A construction worker in Australia has been court ordered to not hold or drink a beer for the next 12 months. This stiff penalty was handed down after Michael Leary was convicted of his 7th DUI and his lawyer told the court he had a $981 a week beer habit. Obviously no beer for this guy over the next year is going to be pretty tough but you would think getting your 7th DUI would carry a little bit of a stronger sentence. The judge however actually made a joke about it in court.

“(That is) poor judgement on two counts there — drinking that much and drinking Melbourne Bitter,” magistrate Vince Luppino was quoted as saying.

How the fuck do you spend almost $1000 a week on beer? This isn’t coke we are talking about. If you assume that a 30 pack of cans costs roughly $30 and the guy drank one 30 pack a day that would still only be $210 over the course of the week. The only way you can get close to $1000 is to assume his was knocking back about 30 $4 pints at the bar which would be $120 a day or $840 over the course of a 7 day week. How did he manage to get any actual work done do actually support this beer habit? The guy is a goddamn construction worker and the last time I checked shit doesn’t just build itself.

Original Story: Mirror.co.uk

Every thing is more fun on Nintendo’s Wii… bowling, playing in a band or just rockin’ out by yourself, tennis, working out, watching your girlfriend workout… and now JV Games is trying to add Beer Pong to that list. The developer created a WiiWare game based on the drinking game that has the Connecticut Attorney General up in arms (probably because he sucks at beer pong).

Alcohol reference in a video game warrants a “Teen” rating, but the company has since removed the beer element and just called the game, “Pong Toss.” Probably a good idea, because we all know how hard it is to get drunk off of virtual beer…not to mention the hangover that comes with it the next morning!

The ESRB game rating board spokesperson suggests the attorney general mind his own business:

“Our concern is that a greater number of consumers (including the age group about which you are most concerned) will be made aware of this game and resolve to play it as a result of publicized statements of advocacy groups and others. Ironically, this is likely to result in more rather than less consumers being drawn to this game, particularly those very minors all of us seek to protect.”

Whoops… I guess we aren’t helping either. It’s just as well that kids start practicing their beer pong skills at an early age, they’ll be that much better off in college. Or after college. Or on the 4th of July, like when I dominated everyone at Diggles’ party with my pong skills. No big deal.

Thanks to K Money for find. Original Story: WIRED Blog

This is the question a liquor store owner has been asking in Colorado. The man was tired of losing about $1000 worth of merchandise each month due to thefts, so when he caught the criminals they had the choice of giving up a shoe or giving up the liquor. The thought process is that the ones giving up their shoe would be too embarrassed to return, the ones giving up the liquor would just come back to steal again. Apparently only a handful were willing to give up a shoe.

The concept kind of backfired, when police told the store owner that he would have to stop the practice or face felony robbery charges. The irony is that getting caught stealing the liquor was only a misdemeanor.

This reminds me of those gun exchange programs, like turning in guns for gift certificates or sports tickets. I’m sure plenty of people could round up some old shoes they would be willing to part with for a fifth of Jack. You’re probably going to lose your shoes after drinking the whole bottle anyway, so you may as well get something for your shoes to start the night.

Original story: Associated Press.

Old and busted: Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son. –Dean Vernon Wormer, Animal House

New hotness: Holtz had told Michael Robert Dickey of Farmington Hills that it would be cheaper, faster and less painful for the people who cared about him if he took his own life.

A Michigan Judge dropped that bit of wisdom on Michael Dickey, 20, who was in court on a third charge involving alcohol the most recent being an MIP. Jesus Holtz, I am all for the tough love/teach them a lesson bullshit, but maybe the kid is just having a run of bad luck.

Original Story: Fox News

Californian Assemblyman Jim Beall Junior is no Mr. Cool Ice, but he surely is deserving of being the Douche Bag of the Week. The Democrat from the San Jose area has proposed a tax on beer that would raise more than $2 billion for costs associated with alcohol-related emergencies like traffic accidents, beer goggles domestic violence and illnesses. If approved, the tax would increase the cost of a can or bottle of beer by 30 cents!

What. The. Fuck.

Tell me, looking at this photo of Mr. Beall, this guy has to be throwing down the beers on the regular. Isn’t he hurting himself here? Not to mention, in the lovely State of California, you can buy hard liquor at grocery stores, so isn’t this going to just encourage the purchase of hard alcohol instead of beer? Or even worse, force people to buy more of that shit alcohol, like Mike’s Hard Lemonade or wine coolers.

Seriously, Mr. Beall, you should reconsider. After you lose your job because of this tax, you’ll be looking for the cheapest beer possible.

Original Story: CBS 13.

I was sitting at work today, and this thought crossed my mind, “You know what this place needs? A gatt or two!” Well, if I lived in Florida, that could happen!

Backed by the NRA, the so-called “take-your-guns-to-work” measure was passed by the Florida Senate Wednesday and would prohibit business owners from banning guns kept in locked motor vehicles on their private property.

First off, I didn’t know I could legally be fired for this. If I want to keep my sawed-off locked in my Caprice and come out and stroke it during my lunch break, that’s none of my boss’ fucking business. Yes, I might accidentally shoot somebody on company property. Yes, my boss/company might be sued. Yes, I might be tempted to bring it inside if Chip from Accounting is asking too many questions. But that’s my god Florida-given right.

Dickhead bosses in Florida are not sleeping well tonight.

For the full story aim here.