So you think that Michael Phelps won his 8 gold medals in 2008 at the Olympic games held in Beijing, China? He actually won those 8 medals in 1972 at the games held in Munich, Germany and he did it despite Hitler’s best efforts to stop him.

After seeing this I think I might have to recast my vote in our “would you rather” from a few weeks ago where we asked if you would rather watch all TV with subtitles or buy everything you watch iTunes style.

TV is one of my most sacred pastimes. I was only allowed one hour a day growing up. Which is of course why I only “read” and did “homework” in those 3 hours between when I got off of school and my mom returned home from work. Saved By The Bell re-runs and MTV’s The Grind didn’t count…

Would you rather have to watch all TV with subtitles or have to buy everything you watch on TV iTunes style?

Mitch Martin: “Are the subtitles just stuck on the screen on every TV you watch, or is the audio really in another language?”
J Diggles: “Another language.”

Baba Ganoush: “Can you learn the other language?”
J Diggles: “Sure, it’s German.”

Mr Wonka: “Do the iTunes shows come with advertisements?”
J Diggles: “Yes, just the like the regular show would.”

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As I sit here at my desk with an office running at about a 70 percent vacancy rate, the last couple days have really turned the week around for women. Sure us guys started the week on manly notes with the Home Run Derby and All-Star Game, then finished it off with the release of Batman: The Dark Knight.

But women have come back the second half of the week, as the anticipated premier of “Project Runway” was on Wednesday night, thus dominating all water-cooler/hallway/lavatory conversations on Thursday. And now my office is barely occupied by the few men who actually work here. You see, it’s the first day of Nordstrom’s Anniversary Sale. Women mark this day on their calendar like it’s their birthday, using a vacation day, calling in “sick” or just getting up at the crack of dawn to get a couple of hours of shopping in before dragging ass at work. Check out the chick stampede at the Downtown Seattle Nordstrom’s here in the picture…be careful, those Starbucks can be used as weapons!

Actually it’s been kind of nice, I’ve been especially productive for a Friday. But now I’m going to grab a beer and kick-start my weekend. Hope everyone has a good one.

Here are the ten shows that every guy will claim to hate when surrounded by a bunch of dicks but secretly enjoys watching either alone or with a girl.

Gilmore Girls - I mean, their just like us! Emotions, gossip and fast talking, who could for anything more? Ok, really, Lauren Graham is hot, and the show actually has interesting dialogue and good one-liners.

The Hills - The dialogue is terrible. Their lives, storylines and jobs are as fake as Heidi Montage’s breasts and personality. Spencer is the default Douchebag of the Week. But the girls are hot and we can’t help but laugh (on the inside, of course) at the cattiness as our ladyfriends get worked up about the poor fashion and life decisions of LC, Audrina, Whitney and Lo.

Award Shows - One of the very few times that you are actually allowed to stare at cleavage for 3 hours in front of your girlfriend. Add funny hosts and the possibility of A-listers tripping on live TV and this can be a fun night.

Project Runway -Fierce! Yep, I caught every episode of last season. Who doesnt like seeing gay dudes, at least one emo dude and a bunch of annoying chicks duke it out? Plus you’ve got at least two guaranteed appearances by Heidi Klum per episode and more tattoos than Miami Ink.

America’s Next Top Model - “What? That skinny bitch just beat the girl with big tits.” This visible anger makes your girlfriend want to sleep with you more because you think the “fat” one is hotter

Dancing With The Stars - Jerry Rice, Emmit Smith, Floyd Mayweather, Jerry Springer, Adam Carolla….that sounds manly enough. Plus if you let your girlfriend get just a hint of an idea that you might be willing to take ballroom dancing lessons with her you will get ultra-laid that night.

The Girls Next Door - This one is kind of a no brainer. Three ridiculously hot girls and the 82 year old man that is banging all three. I am always hoping that a boob will slip by the E! censors but those assholes run a tight ship. This would be the single greatest show on television if it was on HBO.

Olympic Trials - I may not have the patriotism to stop myself from fleeing to Canada if the Army called, but I sure as hell want to beat the shit out of China/Uzbekistan/and Sweden in the gold medal count. Besides it’s one of the few times you can watch generally underage girls in ridiculous small/tight outfits and not be called a pervert.

America’s Best Dance Crew - I will talk some shit when the lady friend puts this on but I have to admit the kids on this show have some pretty kick ass moves. Throw in Mario Lopez and Lil Mama’s sequined hats and I can suffer through it. Sidenote: If you pay attention Lil Mama never actually judges anybody despite the fact that it’s her job.

Sex And The City - Being able to throw out some Sex and the City references during casual conversation will always score you brownie points with the ladies. Plus it’s on HBO which means there is a 73% you will see some boobie in any given episode.

Last year Soulja Boy managed to take his one-hit wonder “Crank That” to epic heights thanks in part to a YouTube video with Barney.

But this year belongs to Lil Wayne. His album, Tha Carter III (read the TastyBooze review), sold more than 1 million copies in the first week and his next single featuring T-Pain, “Got Money,” is already getting tons of radio air play.

With no official video out yet, and considering our love of the Smurfs and Lil Wayne’s short stature, we thought this was a perfect pairing. TastyBooze now presents Papa Wayne featuring Smurf-Pain in “Got Money”:

A few weeks ago we posted about a Batmobile for sale and now it looks like a genuine KITT is up on the auction block. This 1984 Pontiac TransAm was originally used in the third season of the show before it was converted into the “Super Pursuit Mode” KITT that debuted in the fourth season. I can vaguely remember Michael Knight hitting the pursuit mode button and watching the montage as all the panels swung out. That was probably the coolest thing I had ever seen on TV until I was introduced to Skinemax.

How much is this kick ass piece of TV history going to set you back? Well with 23 hours left in the auction it is sitting at a cool 31K and change. That’s a bargain for an awesome piece of 80’s TV history.

Hit the link to the auction below for the full set of pictures.

Ebay Auction

The Price is Right for boobs. This video might have worked a little better with the background music being Sarah Connor’s “Bounce,” but what can you do.

On the left is Michael Scofield the main character in the Fox TV show Prison Break showing off his full upper body tattoo that cleverly hides the blueprint for the prison his brother is housed in.

On the right we have…well I actually don’t know what the fuck we have. It looks like the floor plans of the dream homes I would draw on graph paper when I was in 5th grade. Is it a house or an apartment? If it is a prison that tattoo isn’t exactly incon-fucking-spicuous. What the fuck is that diamond in the middle? Is that some kind of secret escape chute?

Saturday night ultimate fighting or mixed-martial arts (MMA) finally got the spotlight on primetime non-cable television with the Elite XC (Xtreme Combat) Saturday Night Fights on CBS. With a fight card featuring five matches, including a female bout, and our favorite Gus Johnson handling the commentator duties, there was definitely a lot of hype surrounding the night.

Although the night started out with only about two minutes of actual fighting in the first hour, the final three fights lived up to the hype. The women’s match between Gina Carano and Kaitlin Young might have been the best girl-fight I’ve ever seen, the fight was called when Young’s left eye swelled up to the size of a hot-air balloon between the second and third rounds, giving Carano the victory. Carano, known as the face of female fighting, is pretty darn good looking for someone who gets punched in the face for a living - also of note, Carano is “Crush” on American Gladiators. I’m sure we’ll be seeing her as a Monday Morning Pick Me Up soon.

Robbie Lawyer and Scott Smith had an epic battle, which unfortunately ended after an accidental eye gouge in the third round left Smith with impaired vision. Watching the slow-mo replay, I almost went blind too.

In the main event, Kimbo Slice (a.k.a. Kevin Ferguson) went up against James “Colossus” Thompson - the “Colossus” nickname I assume comes from the colossus cauliflower ear that protrudes on the left side of his head, it’s so big I’m surprised he can stand up straight. Kimbo is known from just being a brute street fighter who is essentially a YouTube phenomenon because of this fight. People knock Kimbo for being an amateur MMA fighter who is untrained and relies on his raw fighting style. My roommate continued to be frustrated with Kimbo’s inability to execute moves/holds throughout the whole fight and expected Kimbo to not even last past the first round.

The highlight of the fight for me was when Thompson was attempting to choke-out Kimbo, the ref was asking if Kimbo wanted to tap out, instead Kimbo gave him the thumbs up and continued to fight on. In the third round, Kimbo put together a series of punches that knocked Thompson into a drunken stagger resulting in the ref to step-in and end the fight.

Overall it was a good night for the sport. Although it still has its critics, with the growth of the sport, the hype and popularity surrounding it, we’ll surely see more of these events in the primetime spotlight.

Check out the videos of the fights online - MMA TKO is a good source.

All I wanted to do yesterday was watch the UEFA Championship soccer match between Manchester United and Chelsea. I thought I had done everything right. When I sat down to eat breakfast yesterday I remembered the game would be on (a small victory right there) so I found the game in the guide on ESPN2HD and I set our Comcast DVR to record it. I then spent the rest of a hectic work day looking forward to watching some kick ass soccer and trying to avoid any and all websites that might ruin the game for me. I managed to cock this up when I looked at MSNBC at about 3:30 p.m. and saw a headline that declared the winner. I didn’t read the article and I didn’t see the score so I pretended it didn’t happen and soldiered on.

Fast foward about 6 hours, all roomates are home, beers are open, the DVR is fired up and we are learning the ins and out of the pitch (World speak for soccer field) from guys with awesome accents. We see Ronaldo score on a sweet ass header, I still don’t know how he whips his head around like that, and then right before the half Lampard, the hero from Chelsea’s semi-final match, scores to tie things up. We watch the second half and see a great battle of missed opportunities and post shots. As the second half draws to a close Honcho explains, mostly to me, that there are two guaranteed overtimes of 15 minutes and after that if it is still tied it goes to penalty kicks.

Regulation ends and I grab the remote to fast forward through the bullshit and get to overtime. The progess bar pops up and after some quick computing by Honcho and I we both realize that we are completely and totally fucked. The progress bar indicates we are 2 hours and 11 minutes into a 2 hour and 35 minute recording. That means there are 24 minutes left in the recording but at least 30 minutes of overtime to play. We managed to see the first overtime before the recording came to an end.

You can’t make me believe for one goddamn second that Comcast doesn’t have the power to tell that DVR on the fly that the program is going to go longer and extend the recording. Why the fuck do I now have to record the hour of bullshit after any sporting event “just in case”. Maybe I can’t blame them for not giving a shit about the largest sporting event in the world. I had to sit through 17 minutes of dipshits discussing the NBA and MLB before SportsCenter even showed the highlights of the game. If it had been the Super Bowl, the World Series or the NBA Finals that fucking box would have kept recording.

So once again Comcast you have fucked me and per your usual practice you didn’t even have the common courtesty to give me a reach around.

I come across funny shirts on the internet all the time but there are few that I would actually consider purchasing. I think I am going to have to make an exception for the rare cab shirt. If your 90’s sitcom theme song lyrics are a little rusty I have included some below to help jog your memory.

I whistled for a cab and when it came near the
License plate said “fresh” and had a dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought now forget it, yo home to bel-air

I pulled up to a house about seven or eight
And I yelled to the cabby “yo, home smell you later”
Looked at my kingdom I was finally there
To settle my throne as the prince of bel-air

Product Page: Busted Tees

Check out this local newscast that tries to get some footage at Puppy Paradise. Apparently the dogs missed the memo that this was a family news broadcast and they should save the humping for later. I don’t know if Don Harman doesn’t have Animal Planet or the Discovery channel but he loses his shit when they cut back to him for the weather. I don’t know if I have ever seen somebody laugh so hard about a couple of dogs getting freaky.

When you have a show called Dirty Jobs it goes without saying that you are probably going to end up getting dirty. If you plan on rolling back to your motel room still dirty it is probably a good idea to cover your dirty ass tracks before the maid sees them.

Mike made the rookie mistake of leaving dirty boot prints all the way to his door and then he isn’t even bright enough close the curtains before the maid catches him laying all over the white sheets.

See the video after the jump.
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Well, we have a new low for father’s (and men) everywhere. Apparently our friends at Double Viking watch the Tyra Banks show in their free time, because they found some of the most ridiculous footage of fatherhood I have ever seen.

This dad has become his prostitute daughters manager….what??? And as manager, it is his duty to 1) drive her to the brothels 2) do her makeup and hair 3) give her sex advice and 4) WAX HER DOWN THERE. Yes, for real. I feel like the police should be getting involved or something, especially after seeing what they did at that polygamist town. One of the most disturbing moments comes at the end of the video when the daughter is crying and does not want to get out of the car and go to “work”. The dad jumps in and says, “the decision was made, this is what you want to do….think happy thoughts…i want you to go in their and make a good impression”. Wow. And then when she gets out of the car he hands her her lotion….Even Tyra is shocked.

Check out the video here

Even if you can find a way to explain the gold paint on your face the can of gold spray paint under the chair you are sitting in is really going to be the nail in the coffin. Who calls the cops on a guy huffing paint in an RV park? If he is chilling in his fold up chair who really cares? If you are going to get busted by the cops for drugs make it something good like meth or blow. Spray paint? What is this eighth grade?

Okay, posting this story was really just an excuse to post this clip from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. If you don’t watch the show you are really doing yourself a disservice. After huffing a shit ton of paint Charlie (he prefers silver) writes Day Man, one of the finest compositions ever created.

Original Story: Daily News