“You can purchase anything off the Internet except common sense,” Harrison said. “A venomous snake isn’t a pet. You don’t play with it. If you do, you’re an idiot.”
Wildlife officers arrested 10 idiots and confiscated over 100 snakes during an undercover operation in Kentucky. One batshit-crazy-yahoo had 50 venomous snakes in his house alone including water moccasins, rattlesnakes and a puff adder. Most of the idiots arrested were part of an even batshit-crazier church that takes a bible passage stating true believers can take up serpents without being harmed literally.
Shit, I think that if you managed to sell common sense on the internet the internet might just shut down. Kids with video cameras and nothing to do would stop uploading videos of themselves doing ridiculous shit to Break.com and YouTube. I know I would have a hard time finding shit to write about if a sudden rash of common sense swept the world.
After many years of debate over global warming, nature is finally taking a stand and letting humans know how it feels. I guess we shoulda signed that Kyoto thingy….
WTF? I thought all these little tuxedo wearing guys could do was belly slide and waddle. Okay, maybe a few here and there can fly, but shit, man! That’s a lot of penguins flying at once. Maybe they’re tired of Antarctica?
Alright, now I can’t tell if BBC is f–king with me. Is this shit real?
This little guy obviously thinks he’s a squirrel, cause he’s got a mouthful of nuts. I gotta say, until I saw these pictures, I was unaware of how popular the blow job is on Animal Planet.
I am a huge fan of Big Buck Hunter. I would be afraid to even try to quantify the amount of money I have dumped into Big Buck Hunter machines at bars around the country. I can’t even count the number of mornings I have woken up with a sore left elbow from a night of Terminator style single arm shotgun pumping.
So you can only imagine my excitement when I came across this bad dude. Big Buck Hunter Safari edition. That’s right bitches you get to roam the deserts, savannahs and jungles of Africa hunting down big game like the Gemsbok, Kudu, Sable, Cape Buffalo and Wildebeast. I don’t even know what half that shit is but I can wait to land my first triple Wildebeast.
The only thing standing between me and Wildebeast hunting bliss is the $4875 price tag on this thing. In a bar setting you could probably pay this thing off in under a month, but unfortunately I do not have a bar. I wonder if there is anyway we could get one of these thing shipped out the Tasty Booze headquarters for review?
A few other quick stats: New Dual Pump-Action Shotguns!
15 New Bonus Rounds!
25 Photo-Realistic, Hi-Definition Habitats!
Over 400 Authentic and Unique 3-D Hunting Scenes !
Up to 4 players can now compete Head-to-Head !
Hunt in the morning, afternoon and evening
Hunt in changing weather like rain, snow and fog
A man in Canada has been arrested after starting a huge grass fire in an attempt to kill a gopher. Firefighters believe the man shoved a propane torch down the gopher hole which ignited the blaze. The fire was large enough to destroy vehicles and a few small buildings in the area.
Maybe he learned his lesson after the C4 charges shaped as woodland creatures and decided to go with the propane torch as a way of toning things down.
Everyone has heard of the worm in tequilla but a fucking rattlesnake in vodka!? This tasty little concoction that you see below was put together by Bayou Bob’s Brazos River Rattlesnake Ranch. It looks like he took some brand of off-the-shelf vodka and dropped in a 10 inch baby rattlesnake.
If you were hoping to get your hands on some of this hooch that might be a little easier said then done. Bayou Bob’s was recently raided by authorities in Texas where they confiscated 411 bottles of rattlesnake vodka. I checked out his website (linked to above) but I couldn’t find any info on the snake booze.
Infusing alcohol with snakes or scorpions is believed to possess aphrodisiac properties, TABC officials told the paper. The practice, in which alcohol is poured over the body of a snake or scorpion, is popular in Asian cultures.
I don’t know what about drinking rattlesnake soaked vodka would make you horny. Maybe just an overwhelming sense of happiness about still being alive? I think Bayou Bob can keep his snake hooch and I will stick to infusing my vodka with something a little more domestic like bacon.
Last night deputies found Adrian Apgar naked, wading through a pond toward an alligator that was about 50 feet away. Deputies were able to talk Apgar out of the water before anything happened. This is where things take a turn for the weird. Back in 2006 deputies rescued a naked and drugged up Apgar from an alligator attack in a Central Florida lake in which he ended up losing an arm. Based on today’s story I think it is safe to say that the 2006 incident wasn’t so much an attack as it was Apgar pissing off a gator that was minding it’s own business.
So you get into an alligator brawl with two good arms and end up not only losing the fight but one of the said good arms. How the fuck did this guy think he stood a chance, now with only one arm, against another gator? Maybe the guy has a death wish but there have got to be better ways to go about it. What drug makes you want to go out a piss off an alligator?
The fisherman said: “I was shocked, the animal clearly wanted to kill me. One minute I was leaning over the boat teasing it for a picture.
“The next minute it burst out of the water with incredible speed … its jaws fully open. I jumped back and the croc landed on the boat and then slapped into the water. I was shaking.”
Who would have guessed that fucking around with a giant salt water crocodile was a bad idea?
How about being shot in the arm by your buddy who is trying to rescue you?
Jason Grant was working in a reptile farm when a large saltwater crocodile got a hold of his leg and started to violently shake him. One of Jason’s coworkers fired two shots in an attempt to save him. One hit the croc the other caught Jason in the arm. The shots did cause the croc to give up his lunch and let go of Jason.
You’ve got to be happy that someone was able to rescue you but at the same time I would still be a little pissed about having my wing clipped. However a clipped wing is definitely better than ending up in a croc’s belly.
The Houston Zoo has a new attraction where it lets zoo visitors play tug of war with a lion or tiger over a piece of raw meat. The zoo staff attaches a 20 lbs. piece of raw meat to a rope that leads out of the cage to a public area. They then allow zoo guests to tug on the rope as the animal tries to enjoy his raw meat afternoon snack. Below is a little YouTube video goodness taken recently by a visitor to the zoo.
Here is my favorite quote from a zoo employee.
It’s designed, Barongi says, to keep the animals from getting bored.
I would imagine that nothing spices up a lions day like having the assholes that locked him in a cage let other assholes try to steal food from him.
These are just a few pictures of your average moose trying to get his rocks off. I can’t imagine the set of blue balls this guy’s going to have after he gets done with the bison statue. Thanks to The Dude and Zorro Dogg for sending this link in.
These aren’t just any old members of the wild kingdom, these are British Trout. And like any other self-respecting Britainite, they want their freedom.
Owners of a fish farm near the village of Alresford have been raising fish for nearly 30 years. Recently they noticed some of their brown trout appeared to be missing.
Dennis Bright captured images of the trout leaping 3 feet out of the water into the mouth of an 8 inch wide metal feeding pipe. The pipe leads to a tributary of the River Itchen about 30 feet away. To get to the water, the trout had to leap into the tiny metal pipe then swim against the swift current.
