Here is a new life rule. If you find yourself in Singapore and you are a male don’t under any circumstances start dicking around and sniffing ladies armpits.

The 36-year-old, who the Straits Times said was mentally unstable, had previous convictions for drug and sex-related offences. He molested 23 women over the course of 15 months, smelling their armpits and touching them in lifts, staircase landings and their homes, the paper said

This guy received 14 years in prison and 18 whacks of the cane on his bare ass. Apparently this kind of sentence is usually reserved for hardcore criminals but the judge felt there was a high likelihood that this guy would be a repeat offender so he decided to go big right off the bat.

Sounds a little harsh for a guy that just wants to smell some lady B.O. I mean sure whack him on the ass 18 times, but is the 14 years in prison really necessary?

Original Story: Yahoo! News

Typography + film audio = awesome. Mr Diggles collected his favorites here and they’re worth seeing.

Perhaps all we need is audio and the text, with some genius typographer leading us along. The same way John Williams knew what the shark was doing…Maybe image is dead. Bad news for filmmakers like me, but hey, I accept the inevitable future. Either way, it’s fun as hell.

See all you might want here.

By the bye, Mr. Diggles is an old friend of mine, and one that may not remember that we were ever friends. But he’s smart and internet savvy enough to figure it out. So add him to your daily reads and thank me later. Really…it’s good stuff.

The land of our founding fathers has impressed yet again!  Actually, the twins were separated at birth and adopted by different parents (think Danny DeVito and Arnold Swartzskdjgsjr in Twins or that old WB show Sister, Sister).  Porno producers around the globe are seeing light bulbs turn on above their heads…

“A set of British twins who were separated at birth went on to marry each other without realizing they were related, the UK Press Association reported Friday. The brother and sister, who were adopted by separate parents, were given an annulment after a High Court judge ruled that the marriage had never been valid.”

My question is, how did they find out? And, did they immediately want to vomit?

Full story here 

Unfortunately it’s a slow day and I feel somewhat sick about posting this, but some douchebag in New York decided to make the most of his Starbucks coupon by ordering the most expensive and possibly nastiest drink EVER!

The author of [An Error Occurred While Processing This Directive].com blogs about his boring escapade to get his money’s worth with a Starbucks free drink coupon. The final order: 13 shot venti soy hazelnut vanilla cinnamon white mocha with extra white mocha and caramel, rings in at a reasonable $13.76 (with tax).

I’m pretty sure this guy isn’t going to be able to sleep until next year. Apparently, they’re still working on a name for the drink, so we would love to hear your suggestions. So far, mine are “Cup of Garbage” and “White Mocha Shit.”

If you are as bored at work as I am, you might be interested in the full posting here: The Most Expensive Drink at Starbucks. I’m going to strongly suggest not reading anything else on that site though, you’ll thank me later.

On the same day a news story pops up that scientists have successfully made glow-in-the-dark cloned cats, we also get a story that a girl was born with 4 arms and 4 legs in India, and they removed the extra ones!

Pick a side, science! Either we’re going headfirst into the crazy superhero power market, or we’re resisting it. We can’t be making living things glow in the dark, and then remove a God-given superpower from a little girl! She could have grown up to fight crime!

Glowing cats

Spider-girl

These aren’t just any old members of the wild kingdom, these are British Trout.  And like any other self-respecting Britainite, they want their freedom.

Owners of a fish farm near the village of Alresford have been raising fish for nearly 30 years. Recently they noticed some of their brown trout appeared to be missing.

Dennis Bright captured images of the trout leaping 3 feet out of the water into the mouth of an 8 inch wide metal feeding pipe. The pipe leads to a tributary of the River Itchen about 30 feet away. To get to the water, the trout had to leap into the tiny metal pipe then swim against the swift current.

Swimming upstream ain’t shit son!

Ken Mier, who described himself as an investigator for the Alabama Ku Klux Klan and the national office of the Ku Klux Klan LLC, said in an e-mail to The Cullman Times that his group is against the tactics of the National Knights of the Ku Klux Klan, which held an anti-immigration protest last month in Athens.

“We are opposed to the ignorance and stupidity as displayed by the individuals that thumbed their nose at the area churches by continuing to use racial slurs, threats and avoided Christian deportment,” he said.

Wait. One KKK member actually called another KKK member ignorant and stupid? Somebody should explain the concept of irony to this chuckle head. Does anyone know what Christian deportment is? I think KKK Group 1 is just cranky because KKK Group 2 got a permit from the city to display their ignorance and stupidity and KKK Group 1 didn’t.

Original Story: WAFF.com

I love it when a story comes full circle.

Back in July I posted a story about a man who was accused of having sex with a bike.

This morning I am surfing the glorious WWW and come across a story that the same poor SOB has been convicted of the above mentioned bike sex crime.

On Wednesday Mr Stewart admitted to sexual breach of the peace in Ayr Sheriff Court, where depute fiscal Gail Davidson described how he had been found by the hostel workers.

“The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex.”

Here is the real bitch of the whole thing. This guy was put on the sex offenders’ register. Is there a special section of the register just for people who have been convicted of violating inanimate objects? I am all for the human on human sex offender list but does bike sex guy really deserve to be listed? If this guy had been caught humping a Cup Nude would he have been given the same punishment?

Original Story: Telegraph.co.uk

Nope no photoshop magic here. This douche bag actually had a third ear implanted into his arm as some kind of “art” thing. Apparently it took the guy 10 years to find a surgeon who was willing to do it. No shit? I would have guessed that any surgeon would just piss themselves when presented with the opportunity to put a third ear in a creepy old guy’s arm. The ear was grown in a lab from cells and then implanted back in 2006. This ass clown is getting ready to take the level of douche baggery to the next level by having a bluetooth microphone installed in the ear so “that way you can listen to what my ear is hearing.” Who the fuck wants to listen to your arm-ear!? The thing is 24 inches away from your other ears. What kind of earth shattering art shit is this ear going to pick up that your normal ears wouldn’t?

Original Story: Daily Mail

This is one of those stories that is almost to good to be true.

The man, who regularly banks with Chase, stopped by the branch at 200 S. Dirksen Parkway about 11:15 a.m., picked up a blank withdrawal slip from a kiosk, filled it out and went to the counter, where he handed the slip to the teller.

The teller, who has been the victim of two bank robberies, decided not to take any chances and activated the holdup alarm, then stalled the man.Police descended on the bank parking lot and waited for the man to emerge from the building. Inside, he waited patiently for the teller to finish his transaction so he could leave.

I love the “possibly a practical joker” line. Really? You think? No that guy with the ski mask on got cold feet after he wrote the note and just put the deposit slip back and then left the bank. I have to admit that is a funny ass joke. I wish there was some way I could pull that on one of my friends. Possbile Tastybooze original video?

But to make things even better the poor unsuspecting son of a bitch has to hand the slip to the one teller that has been the victim of two bank robberies? How many tellers working in banks have been victims of multiple robberies? I am thinking after the first one you are probably looking for a new line of work. Keep in mind this is Springfield, IL. Not exactly a hot bed of criminal activity.

Original Story: Rockford Registar Star

Goddamn it these people are stupid. Why do they think they can get away with handing a cashier a million dollar bill and get change? I remembered this story from 2004 when a woman tried to buy $1,675 dollars worth of crap at Wal-Mart with a $1 million bill. At least she actually tried to buy some shit with it.

The douche bag arrested in Pittsburg on Monday didn’t even try to do that. He walked into a Giant Eagle grocery store headed straight for the customer service desk and then proceeded to ask for change for his $1 million bill featuring Grover Cleveland. Forget the fact that he was using a fake bill. Did he really think a grocery store just had a million dollars sitting around?

I am guessing the bill pictured has to be the one the guy tried to use. You can buy it from The Living Waters Store for $6.00.

Original Story: Pittsburgh Tribune-Review

Back in February Lexington Steele posted a story titled May we all go this way… about a man who died while his wife was giving him a sherry enema. Apparently the guy loved booze and had a fetish for enemas so why not combine the two? Michael Warner’s wife was charged with negligent homicide by prosecutors for administering the alcohol enema. This week the prosecutor dropped the charges due to a lack of evidence.

At the time of Warner’s indictment in 2005, police told the Houston Chronicle the woman had given her husband two large bottles of sherry, which raised his blood alcohol level to 0.47 percent, or nearly six times the level considered legally drunk in Texas.

She told the newspaper her husband was addicted to enemas and often used alcohol in that manner. Police said Warner had a throat ailment that left him unable to drink the sherry.

Original Story: Reuters

After a long day of drinking beers and doing meth William Galloway decided to take a nighttime drive sans headlights. Well a cop took notice of William’s shenanigans and tried to pull him over. I don’t know what William was thinking but I think he decided to take the saying “Go big or go home” to heart.

Troopers and St. Johns County deputies who joined the chase said they watched the driver throw beer cans from the truck as he weaved in and out of traffic at speeds up to 115 mph and passed cars in heavy rainfall.

Galloway, defiant to the end, told deputies he “was going to die fighting and swinging.” Tests showed an alcohol level nearly twice the legal limit, according to a report.

Beer cans, middle finger, taser, 100+ MPH speeds, drugs and threatening to fight all the officers. I think William did a pretty good job of going big. I don’t know what else to could add to this arrest. It literally has it all. I would pay money to watch a video of this whole thing.

Original Story: Jacksonville.com

Don’t cops have better things to do even in middle of nowhere North Carolina?

Morrisville police have charged a man with assault on a government official after an officer said the man coughed into his face during a traffic stop.

“He says I coughed in his face,” Kauffman said. “But that would only work if he had a 4-foot-long face.”

How does being discourteous and not covering ones mouth turn into assault on a government official? Did this dickhead cop get a little spit on his face or something? The guy was driving a minivan so he was probably up a little higher then the cop’s waist but is a cough a weapon? If he made no physical contact with the officer then how could it be assault?

Original Story: MSNBC

I love it when someone from religion X has the balls to tell someone from religion Y that religion Y is fake. What proof do they have that religion X is real?

A Leakey High School senior is being told by his school district to cut his hair, but the student claimed religious values ban him from cutting it.

“I talked to the superintendent, and that’s when he supposedly got word from his attorney that my religion is illegitimate,” Daly said.

On a side note check out the kid’s crazy long hair that is inappropriate for school.

Original Story: KSAT.com