It’s been quite the 2000’s for Boston sports fans. Most recently the Patriots went undefeated, the Celtics won the NBA championship, and now Dustin Pedrioa wins the AL MVP award in just his second season. The rich get richer. And worse yet, my Boston friends cried like little babies when the Pats got smoked by David Tyree and Tampa Bay won the AL East. Congrats to Pedroia, he is good, and the first AL second baseman to win the award in 50 years. But to the fans, think about my misery for a second before you cry in my face.
1. Seattle Mariners: Play in the worst division in all of baseball, haven’t won it since 2001. And yes, finished last and 39 games out in 2008. A special thanks goes out to all the experts who predicted the M’s to win it.
2. Seattle Seahawks: Yes, the Hawks were predicted universally to win the NFC West this year. In fact, we are in last place with a lovely 2-8 record. Way to shut down a career Holmgren!
3. Seattle Sonics: Decided to leave town after last season for Oklahoma City thanks to our idiot Starbuck’s billionaire who sold them to the same OKC businessmen who tried to jack the Hornets from a hurting New Orleans. Thanks at least for acting shocked when they stole the Sonics too. The only way this could get worse is if the Thun….(ugh, vomit in the mouth)…Thunder were actually good this season. Fortunately, no worries there. Go Blazers!!!
4. UW Huskies Football: They are literally the worst team in college football. Oh wait, no they aren’t, they are ranked second worst in all of division 1A. Thanks Washington State Cougars for saving me there and being ranked last.
5. UW Huskies Basketball: Our one saving grace! They are going to take the league by storm this year. Shit, their starting point guard is named Isiah Thomas after all. Wait, what’s that you say? They already started the season and lost their first game embarrisingly to the University of Portland? Wasn’t this a warm-up game? University of Portland has a team???? Nice.
Forbes magazine is finally getting around to hard-hitting and revelant news stories, they’ve even brought themselves to the point of doing these stories in list form. We lovelists here at TastyBooze, and this one is right up our alley. It’s Forbes’ Hardest Drinking Cities in the U.S. Half the article talks about how this list came about, it sounds all very scientific, but it came down to a survey of consumers in 33 cities with these questions:
Whether they had at least one drink of alcohol within the past 30 days; whether men had more than two drinks per day or women one drink per day; and whether they had five or more drinks on one occasion. In each case, higher-ranking cities reported larger percentages of their population answering in the affirmative.
And the results:
1. Austin, TX
2. Milwaukee, WI
3. San Francisco, CA
4. Providence, RI
5. Chicago, IL
6. Seattle, WA, Cleveland, OH, St. Louis, MO (3-way tie)
9. Boston, MA
10. Cincinnati, OH
11. Pittsburgh,PA
12. Virginia Beach, VA
13. Portland, OR
14. Jacksonville, FL
15. Detroit, MI
Yes! Representing for Seattle! We had 64.2% of our residents drinking in the past month, and 16.4% of residents who had five of more drinks on one occasion!
Kind of surprised we beat out Boston…and no New York or Las Vegas. Maybe it’s just the tourists from these 15 cities doing all the drinking at those destination cities.
A couple of weeks ago two guys broke into a Fred Meyer outside of Monroe, Wash., a suburb south of Seattle. Unfortunately, the two left a trail of stolen goods for the cops to track them down. They made it even easier on law enforcement by falling asleep on the stolen property when the cops arrived. Being good law enforcement agents, the cops snapped a couple photos of the criminals before arresting them. Cops seem to think alcohol was involved, but I wouldn’t rule out meth.
I know how it can be when you’re drunk and just looking for a place to crash for the night. However, I’ve never gone to extremes of breaking into a store to make my pass-out that much more comfortable. I mean you’re sleeping on a laid out hammock and some seat cushions. The grass probably would have been just as comfortable in your drunken state, and it’s not going to put you in jail - where the two are STILL, since they can’t make bail.
Yesterday was a sad day for Seattle sports fans. One Clay Bennett took away the Seattle Supersonics to Oklahoma City. The City of Seattle and the Sonics ownership came to a settlement in the lease agreement for Key Arena, allowing the Sonics to relocate to Oklahoma City. The Seattle Times has more details on the situation.
Although we’ve already started to adopt the Portland Trailblazers as our new home team, this was still a sad day for Seattle…losing the only major professional sports team to bring a national championship to the city (no offense Seattle Storm). So many classic memories and feelings are summed up in this video:
Clay Bennett, you’ve just received the Douchebag of the Week honors. Asshole.
It’s been quite the 2000’s for Boston sports fans. Most recently the Patriots went undefeated, the Celtics won the NBA championship, and now Dustin Pedrioa wins the AL MVP award in just his second season. The rich get richer. And worse yet, my Boston friends cried like little babies when the Pats got smoked by David Tyree and Tampa Bay won the AL East. Congrats to Pedroia, he is good, and the first AL second baseman to win the award in 50 years. But to the fans, think about my misery for a second before you cry in my face.
