You are a piss drunk twenty-something on an international flight and the stewardess just cut you off the free booze train. Do you:

A) Take it like a man and pass out for the rest of the flight
B) Slap her
C) Convince the guy in front of you to start getting your drinks
D) Try to set the curtains on fire
E) Both B & D

This is Tasty Booze so you know that 25 year old Zoltan Lensky went with option E. After slapping the stewardess Zoltan went to the front of the cabin, pulled out a lighter (nice work TSA) and tried to set the curtains in the flight attendant area on fire. I know this kid was drunk but why in the fuck would you try to set on fire the one thing that is responsible for keeping you alive at 30,000 feet.

A federal air marshal was able to subdue and handcuff Zoltan before he was able to get his camp fire going.

Original Story: CNN.com

Flip flops? Check.
Tripod and Camera under one arm? Check.
8 foot gap? Check.
1 mile straight down? Check.
Six beers downed? Double Check.

This crazy SOB above was drinking beers and taking shots of the Arizona sunset when he decided to jump over to the other ledge for a better shot. These photos were captured by Dutch photographer Hans van de Vorst who happend to be at the Grand Canyon on vacation. According to Hans the guy almost didn’t make it.

He didn’t grab the rock properly the first time and slipped back about 50cm before clinging onto it.

I guess I understand wanting to get a good shot but jumping over the Grand Canyon is fucking ludicrous.

Original Story: Telegraph.co.uk

So you are about to take a trip but you don’t know how much money to bring because you have no idea how much a beer is going to cost once you reach your destination. No worries, because PintPrice.com is a website devoted to finding the price of pint the world over. The site encourages users to submit their location and how much they just paid for a pint of suds. The site then uses this data to find the average price of a beer in any country.

For instance if you are looking for the most bang for your buck a quick trip to Congo DR will score you $0.20 pints. That means I could get good and shit faced for about $3 total. That is less than one pint in Seattle. Or if you are planning to make it rain in the casinos of Monaco be prepared to part with $15 for a single pint of beer. Fuck, in Vegas I generally try to win enough to cover my hotel room. In Monaco I would have to win a shit ton of $5 blackjack hands just to cover the bar tab.

While the site is organized by country users that enter a price can enter the name of the city they are drinking in. So if you choose the U.S. you will find a price listed for just about every major city. This is helpful because it allows you to figure out how many meals you will have to skip in order to get all your beers covered on the company expense report.

PintPrice.com

What?

Ok, focus.

So this woman gets through the metal detectors, but is pulled aside for the old “it’s a hot woman, let’s give her the hand wand” move. During the wanding, a close examination of the breastal region finds something of the metal variety. Several TSA officials are called over the discuss the situation and they decide she must remove it. Amid tears she if forced behind a curtain while a large crowd of onlookers and TSA official laugh in the background. One nipple is easy, but the other has the strength of a D-cup and won’t let the ring go…..pliers…..

This can’t really be their policy can it? Holy crap.

TSA’s response (clearly just going for the boob grab):
- TSA supports the thoroughness of the officers involved as they were acting to protect the passengers and crews of the flights departing Lubbock that day.
- In the future, TSA will inform passengers that they have the option to resolve the alarm through a visual inspection of the article in lieu of removing the item in question.

Attorney’s Reponse:
- Last time that I checked, a nipple was not a dangerous weapon.

I don’t know…..a nipple has forced me to do some strange things in the past. But seriously, why is it that TSA is focusing on this, when every f-ing test run the FBI puts them through they fail? Idiots…

Source: CNN

Starting October 1st on flights from Dubai to New York passengers in the first class cabin of the Emirates Air A380 (the largest passenger jet in the world) will be able to enjoy a hot shower for about $18,000 U.S. Based on the following statement from Emirates Air describing the first class cabin I would guess that if you fork over the dough you are going to get something nicer than a cramped metal box with weak water pressure. The airline compares the experience to Dubai’s “seven-star” Burj Al Arab hotel…

So you are looking at $18K to take a “seven-star” shower at 37,000 feet. I enjoy a good shower but $18K is pretty goddamn steep. If a lady friend can accompany me into this “seven-star” shower so that I can kill two birds with one stone then maybe we would have a deal.

Original Story

Since Dubai currently has approximately 800 million billion trillion dollars to toss around (I’m rounding up), they decided to build the world’s longest arch bridge. Set to begin construction next month, it will be completed in 2012. It also looks awesome…

Read more, and see more great pictures, here.

No, that’s not a typo or a joke. Seems that a submersible, open-top car/submarine is exactly what the Swiss have invented.

And the picture to the right is not a joke either, even though it looks like it should be painted on the side of a van, that’s actually it!

It’s called the sQuba, and it has a top speed on land of 77mph, though it slows to a speedy 1.8mph underwater. And yes, if you go underwater, you will have to use a SCUBA apparatus to breathe, because you will be completely exposed to the water. Because it’s, you know, a fucking convertible.

The car, of which there is only one in existence, and which has (as far as I can tell) zero practical application, cost $1.5 million to make. Meanwhile my wireless internet keeps cutting in and out. Way to prioritize, scientists!

Original article here, including video of this idiotic thing.

Neil Grant a brewery executive flying from Australia to the U.K. was forced to smash two bottles of wine valued at $3000 by airport security at Melbourne’s Tullmarine airport. The bottles were an 1980 and ‘82 Grange from Mr. Grant’s personal collection but he forgot that there was a 100ml liquid rule for anything in carry-on luggage. Mr. Grant tried everything he could think of to save the wine. He even offered to open both bottles and let everyone at the security checkpoint try the wine. When the chuckleheads at the security checkpoint proved to be inflexible Mr. Grant decided to smash the bottles himself to ensure that if he wasn’t drinking it nobody would.

Sure you can say that Grant is the idiot and he should have remembered the liquid rule but why do the airport security workers have to be such assholes. What is the harm of letting a guy get on a plane with two bottles of sealed wine. Are you worried he isn’t going to buy any of the $5 drinks? For fucks sake use some common sense.

Goddamn it I hate it when good booze goes to waste.

Original Story: news.com.au

We have all seen the commercial where a guy dressed as an airline pilot describes how he was able to check the weather on his iPhone which allowed the plane he was piloting to depart on time. Apparently the commercial inspired some chucklehead equipped with an iPhone to challenge a Captain’s weather delay announcement. As you might guess it takes some smarts to fly a commercial jet and this Captain proved he has got more than enough with this wicked awesome response / burn.

On one of the frequent-flier blogs, an airline pilot writes that only moments after informing his passengers of a weather-related ground hold affecting their flight to Memphis, Tenn., he and his captain received a call from one of the flight attendants. Seems an iPhone-wielding customer in the back had a challenge. “Some guy with an iPhone says the weather is good,” the flight attendant says, “and wants to know what the real reason is for the delay. Is something wrong with the plane?”

“If the passenger with the iPhone would be kind enough,” he began, “to use it to check the weather at our alternate airport, then calculate our revised fuel burn due to being rerouted, then call our dispatcher to arrange our amended release, then make a call to the nearest traffic control center to arrange a new slot time (among all the other aircraft carrying passengers with iPhones), we’ll then be more than happy to depart. Please ring your call button to advise the flight attendant and your fellow passengers when you deem it ready and responsible for this multimillion-dollar aircraft and its 84 passengers to safely leave.”

Consider yourself burned, SON! You checked a weather map on the internet dipshit. 90% of cell phones available today have the exact same capability but people don’t use them to second guess trained professionals. Only some pompous ass clown with an iPhone would think that said iPhone and it’s internet weather map is better than the millions of dollars of equipment, personnel and training packed into an airport control tower.

Original Story: Salon.com

I saw the headline “Fight is on for family-only sections on planes” and I thought “Fuck Yeah! Let’s pass this shit and get rid of the screaming babies!”. Boy was I wrong. The Family Friendly Flight Act is a bunch of parents that are pissed off at the audacity of the airlines to show PG-13 movies like King Kong on the movie screens in the plane.

They have been asking airlines with publicly viewable screens to stop showing films and TV programs with violent content. Instead, the group would like the in-flight entertainment limited to films rated G or PG or television shows rated TV-G. “Airlines have the choice to show whatever they want,” says Kalisher, “but as parents we have the responsibility to protect our kids from images of murder, torture and death.”

Awesome. I understand that a parent needs to protect their kid. But now it isn’t enough that I have to listen to your kid scream or kick/punch the back of my seat for 3 straight hours. Now I am going to have to watch The Princess Diaries or some Disney movie because your kid, who probably can’t see over the seat anyway, might get scared by a big ass Gorilla.

I haven’t taken a formal survey but I have flown on a lot of planes for business. I would have to say that kids under 13 make up less than 25% of the total passengers on the plane. So why would they get to dictate what is shown? I am not asking for the airline to play Basic Instinct but at least let me have the PG-13 movie to distract me from your kid kicking my seat like his is fucking Pele.

Original Story: MSNBC.com

Let’s be honest. Everytime you go into your local Rudy’s, Supercuts, barbarshop, etc, you are hoping for that one mildly attractive employee to finish with their current patron right when it is your turn on the list to get your cut next. Given that you have to sit there in forced conversation for 20 minutes, it might as well be with someone attractive of the opposite sex. Unfortunately for the majority of us, the hot haircutting professionals are few and far between. Thank goodness I found this little spot in Poland…

My hair would be a lot shorter a lot more often if this existed in the US.

More pics here (but less safe for work)

There have been two different women in the last two weeks that have come forward claiming that Southwest Airlines has asked them to cover up due to their skimpy outfits. Really? What is the big deal? Who doesn’t like a to see a little cleavage? Can anyone honestly and with a straight face say that they have been offended by cleavage? It’s not like the girl was wearing a string bikini or had her areola’s hanging out. If Southwest wants to implement a dress code addressing certain types or styles of dress then sleeveless shirts should be the #1 priority. I don’t even think cleavage cracks the top ten. I am way more offended after I have dropped $400 on a seat and under up six inches from some chucklehead’s armpit hair that is blowing in the breeze of the overhead air vent.

Southwest Airlines is an independent company and if they want to implement a dress code then I have no problem with that. However I think that speaks volumes about the sad state of American society if that is really necessary. People should use their common sense and follow this basic rule.

If you wouldn’t wear it into your office to talk to your boss then you shouldn’t wear it on the airplane. Done.

Original Story & Video: MSNBC