original Story: stuff.co.nz

We’re not talking about the length of the sex tape, but the length of the man in the sex tape. Actually, I’m not able to substantiate that claim at all, since I’m not really into little-people-porn, but we’ll just go with it.

Verne Troyer, better known as “Mini Me” from the Austin Powers movies and also has a small roll in the new Mike Myers movie The Love Guru, has joined the celebrity sex tape circuit. TMZ has a short clip of said sex tape, which only shows Troyer making out with his “girlfriend.” If you are looking to throw up, this is definitely the video for you!

Word on the street is that SugarDVD has offered up $100,000 for the sex tape, but no deal has been struck.

Original story: DListed and TMZ Video (view at your own risk)

During a recent prostitution sting in Miami police busted a woman running a “brothel on wheels”. Christina Morta, entrepreneurial genius, was running a bus loaded with 5 prostitutes up and down the South Beach strip. The bus would stop to pick up Johns who would then pay to have various sex acts performed. This wasn’t just some shit box old school bus. Christina had a full on tour bus reportedly worth $250k. Anyone that wanted to board the bus had to cough up a $40 entry fee and then prices for “services” went up from there. Obviously the one flaw in this genius plan was customer screening. Christina was busted after an undercover cop was able to buy his way onto the bus.

I am no genius but I bet you could create an entire pornographic website based entirely around people having sex on a bus.

NOTE: That is not the actual “Bang Bus” pictured above. Hey that would be a good name for the website.

Original Story: Local 10

It was really only a matter of time… I mean 50 Cent has put his name on a number of products, you might say selling out, including Vitamin Water, Reebok, a new body spray and Magic Stick Condoms. In other words, 50 Cent is not afraid to put his name on products that he supports.

Well, Taco Bell might have gone a little far with the rap mogul - I suggest developing a new bullet-proof variety of taco shell. Apparently the company put together a proposal for 50 to make an appearance at a Taco Bell store, rap his order, and change his name to 79 Cent, 89 Cent or 99 Cent - the prices of items on Taco Bell’s Value Menu.

The contract was leaked before 50 Cent’s people even got their hands on it and now 50 Cent is upset that the whole thing was a publicity stunt.

Overall, it hasn’t been a good month for 50 Cent: His ex is suing 50 for burning her house down and he’s feuding with his G-Unit counterpart Young Buck. Who knows, if things keep going this way for 50 Cent, he might start making appearances at Taco Bell without even having to pay him.

Original post: Socialite Life

Yesterday we posted an article about men getting drugs to satisfy women. Well, I found a post from Jezebel that is only going to add fuel to the fire.

The post includes a chart entitled, “The Authentic Women’s Penis Size Preference Chart.” Although not explicit, we’ll just assume this chart refers to their preference for sex, not just in general or for one act or another (read: blowjob). The chart has five categories: Ideal (Perfect), Very Satisfying, Satisfying, Enjoyable and Not Satisfying. The “Ideal” range is pretty much any pecker between 7″ and 8″ long, with a circumference of 6.25″ to 6.5″. Surprisingly there are some women out there that find a circumference of 7.5″ to be enjoyable. In comparison, the beer bottle at my desk (don’t ask) has a circumference of about 7.5″.

In discussions with Bill Brasky, we came to these conclusions:

1. Women might have a hard time (literally) measuring circumference correctly.
2. Women probably don’t know what circumference means.
3. The average women’s wrist is 7″ in circumference, so…

The best part about this article is the discussion that takes place in the comments section. It’s definitely worth a read.

Original Post: Jezebel

If you still have $600 of government money burning a hole in your pocket you might want to consider a trip to the great state of Nevada. Gas prices have started to put a pinch on brothel owners some of whom rely on truckers to provide almost 60% of their business. With diesel at almost $5 a gallon truckers apparently aren’t willing to make the drive out to the brothels which has caused a 45% decline in revenue. People have always said the sex industry was “recession proof” but it looks like it isn’t “$5 a gallon proof”.

One brothel in Nevada is offering a swinging deal where they will double your stimulus check. You bring in your $600 of government funds and they will set you up with the $1,200 George Bush package. The George Bush package comes with three girls and a bottle of champagne. I am guessing that it is a BYOV (bring your own Viagra) party. I am not in the market for the services of a brothel but I think we can all agree that that’s a pretty smokin’ deal.

In case you are wondering why all the brothels are located out in the boonies (I know I was) it’s because Nevada state law says that a brothel can only operate in a county with fewer than 400,000 residents. Look at that, you came for the sex story but you still learned something new.

Original Story: Newsweek

After a six year wait it took a jury less than a day of deliberations to acquit R. Kelly of all 14 child pornography charges that he faced. Had he been found guilty he could have served up to 15 years in jail. Of course if you use the Nicole Richie celebrity jail time formula he probably would have served about 77 days of the 15 year sentence.

In case you don’t remember a tape was mailed to the Chicago Sun Times back in 2002 which reportedly show R. Kelly engaging in a threesome with one of the girls being only 13. Both R. Kelly and the supposed victim, now 23, denied being the humpers in the video. R. Kelly’s defense team focused their argument on a large mole on R. Kelly’s back. R. Kelly has a fingernail size mole on his lower back and the defense argued that the man in the video had no such mole. At one point the defense played a purposely altered clip of the video showing two headless bodies having sex. They argued that if they could remove the heads from the video someone could have added R. Kelly’s head to the video.

I have no doubt that R. Kelly has done some freaky ass shit in his day but I can never really buy into the “this anonmous tape just showed up” thing. This has generated so much press that if it was real the person that turned it in would want their 15 minutes of fame. Either way it gives me an excuse you post one of my all time favorite Dave Chappelle sketches.

MSNBC.com

Winter is coming and you’ve got 125 scientists stationed on Antartica for the next year, how many condoms do they need?

Answer: 16,500

Yep, almost 17K condoms for just 125 scientists. If you break that down (16,500 / 125) it comes out to about 132 condoms per scientist. However the article doesn’t say the break down of male and female scientists so if it was 50/50 those males would have about 264 condoms each to burn through. This has got to be the one situation where there is absolutely no acceptable excuse for not having a rubber.

I realize it’s dark and there probably isn’t a lot to do during the winter in Antartica but that is a lot of fuckin’. How are they going to get any actual experiments done when they are trying to work through that many jimmy hats?

Original Story: Reuters

No, today is not some sort of Canada Day at TastyBooze. But I saw these pictures of Pamela Anderson, one of Canada’s finest exports (although she had to import her breasts, if you know what I mean), representing the red-and-white Maple Leaf on The Superficial and thought it was a good pairing with the news about Canadians liking beer. The photos are from a Grand Prix party that she hosted over the weekend in Montreal.

Of course, it took me about five minutes to realize she was holding the Canadian flag - although you can’t tell from this photo, the white shirt she is wearing is practically see-through.

If you are interested in seeing more photos of Pamela Anderson waving her flag and waving her flags, check out the complete set of photos here:

The Superficial: Pamela Anderson hates bras, hearts Canada

By now the shock value is probably gone, everyone should know the phenomenon of 2 Girls 1 Cup (don’t worry, that just links to our other posts on the subject). You’ve probably either been forced into watching the video or have a friend verbally describe the ordeal in detail. Well, 2 Girls 1 Cup has taken the next step - enshrined in cake form. Yes, someone actually requested this as their birthday cake. Happy Birthday? I feel sorry for whoever got the corner piece.

Original photo: Flickr user pinguino

National Masturbation Day has come and gone and a new champ has been crowned. Actually, to be fair co-champs. Norihiro Taneichi and Masanobu Sato flogged their purple headed monsters for 8 hours and 40 minutes. That’s right eight goddamn hours. That four minutes you spend in the shower ain’t got shit on these guys. However these new record holders didn’t do it unassisted. They were using a product called the Tenga Adult Concept orgasim cup. The Tenga isn’t just some keg cup filled with jello, the thing is a top-of-the-line jackoff machine. It’s got nubs, ripples, suction basically everything you want in a good masturbating gadget.

The Tenga isn’t available stateside but I expect some of you enterprising bastards to get a few of these things imported and then get your practice on so that we can bring the championship home next year.

Hit the link for the full Tenga infomercial.

via Gizmodo