Southwest Airlines is starting to get out of control during this economic slowdown.  Whether you like it or not, you are heading out of town upon request.

Zach Galifianakis interviews Jon Hamm in the newest episode of “Between Two Ferns.”

Zach: “I understand that you won a Golden Globe Award.”
John: “I did.”
Zach: “Mark that under “who gives a shit”.”

Jake is looking for a new laptop but he isn’t concerned with doing homework, video editing or graphic design. Jake is a straight shooter who needs the perfect laptop to watch porn.

For years the credit card companies have been fucking us consumers but with the new laws signed by President Obama they are finally going to get a taste of their own medicine.

I don’t know about you, but I am dying, DYING, to see The Hangover.  That shit looks f-ing hilarious.

Apparently the producers of American Idol were interested in Will Ferrell singing a little diddy on the finale but after they re-read the submitted song they changed their minds.

THIS IS THE MOST WONDERFUL SONG EVER!!!
MAKES SUSAN BOYLE SEEM LIKE CHER
THIS IS THE MOST WONDERFUL SONG EVER!!
IT CAN MAKE AN EAGLE MAKE LOVE TO A BEAR!!!

(Reveal a choir of literally a thousand people. We can use seat filling cardboard cut outs if need be. But it should be absolutely gigantic.)

THIS IS THE MOST WONDERFUL SONG EVER
PAULA, THIS AINT LIP SYNCING, IT’S REAL!!
THIS SONG IS BETTER THAN ALL CHRISTMAS CAROLS COMBINED
LIKE FINDING A NAKED LADY, IN YOUR HAPPY MEAL!!!

Looks like a tune that would have topped the Billboard charts to me. You can check out the full song lyrics and the rest of the story behind them over on Funny or Die.

Now that the government owns a large chunk of Citibank they’ve nationalized the bank and everything about your banking experience at Citibank is about to get a whole lot shittier.

The greedy mortgage brokers might have knocked him down but Dow Jones is coming back for his revenge.

The internet is full of assholes that live in their mother’s basements and get boners writing mean shit about people on message boards. SNL’s Casey Wilson sat down and decided to read some of the messages these pricks had been writing about her.

If you haven’t seen Zach Galifianakis on his interview show “Between Two Ferns” it’s truly hilarious. Things quickly get off topic and Zach is easily distracted, this time around by Natalie Portman’s dog.

You know you’ve been thinking about them ever since the shower scene in Starship Troopers and now is your chance to get your hands on Denise Richard’s fun bags.

The biggest story in gossip blogs from last week was Samantha Ronson breaking up with Lindsay Lohan. Well, Lohan at least has a sense of humor about it, already completing her eHarmony profile to get back on the market. Buyer beware!

Some people like to think that if you’re “grown up” or “mature” fart humor is no longer funny. Well I think those assholes need to climb down out of their ivory tower and realize that farts are always funny. Case in point, some prankster uses a fart machine during this city council meeting and the entire meeting grinds to a halt with laughter.