Once out from the oppressive administration at colleges and universities, those partaking in somewhat organized co-ed sports leagues are forced to come up with their own creative and usually offensive or crude team names. Co-Ed Sports are a past-time for the quarter-lifers and is even called out as #65 of Stuff White People Like. Girls enjoy the opportunity to participate in sports for the semi-competitive atmosphere or their boyfriends are making them do it. Guys love the competitiveness no matter how drunk much the other team doesn’t care and it’s also their last hope at getting discovered for the MLB/NFL/NBA/PBA/MLS.

Gone are the simple team names from your adolescence, like “Wildcats,” “Bears,” “[Local Professional Sports Team Name],” and “Yankees.” Balls, poles, bases, bats, runs, and scoring, are turned into euphemisms for male genitalia, male genitalia, female genitalia, male genitalia, fecal matter, and mom jokes. Put a couple of these together and you have yourself a pretty clever team name.

TastyBooze staff members have played in numerous co-ed sports leagues (current team is Wu-Tang themed, Wu-Tang ain’t nothing to fuck wit!) and we’ve come up with our list of favorite team names below.

25 – I Scored With Your Mom (Baseball/Softball)
24 – Freebasers (Baseball/Softball)
23 - Back Dat Pass Up (Football/Soccer)
22 – Multiple Scorgasm (Any Sport)
21 – Triple Penetration (Bowling)
20 – Masterbatters (Baseball/Softball)
19 – Suck My Kick (Kickball/Soccer)
18 – Long Poles and Deep Holes (Golf)
17 – 2 Balls 1 Cup (Golf)
16 – Kick Tease (Kickball/Soccer)

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The Chinese are at it again. This time our far eastern friends are taking on mother nature. Now, weather modification is nothing new, and the Chinese actually got the idea from the Russians, but the Peoples Republic of China has announced that it intends to use rockets and artillery to ensure a fair weathered olympic games in 2008. Here’s how it works: (1) Fill rocket and/or anti-aircraft shells with cigarette-sized sticks of silver iodide (2) blast those fuckers into clouds with high moisture content (3) cause the clouds to rain themselves away (4) sunshine.

Genius.

FRAGRANT HILLS, China — When he’s not tending cherry orchards outside Beijing, Yu Yonggang can be found behind the twin barrels of a 37mm anti-aircraft gun, blasting shells at passing clouds.

According to the Chinese government, the idea is for the peasant gunners to work with meteorologists watching radar in the capital. Together, they will hunt pregnant rain clouds and pound them with rockets

That’s right, dude is an orchardist, not in the military. I wonder if the Chinese government threw in the camo coat and helmet for a couple pounds of Raniers.

Do you think the “snow storms” that have shut down Seattle in recent weeks have been weak? By comparison, it would take approximately twenty years of Seattle snowfall to equate to the amount of snow Pullman, WA gets in a single year. Meet Izzle Pfaff. He shares your sentiments.

“I, however, am a fucking ninja for snow driving. I grew up in Idaho, motherfucker! I took driver’s ed in eight inches of snow. How do I know it was eight inches of snow? I measured it with my dick. RAR!”

Read more of Izzle Pfaff at http://www.izzlepfaff.com/